Pacifica's Revenge
by mon-ra
Summary: After being humiliated in Irrational Treasure. Pacifica plots to destroy Dipper by stealing his heart and grinding it to dust!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

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Pacifica's Revenge

Pacifica growled as she paced around on her room. It has been a week since Dipper Pines showed her those accursed documents about her ancestor! The humiliation she felt that day still fills her with rage! She wanted revenge but how? The Pines clan has proven that they won't be intimidated either by her family's status or their wealth. So her usual methods won't work.

Unlike his sister Mabel, Dipper actually has a brain in his head. Possibly he has both their brains since his twin clearly didn't have one. In fact rumor has it that Dipper has a talent for solving mysteries. He even figured out Gideon's scam. Pacifica, like everyone else in town, truly believes that Gideon is a real physic and disregard the rumor as myth, but it would explain why he hasn't done a show in awhile.

Also over the past week Dipper has been solving so called unsolvable crimes that the local law enforcement couldn't. Not too surprising considering how Sheriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland were complete dunces! Now he and Mabel are calling themselves the Mystery Twins! Meaning that if she does anything to one the other would most likely meddle ruining her plans! So first she needs to come up with a way to separate them. Except that she can't think of anything!

Pacifica groaned in frustration as she pulled out a picture of the twins she got from one of her informants. "I hate you!" she growled ripping the picture in half. Just then inspiration struck. Pacifica had torn the picture in front of her mirror so now her reflection stood in between Dipper and Mabel!

Pacifica quickly began grabbing all of her make up and other cosmetics! "You may be smart boy Dipper Pines, but you are still just a boy," Pacifica laughed as she gave herself a make over. "And just like all boys, you have the same weakness!" After she finished she held up Dippers picture to line up with her reflection. "Aw don't we look like the perfect couple," she said sarcastically even blowing a mock kiss at the picture. "That's right Dipper dear. I'm going to steal your heart, grind it into dust, and then blow it right into your sister's ugly face! Bwahaaaaa!" Pacifica began laughing manically at the brilliance of her plan.

Meanwhile miles away at the Mystery 'S'hack. Dipper Pines suddenly felt an icy cold chill running up his spine. "Hey Soos I think the AC is on the fritz again it's freezing in here," Dipper complained.

"OK, I'll check it out," Soos promised.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

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Pacifica Northwest and her posse were scouting out the grocery store. According to her informants today is the day Stan usually buys food. "Where are they?" Pacifica demanded impatiently. They have been waiting for over five minutes and still there's no sign of them.

"Pacifica, I think that's them over there," one of the girls said pointing at another store.

Pacifica looked in the direction the girl was pointing at and sure enough Dipper and Mabel were there carrying bags to their uncle's car. While Stan went back in to make a few more purchases. "The dollar store," Pacifica said rolling her eyes. "Why am I not surprised. Ok you two know what to do."

"No! Please you can't make us do this!" Candy begged desperately holding on to Grenda for support. Pacifica glared at the unwilling two girls who then gulped and hurried off towards Mabel. Pacifica may not be able to intimidate the Pines family but she still had everyone else in Gravity Falls under her thumb. Which includes Mabel's loser girlfriends.

Pacifica watched from a safe distance as Candy and Grenda began talking Mabel. Mabel excitingly jumps for joy then turns to Dipper. Who appears somewhat annoyed but still agreeing to whatever Mabel asked him. Afterwards Mabel ran off with her friends leaving Dipper alone. "Follow them and make sure they don't do anything stupid," Pacifica ordered her henchgirls. They nodded in compliance before leaving. After making sure Mabel was gone Pacifica made her way towards Dipper. "Hey Dipper fancy meeting you here," Pacifica said seductively.

"Pacifica, what are you doing here?" Dipper asked.

"Oh you know, I think we got off to a bad start had a few misunderstandings and I just wanted to bury the hatchet so to speak," Pacifica said.

Dipper eyed her suspiciously. While he's certain that Pacific wants to 'bury the hatchet' he's a little concern about where or rather who she plans to bury it in. "Look if this is about your Great, Great Grandfather you don't have to worry. I have no intentions of blackmailing you nor expose your family secret."

"Well that's good news," Pacifica said in her ususal sassy tone. "Except that I don't believe you! You obviously want something!"

"You can believe what you want," Dipper shot back. "And truthfully I just want you to lay off Mabel okay."

"Aw that is so sweet, always looking out for your sister. I'm almost envious of her. Your really are a good brother. That or you have a sister complex. Do you just have a sister complex or something?" Pacifica taunted.

"I do not have sister complex!" Dipper insisted.

"Oh right you prefer older women," Pacifica laughed. "Especially the slacker type who likes to cut out of work early."

"Wait, what, how? I don't know what you are talking about!" Dipper choked.

"Oh Puleez! Who do you think I am? There's nothing that goes on in this town that I don't know about." Pacifica said. "So I'll make a deal with you. You keep quiet about my family and I'll help you win the girl of your dreams."

Dipper gulped, so far he's made zero progress with Wendy. And despite he and Mabel's best efforts to sabotage them, Wendy and Robbie's relationship is still going on. While Dipper is willing to admit that he is desperate, he's not sure if he's this desperate!

Pacifica smiled triumphantly. She could already tell that she had him ensnared. Now all she had to do was reel him in. "Why don't you take some time to think about it," she said handing him a business card. "Call me," she winked before leaving. Dipper just stood there staring after her.

As Pacifica walked off Mabel came rushing back! "Dipper, Dipper you should have came with us. Candy showed me this cool new, uh Dipper?" Mabel paused when she noticed that her brother was just standing still, staring off down the street. Scanning over to where he was looking at. "Oh Dipper I'm so sorry," Mabel said sympathetically.

"Wha...?" Dipper glanced at his sister in confusion before looking back at the direction Pacifica left. Of course she was no longer there but a little off to the side Dipper witness Wendy and Robbie at a small deli store sharing a sandwich!

Later that night Pacifica sat in her room feeling great. Everything went according to plan. In fact it went better than planned! Who could have possibly guess that Wendy and Robbie would be there on a date at that precise moment! Not even she could have set that up so perfectly. It was almost like fate was on her side. Now all she had to do was wait and...*ring* *ring* *ring* her phone went off. "Ah right on time," she grinned with anticipation. "Hello," she answered. "Dipper Pines, so I take it that your ready to accept my offer?"

"_Yes,"_ Dipper answered reluctantly.

"Excellent, come over to my place tomorrow, and come alone!" Pacifica instructed. "Oh yeah be sure to take a shower before you come. I don't want you stinking up the my place smelling like that filthy swine."

"_Hey I have you know that Waddles smells very nice for a pig!"_ Dipper defended.

"I wasn't talking about your pet. I meant it's owner!" she laughed as she hanged up.

As Dipper returned the phone to it's holster he couldn't help but feel that he just made a huge mistake!


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

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Dipper Pines took a deep breath as he approached the Northwest estate. While the mansion no where near Beverly Hills level, it's still pretty impressive. Perfect for showcasing their status. Dipper rang the doorbell and a few seconds later the Butler opened the door. "Hello, I'm Dipper Pines and I have an appointment with Pacifica." Dipper said nervously.

"Who's at the door Jeeves!" Pacifica yelled.

"A Mr. Dipper Pines, my lady. Should throw him out?" Jeeves asked.

"Not just yet!" Pacifica said as she approached the door.

Dipper gasped as he saw her walking towards him. Instead of her usual street clothes, Pacifica had a gorgeous light pink dress on. The kind one would wear at a fancy party. If he wasn't so wary of her he'd almost say that she looked cute in that outfit. Dipper blushed as she drew even close to him. Her face practically a few centimeters from his face. She was so close he could smell the make up under her perfume. Which surprisingly he found smelled rather nice.

"Good you took my suggestion and showered," Pacifica said after inhaling deeply. "And is that cologne?"

"No it's my Gruncle's aftershave. I ran out of deodorant." Dipper admitted.

Pacifica started sniffing again. "Ah yes 'Old Mans Club' the cheapest brand on the market." Pacifica took another whiff. "But you know it actually suits you."

"Thanks, I think," Dipper said not sure if she was complementing or insulting him.

Pacifica then started looking around. "Your sister didn't follow you here did she? I don't see her anywhere. So how did you manage to convince her to let you come here alone?"

"Actually she took Waddles out to celebrate their one week anniversary," Dipper explained. "Look can we just get this over with!"

"Of course of course. Come on in." Pacifica said with a sinister smiled. She led him to the dining hall and directed him to his seat. Once she took her seat she clapped her hands twice. A few seconds later Jeeves and some other servants came out placing a full course meal of T-bone steak with steamed vegetables, fruit salad, rolls, tomato soup, grilled cheese sandwiches, and chicken wings in front of them.

Dipper couldn't stop drooling! After living off of hot dogs and chips, the sight of real food seems almost like a beautiful dream. Dipper tried to resist, he wanted to resist! He could tell that this was some kind of trap but the delicious aroma kept drawing him in, sapping his will.

"If you're not hungry that's fine, but me I'm famished," Pacifica said as she sliced her steak.

Having the food in front of him was bad enough, but seeing Pacifica enjoying it went beyond torture! When one of the servants offered to take the food away, Dipper broke down and started gorging himself.

"Now Dipper dear, you don't have to rush. The food is not going anywhere." Pacifica said while eating with the grace and elegance of a young lady. "And if this is not enough you can always ask for seconds."

Dipper felt embarrassed by his behavior and started to eat a bit more civilized. "Man I never thought that broccoli could ever taste so good," Dipper complimented as he finished off the last of his vegetables. Which was the last item on his plate.

"Would the young man be wanting seconds?" Jeeves asked refilling Dipper's glass.

"Yes please," Dipper said eagerly.

"Here why don't you finish off mine," Pacifica offered. Despite her claim that she was famished, she barely touched her food. Normally Dipper would have refuse, using the cooties excuse, but his desire for more food superseded his common sense and graciously accepted her offer.

"Man I am stuffed," Dipper said looking completely satisfied.

"Well I hope you have room for dessert," Pacifica clapped her hands twice again. Responding to her call the other servants brought in a seven different types of cakes.

"I shouldn't," Dipper once again tried to resist but ultimately gave in. "Pacifica thanks for your hospitality this is the best food I've ever had." Dipper said as he took a slice of strawberry short cake.

"Your welcome," Pacifica said wiping the icing from her mouth. Suddenly her expression became serious. "Shall we get down to business?"

"Uh business?" Dipper temporarily forgetting why he was here in the first place. "Oh right so how are you going to help me with Wendy?"

"Do you know why you're having so much trouble with Wendy?" Pacifica asked.

"Because I'm 12 and she's 15," Dipper answered.

"WRONG!" Pacifica yelled slamming her hand on the table! "Your problem is that you're wishy washy! Your way too eager but at the same time overly cautious! You need to show more guts! And most importantly of all you can't be afraid of her rejecting you!" Pacifica counted off slamming her hand each time.

While Dipper wanted to argue he knew that she was right. "And how does this help me exactly?"

"Knowing your flaws will help you overcome your short comings," Pacifica explained. "And right now your biggest weakness is your lack of experience with girls!"

"Hey I'm only 12!" Dipper reiterated.

"Why I'm willing to bet that you haven't even talked to another girl except for your sister," Pacifica teased ignoring his outburst. "And she doesn't even qualify as a girl." She could see that Dipper was getting irritated. "The point I'm trying to make is that you need to practice dating with a real girl." She said seductively.

"WHAT!?" Dipper gagged almost choking on his spoon!


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

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Mabel laughed as she happily skipped back to the Mystery 'S'hack with Waddles waddling right next to her. "Wasn't that great Waddles," Mabel said to her companion. Waddles oinked seemingly upset with something. "Yeah I know it would have been a lot better with cake but I can't afford one right now, sorry." Mabel apologized. Waddles began cuddling up to Mabel oinking sympathetically. "You're right even without cake we still had such a super wonderful extra fun special day. Nothing can ruin this moment!" Mabel declared. Until she saw Dipper exiting Pacifica's car looking utterly dejected as he went back into the Mystery 'S'hack carrying some strange boxes! "Pacifica!" Mabel snarled as she ran towards her nemesis. "Pacifica what did you do to my brother!" She demanded.

"Oh Mabel I see you had fun on you one week anniversary," Pacifica said noting the mud all over Mabel's body.

"How do you know about that?" Mabel asked.

"Oh, your brother told me all about it," Pacifica said with a slight chuckle.

"Dipper!" Mabel gasped. "But why would he tell you?"

"Because your brother is mine now," Pacifica smirked! Mabel's jaw dropped in utter shock at what she said! "Well that was satisfying," Pacifica laughed as she ordered her chauffeur to drive off. The look on Mabel's face really made her day. She couldn't wait for the rest of her plans to unfold.

Mabel just stood there unmoving since Pacifica's statement. Her words struck like a Spartan Spear piercing her heart! Mabel couldn't believe that Dipper would have anything to do with Pacifica. "Dipper!" Mabel screamed snapping out of her stupor realizing that she had to confront her brother about all this.

"Mabel," Dipper greeted nervously. "How was you day?"

"Dipper what were you doing with her?" Mabel demanded with a sad pleading expression.

"Well uh, you remember how we found out about the truth about her family," Dipper said. Mabel nodded. "She just wanted to make a deal so we won't expose her as a fraud to everyone." Dipper stop to study his sister's reaction. So far it seems that she was buying it. "Yeah she doesn't know that I already gave her all the evidence so even if I went to the press I'd have no proof."

"So what did bribe you with?" Mabel asked. "She didn't dupe you into doing something stupid did she?" Pacifica's earlier statement about Dipper being her's really has Mabel worried about her brother.

"No, no," Dipper stuttered. "She gave me these cakes!" Dipper opened the box that he was carrying revealing the leftover cakes he brought back.

Mabel began drooling over the sight of all that frosted covered goodness. Her eyes swirling as if being hypnotized. It wasn't long until all thoughts of Pacifica were completely pushed out of her mind and replaced with cake! "Look Waddles we are getting our anniversary cake after all!" She said excitedly. Waddles oinked with joy as he happily ate a slice. "You want some," Mabel asked her brother after stuffing her face with German chocolate cake.

"No thanks I'm not hungry," Dipper said slightly disgusted at the fact that the chocolate and mud on her face were no longer distinguishable. "I'll just be up in our room." Dipper didn't go into the attic like he said he would. Instead he went out onto the roof and made his way to Wendy's goofing off spot. Grabbing a soda from the cooler, Dipper began contemplating everything that's happened and what he's going to do about it.

"You know you're making a big mistake!" a strange but familiar voice called out to him.

Dipper's eyes widen in shock at the newcomer joining him on the roof. "Tyrone! Is that really you or am I going crazy?"

"Normally I'd say you're crazy," Tyrone's ghostly image said. "But then again this is Gravity Falls and you have encountered ghosts before."

"Yeah but you're a copier clone," Dipper pointed out. "Do copier clones even have souls to become ghosts?"

"Who knows," Tyrone shrugged. "Maybe I am just a figment of your imagination. Either way I here now and I'm here to tell you that you're being an idiot!"

"Hey," Dipper protested.

"I mean seriously, do you really believe that Pacifica is going to help you win Wendy over?" Tyrone asked.

"Of course not," Dipper insisted. "I know that this is more likely some revenge scheme, but even if I refuse she would just plot something else. This way I can see what she's up to and maybe figure a way to turn the tables on her."

"I take back what I said about you being an idiot," Tyrone shook his head. "Because you are a grade 'A' moron! I mean walking right into that girl's trap thinking that you can beat her!"

"Hey give me some credit! I've dealt with monsters, ghosts, and a lovesick boy with magic charms! I sure I can handle one spoiled little girl." Dipper said with confidence.

Tyrone sighed sadly, "You still have that bad habit of underestimating your opponents while overestimating your own abilities. What I'm trying to say is this won't be like fighting monsters, or ghosts, or even Gideon! This is going to be a game of wits and manipulation, and Pacifica isn't just some dim-witted airheaded heiress like the kind we see on those stupid teen sitcoms. She's a master expert at this sort of thing!"

"I know," Dipper agreed. "She proved that when I was at her house. But I still think...Hey what's happening to you?"

Tyrone looked at this arm and noticed that his body was starting to disintegrate. "Uh-oh, looks like my five minutes are up. Hey Dipper I'm not going to tell you what to do since I know that you won't listen to me, but just be careful okay. Otherwise she'll eat you alive and have Mabel for dessert!"

"Tyrone!" Dipper cried as Tyrone faded out of existence again. "Thanks pal it was good talking to you again." Dipper poured half of his soda over where Tyrone disappeared then drank the rest. Dipper crawled through the window back into his room. There he found Mabel already in bed. Judging by the way she was twitching he figures that she is on her sugar crash!

"Please Dipper don't go with her," Mabel mumbled in her sleep. "She's evil, EVIL!"

'_She'll have Mabel for dessert," _Tyrone's warning echoed in Dipper's head. Seeing Mabel struggling like this pulled on his heart strings. He hadn't considered how this would affect his sister. Which was most likely her plan from the start! "Well played Pacifica, well played." Dipper whispered as his mental scoreboard gave her the first point.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

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"Target is in sight Private Waddles!" Mabel reported into her walkie-talkie. Waddles, who was just sitting right next to her, oinked into his walkie-talkie taped next to his head. "Understood continuing observations for now," Mabel then brought out a pair of binoculars to spy on her brother! Even though he was just standing across the street from her.

After his heart to heart talk with Tyrone, Dipper decided come clean and tell Mabel the whole truth. He told her everything, about his meeting with Pacifica, and him agreeing to allow her to 'teach' him about dating! This did not go over with to well with her and she tried to talk him out of it, but Dipper asked her to trust him. Of course Mabel trusted her brother completely, but she wasn't about to let him face Pacifica alone! So Mabel prepared special camouflage sweaters complete with WWII helmets with branches taped on them for herself and Waddles. Perfect for sneaking about in the woods, except for the fact that they're not in the woods! Instead they were in the middle of town, hiding behind a bench, stalking her brother! Needless to say she really stood out and caught the attention of well everyone; but since no one confronted her, she believes that her camouflage was working.

A few minutes later Pacifica appeared. "Hey Dipper ready for our date?"

"Not really," Dipper sulked. "But let's just get this over with."

Pacifica looked over Dipper's shoulder suspiciously where she saw Mabel staring at them with some oversize binoculars. "Is that your sister? What is she doing?" Pacifica asked.

"Yeah that's Mabel," Dipper admitted without turning around. "I think she's spying on us. That won't be a problem, will it?"

Pacifica grinned mischievously as she leaded forward and whispered into Dipper's ear, "No not at all."

Mabel began grinning her teeth in rage. From her angle it looked like her nemesis just gave her brother a kiss on the cheek. Not only that Pacifica stuck her tongue out directly at her! Mabel quickly ducked out of sight. "How did she know I was here?" Mabel whispered to herself. Taking a quick peek Mabel saw that Dipper and Pacifica were now walking away. "Private Waddles the target is on the move we must pursue!" Mabel screamed into her walkie-talkie. Waddles oinked in agreement and began chasing after them.

The not so sneaky duo followed Dipper and Pacifica to the local music store. There Mabel brought out her binoculars to once again spy on Dipper. Which made no sense since she was just outside of the store looking through the window with Dipper only about ten feet away. Mabel observed as Pacifica put some headphones on Dipper and selecting a song from the sample track. Judging by Dippers dance moves and what little she could read from his lips, more than likely the music he was listening to is his favorite Icelandic pop-sensation BABBA's Disco girl. Mabel shifted over to Pacifica who seemed rather amused at the sight of Dipper making a fool of himself, and at the same time embarrassed to see Dipper making a fool of himself. After a few seconds Pacifica pulled the headphones off of Dipper and began dragging him out of the store.

Mabel, not wanting her quarry to discover her, frantically searched for a hiding spot. Completely overlooking the nearby bush, trash cans, and parked car; Mabel opted instead to crouch down near the entrance and hide inside sweater town!

"Come on, we've got a lot to cover," Pacifica said as she exited the store.

"Alright I'm coming," Dipper said. "Why did you even bring me here if you weren't even going to let me buy the CD or finish the song," he griped. While the two did notice Mabel in sweater town, they decided just to ignore her and continue on their date.

The next stop on their date was the department stores. Pacifica kept dragging Dipper around; try on different clothes, showing him a bunch of fancy jewelry, and even forcing him to smell perfume samples on her wrist! Meanwhile Mabel and Waddles were not so stealthfully jumping and rolling between the clothes racks humming the Mission Impossible theme song. Well Mabel was jumping and rolling around, Waddles just happily followed behind her oinking the James Bond theme instead. Once again everyone around her decided to ignore her antics, reenforcing her belief that she is really is a good spy.

Later Pacifica and Dipper stop at some fancy Italian restaurant for dinner. Since Mabel didn't have any reservations or connections or money to bribe the waiters; she used a false ID stating that she's military investigator, along with a fake search warrant written in crayon, claiming that there is suspected war criminal in the restaurant.

"What is going on here?" some strange old guy with an Italian accent demanded.

"Who are you?" Mabel asked.

"I am Alfredo, the owner of this fine legitimate establishment," Alfredo introduced himself. "And you are?"

"She claims to be an investigator looking for war criminals," one of the waiters explained handing his boss the fake documents.

"WHAT?!" Alfredo gasped as he read the search warrant. "No, no NOOOOOO! How did you find me? I was so careful! This place was so isolated! I thought I was finally free! I guess you can never escape your past!" Alfredo broke down. As it turns out Alfredo was one of Mussolini's top Lieutenant who escaped into hiding after WWII. Now thanks to Mabel's lie he's finally been caught. A couple of hours later Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland arrived to arrest Alfredo. It was around this time Dipper and Pacifica finished their meal and were exiting the restaurant.

"Hey what's going on over there?" Dipper wondered as he witness Alfredo entering the police car.

"Who knows and who cares," Pacifica scoffed. "Sheriff Blubs probably didn't get enough meatballs for his spaghetti."

While that statement would sound stupid for anyone else, Dipper could honestly see Sheriff Blubs arresting someone for cheating him on food.

After the police car drove off, Mabel couldn't help but feel proud. "How about that. We manage to capture a real notorious criminal all by our selves. Wait till I tell Dipper..." Mabel suddenly remembered why she was here in the first place! "DIPPER!" Mabel cried out as she frantically searched the restaurant! "Where could they be?" Mabel wondered out loud.

"If you are referring to the young man with Ms. Northwest they left about five minutes ago," one of the waiters informed her.

"Which way did they go?" Mabel demanded.

"They went that way," the waiter pointed. Mabel thanked the waiter for his assistance and then headed off.

Thanks to Waddles's nose they soon tracked them to the park where Dipper and Pacifica were sitting on a bench. Ducking into some nearby bushes, which were only about five feet away, Mabel continued to observing them through her binoculars. At first she wasn't sure what they were doing until she noticed that they were watching this rather beautiful sunset. The setting was so romantic that Mabel couldn't help but get caught up in the mood.

"Come on Dipper make your move," Mabel whispered. "Wait what am I saying!" she gagged remembering who Dipper was with.

"You know all things considering this wasn't a bad date," Pacifica said. "It'll rate a D-."

"Huh," Dipper gasped. "Why so low?"

"All you did was take me shopping and dinner," Pacifica pointed out. "Not only that you made me pay for everything!"

"But, but you're the one who took me to those places," Dipper argued. "And I told you I didn't have any money!"

"Yes about that," Pacifica pondered for a bit. "We're going to have to do something about light wallet of yours. Ok so how much does your uncle pay you?"

"Pay me, he says that giving us room and board is our payment," Dipper scoffed. "What little money I get is from when he bribes me!"

The wheels in Pacifica's head began turning. This revelation could work in her favor. "Alright then starting tomorrow you'll be working for me," she suddenly announced.

"WHAT! NO WAY! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Mabel screamed as she jumped out of the bush.

"Mabel," Pacifica sneered. "I didn't know you were there," she said in a sarcastic tone since she totally knew that Mabel was hiding there.

"Of course you didn't, I'm **camouflage**." Mabel stressed pointing to her camouflage sweater and helmet. "And there's no way my brother will work for you!" Mabel said not wanting Dipper to spend any more time with Pacifica than he had to.

"Hey I'm just trying helping him out here," Pacifica said. "Besides if he wants to date Wendy he's going to need some cash in his pockets."

"He doesn't need your help to date Wendy, he just needs to be himself!" Mabel insisted.

"Be himself," Pacifica laughed. "That's just what lazy school councilors and disinterested psychiatrists say because they don't want to help people deal with their problems. Anyway it's not you call to make!" Both girls then turned to Dipper who was wishing he was somewhere anywhere else right now. Mabel staring at him with wide pleading eyes and Pacifica looking almost like a snake ready to strike. Dipper quickly ran the pros and cons in his head.

-Pros-  
getting some money to date Wendy  
finding out Pacifica's plan and stopping it

-Cons-  
disappointing Mabel again  
Wendy getting the wrong idea if she sees him and Pacifica together

Dipper gulped as he made his decision. It was a desperate gamble but if he plays his cards right then things might work out. "Alright Pacifica I'll work for you." Mabel's jaw dropped in shock while Pacifica silently cheered at her victory. "But under one condition! You have to be a little more friendlier to Mabel."

"What!" both girls screamed on utter disbelief. The two girls glared at each other before Mabel sighed sadly and extended her hand. "Truce," she offered with a smile. Despite the animosity between them, Mabel doesn't hold a grudge against Pacifica and really wants to be friends with her. Pacifica on the other hand hates Mabel with a passion, but if she didn't agree to this it will jeopardize her plans! "Truce," Pacifica cringed as she shook Mabel's hand.

"So are we in agreement then," Dipper smiled as he placed a point on his side of his mental scoreboard.


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

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"Come on Dipper other people have to use the bathroom too," Mabel complained as she knocked on the door. "It's about time!" she griped as the door opened.

"Sorry Mabel, but today is my first day working for Pacifica and I need to look good," Dipper said still combing his hair.

"Oh come on Dipper do you really thing she's going to care how you look?" Mabel said. Dipper looked dumbfounded at his sister statement. "Yeah that sounded stupid even to me," she admitted immediately afterwards.

Dipper made his way down stairs when he overheard Stan yelling at someone.

"Hey this is a store not a hang out joint!" Gruncle Stan complained. "Either buy something or leave!"

Dipper had a sneaky suspicion who his Gruncle is talking to and just as he feared, he saw Robbie in the gift shop flirting with Wendy. "What's going on here?" Dipper asked casually.

"Hey Dipper," Wendy greeted. "I just heard that you guys captured some kind of war criminal the other day."

"We didn't catch any war criminals," Dipper said in confusion.

"Really they say it was at that one Italian restaurant, dam I forgot the name," Wendy said smacking her head trying to remember.

"Yeah dude, it says it here in the Gossiper that you guys were there," Soos said holding up the article.

Dipper eyes widen as he recalled seeing a police car at the restaurant, realizing that's why they were there in the first place. Add in the fact that Mabel was following him the whole time; he didn't want to believe it but it seems that she did it all on her own. "Wow, I can't believe I actually missed that," Dipper accidentally said out loud.

"Wait if you weren't there to look for the criminal they why were you there?" Wendy asked.

"Yeah, it's not like you were on a date or something?" Robbie laughed. Insinuating that it is impossible for Dipper to get a date.

"Actually, that's exactly why he was there!" Mabel said appearing out of nowhere. Wearing her bathrobe style sweater, and still dripping wet since she just got out of the shower. It always creeps Dipper out how she just happens to show up during the most impromptu times.

"Dipper you were on a date!" Wendy said excitedly. "Well don't keep us in suspense! Give us the details!"

"Wait let me guess, she's your fat cousin who just came down to visit!" Robbie laughed.

"Actually he was with me," Pacifica said as she entered the Mystery 'S'hack. Everyone's jaw dropped at her announcement.

"Pacifica you're here!" Mabel said happily as she ran up to give her former nemesis a hug.

"It's good to see you too Mabel," Pacifica said with a twitch. Having to endure being hugged by Mabel was bad enough but Pacifica also had to hold in the urge to criticize her wardrobe. I mean seriously a bathrobe sweater! But she had to maintain appearances for her revenge to work.

"Dipper you sly dog, you scored a date Pacifica Northwest," Wendy praised while nudging him.

"How the hell did this KID manage that?" Robbie complained.

"Oh Dipper is very charming," Pacifica said as she broke out of Mabel's hug. "He's also quite mature for his age, intelligent, and an excellent conversationalist."

"Oh yeah don't I know it," Wendy agreed. The girls were soon engage in girl talk and to Dipper's surprise, Pacifica was actually putting a good word for him. Wendy even jokingly stated that she might be tempted to date Dipper as well. Giving him hope, while at the same time irritating Robbie!

"Excuse miss Northwest, but this is a store not a hang out! So buy something or leave!" Robbie repeating what Stan said to him moments ago. "I can't believe that little squirt is dating her!" he mumbled under his breath.

"Fine I'm just here to pick up Dipper," Pacifica said.

"WHAT!" everyone gasped. "You two are going out again?"

No, no nothing like that," Pacifica insisted. "He just promised to help me out with a few errands for the next couple of days."

"Absolutely not!" Stan yelled. "Sorry missy but Dipper here is on the clock! You two will just have to wait until after hours!"

"Well I hate to break it to you but he's already agreed to this," Pacifica said.

"Yeah well I didn't and while he lives under my roof, he works for me!" Stan said sternly.

"Here's a twenty," Pacifica said waving the bill in front of Stan's face.

"You're crazy if you think that's going to work on me," Stan said. A second later he made a desperate grab for the money. Anticipating this, Pacifica pulled the money out of his reach causing him to lose his balance and fall flat on the floor. "So we have a deal?"

"Fine," Stan grumbled. "Looks like you're working for little miss snooty over there for the weekend." Pacifica smiled in triumphant as she tossed the twenty at his general direction. Once again Stan frantically tried to catch the bill floating in midair only to crash into some of his displays.

"Nice one kid," Wendy complimented giving Pacifica a thumbs up. "Toss him an extra fifty and he might marry you two off."

"Let me guess, that's coming out of my pay." Dipper quoted.

"Don't worry Dipper dear. With the amount I'm paying you, you won't even miss it!" Pacifica reassured him.

Dipper gulped nervously. Being a twelve year old, he's never had more than a ten dollars in his pockets. So he couldn't even begin to fathom how much she's paying him to make twenty dollars seem like chump change! Worse what is she planning on having him do for it?

"Well time's a wasting," Pacifica said as she grabbed Dipper's arm leading him outside.

"Ooo, Can I come too?" Mabel asked jumping in front of them.

"Oh I'm so sorry but this is a private thing between me and your brother," Pacifica said trying really hard to sound sincere. "But don't worry I'll bring him back to you as soon as possible."

"Yeah dudette," Soos interjected. "You don't want to disturb the young couple."

Mabel wanted to argue but she conceded, nodded sadly. Pacifica grinned with satisfaction after seeing Mabel's dejected look. After saying their goodbyes Pacifica led Dipper to her limo.

"Whoa, who'd have thought that our little (big) Dipper would be dating the coolest girl in town," Wendy said with admiration.

"You really think Pacifica is cool?" Mabel asked.

"Oh yeah she's the best!" Wendy praised without a hint of sarcasm or deception in her voice. Mabel stared after the limo with confusion. She'd always looked up to Wendy as a big sister figure and values her opinion a great deal. But Pacifica has always been rude and insulting ever since they first met. Even now Mabel can't help but still feel something off about her. So the fact that Wendy seems to think rather highly of Pacifica is causing Mabel to question Wendy's character for the first time.

"That went well," Pacifica said as her limo drove off.

"Yeah thanks for making me look good in front of Wendy," Dipper said sounding a little disappointed.

"What's the matter?" Pacifica asked. "You seem distraught."

"Nothing, it's just that Robbie seemed even more annoyed with me than usual," Dipper explained. He thought Robbie would be ecstatic that Dipper was with another girl, ergo not going after Wendy. That way Robbie wouldn't keep threatening to kill him whenever he tries to hang out with Wendy.

"Oh he's just jealous that you have one upped him," Pacifica said.

"Huh?"

"He may be dating Wendy, the girl of your and his affections, but she is still just an Average Jane. Where as you are dating the one of the richest and most popular girl in town. So as of right now your social standings are much higher than his. And that's something his teenage male macho ego can't accept." Pacifica explained.

Dipper has seen enough teen sitcoms to have a general understanding about how this whole 'social status' thing worked, and knows that people can rise in popularity by dating those on the 'A' list. So he could see what she's saying to a degree. But it just seems like a hollow victory especially since Wendy had no problem about him dating someone else. Making his goal even more impossible than ever before.


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

.

Dipper sat patiently as Pacifica rummaged through the closet at the servants' quarters . "Where is it?" she griped before pulling out a small suit. "Ah here we go," handing it to him. "Now put those on."

Dipper looked cynically at the clothes, "What is this?"

"Your uniform of course," She answered. "Starting today you will be my personal butler!"

Dipper gagged before shaking his head. "No way absolutely not! Look I'll be your butler or whatever you want; but there's no way and no amount of money you can pay me that's ever going to get me to wear this monkey suit!" Dipper said holding up the uniform with a stern and serious expression on his face.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Jeeves entered the room. "Excuse me madam but I just wanted to inform you that lunch will be ready soon." he informed her.

"And what are we having?" she asked.

"Baked Salmon, with manhattan clam chowder, and club sandwiches," Jeeves reported. "Will your guest be joining us as well?"

"Oh that depends on him," Pacifica said glancing at Dipper.

Just then they all heard a loud rumbling noise coming from Dipper's stomach. "Like I was saying where can I change?" he asked, though his expression remains unchanged. Money may not work on Dipper like it does his gruncle; but apparently food does!

Pacifica smiled as she pointed to the bathroom. As Dipper left she let out an little giggle. "You know Jeeves, I don't care what my teacher says a man's brain is definitely in his stomach."

"As you say," Jeeves said with a hint of irritation at her comment before leaving.

A few minutes later Dipper stepped out wearing the butler uniform along with his ball cap. "The hat stays," he insisted still with the same facial expression as when he went in.

"Fine, fine," Pacifica said deciding to let him have at least that much. "Aw don't you look adorable," she teased hearing that he really hates being called adorable. Dipper sulked as he pulled his hat down covering his face. Pacifica gigged at his reaction finding it kind of funny how different the Pines twins are. Where as Mabel is an idiot, Dipper is smart. While Mabel is painfully annoying, she finds Dipper pleasantly amusing. If things were different she might have liked him. Pacifica almost felt bad that she's going to have to hurt him. Almost!

After another wonderful meal, Pacifica gave Dipper a tour of her estate giving him a brief history of everything in her house as well as what she expects him to do. It was simple enough clean a few rooms, bring stuff to and from storage, deliver messages, nothing he can't handle. As they continued on Dipper noticed a huge well decorated double doors. "Hey Pacifica what's in here?"

"That is my family's trophy room," she said proudly as she unlocked the doors. Inside it was filled with stuffed animals, medals, statues of her family members, and the party crown. None of which caught his attention except one, a stuffed bear with multiple heads! "That's my grandfather's greatest trophy," Pacifica explained after she noticed how interested Dipper seemed at it.

"Is this a real multi-bear?" Dipper asked.

Pacifica laughed, "A multi-bear, you actually believe those exist. No, my grandfather hunted a lot of bears in his time. Of course this was before we had this huge mansion. So in order to save space he just had them stuffed into one big trophy."

Dipper was starting to feel sick. That explanation would make sense for most people, but Dipper met and befriended a multi-bear not too long ago and he couldn't help but feel that this one might have been a relative of his. Of course not that he'd tell her since there's no way she'd believe him other than bringing her to see the magical creature herself. Which is something he would never consider doing. Well maybe.

"I'm sure you'd love to hear more of my family's accomplishments but we do have a schedule," she reminded him. As they left the trophy room the ran into Pacifica's parents.

"Why hello Daughter," Mr. Northwest greeted as Pacifica and Dipper approached them. "Who's your ugh guest?"

"Father this is Dipper Pines," Pacifica introduced. "I was just thinking of having him as my personal butler."

"Him," her father said skeptically. "But he's so small."

"And scrawny," her mother added.

"And not very dignified," her parents scoffed at the same time.

"Hey!" Dipper protested but Pacifica jumped in front him.

"Oh don't worry I'll make sure to shape him up," Pacifica promised.

"Alright just make sure you go easy on him. You don't want to break him like the others." her father said with a rather haunting laugh.

"Oh course father," Pacifica laughing as well.

"Hey Pacifica what's that all about and what does he mean by break?" Dipper demanded.

"Oh nothing it's just that some couldn't handle being my personal butler," she said with a sinister smile.

"I wonder why," he said sarcastically but at the same time fearing for his life.


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

.

Pacifica laid comfortably sunbathing next to her pool. Not too far from her Dipper was hard at work, while at the same time trying not to get distracted by the skimpy two piece swimsuit she was wearing. "Dipper you look tired why don't you join me for a glass of lemonade," she offered pouring a glass.

"No thanks I'm fine," Dipper lied. Truthfully he was parch from working so hard but he didn't want to give Pacifica the satisfaction.

"Alright, then go down into the basement and get these things for me," she ordered handing him a list of items. Dipper groaned as he left to get what she asked.

"Excuse my lady," Jeeves interrupted her relaxing.

"This better be important!" Pacifica snapped.

"While the Maids were laundering the young man's clothes when they found this book in his vest," Jeeves said showing her the Book 3.

"Just leave it here I'll make sure he gets it back!" Pacifica said feeling rather annoyed that her lounging time was being interrupted for something so trivial. Jeeves placed the book on the table next to her lemonade and left. She tried once again to relax and soak up some rays. Only she can't because now all she can think about is that darn book! Letting her curiosity get the better of her, she began flipping through the pages.

"Hey Pacifica, I got all the stuff you wanted," Dipper said as he arrived carrying a box full of junk. "What do you even want this want for anyway?"

"Oh for a party I'm planning," Pacifica said still flipping through the book. "Geez Dipper are you really into this stuff? Man you're going require more work than I thought."

Dipper quickly noticed the book she was reading. "Hey that's mine!" he cried making a desperate grab for the book.

Just like with his Gruncle Stan, Pacifica yanked the book out of his reach causing him to fall. "Hey that was pretty rude, besides what's so special about this book anyway?" she said cynically, turning another page. Just then she paused, her expression became very serious almost spiteful. "I see so this is how you found out about my ancestor!" she said finding the section about her family being a fake.

Dipper gulped nervously. "So can I have my book back? Please."

Pacifica stared angrily at him. The feelings of rage and humiliation she felt when he showed her those documents erupted in a fiery fury. "YOU WANT YOUR PRECIOUS BOOK BACK, WELL HERE TAKE IT!" Pacifica yelled as she began beat him to death with the book! Laughing manically as Dipper's blood began gushing out with every hit, painting everything red! At least in her imagination. As much as she would love to smash his skull in such behavior would be beneath her. Besides now it seems that she had just found a new and interesting weapon to use against him. She could already see in his eyes that he is willing to fight for it, so why not have a little fun. "You want this back then how about we play for it," Pacifica suggested pointing to the table.

Dipper saw that this was one of those tables that had a chess board designed into it. While he is confident of his chess skills he also didn't trust her. "So I get the book back if I win?" he asked.

"Not only the book but I'll invite Wendy to my party and arrange for you two have some alone time," Pacifica said seductively.

"And if you win," Dipper said warily.

"I keep the book and you'll only be allowed to read it when you are wearing that uniform," Pacifica said.

"So I might end up being your servant for life," Dipper figured. 'High stakes' he thought to himself. "I don't suppose you can just give me the book back?"

"Where's the fun in that, but fine I'll give it back to you at the end of the summer. In fact I'll even promise you that it will be in mint condition when I return it." Pacifica taunted.

Dipper groaned even if she returned the book like she said; at the end of summer he and Mabel would be heading home rendering the book almost worthless. Plus the idea of having some alone time with Wendy was just too tempting to resist. "Fine let's play!"

***½ Hour Later***

"Checkmate!" Pacifica said claiming victory.

Dipper just stood there flabbergasted. "Best two out of three!" he demanded.

"Fine, whatever," she agreed as they set up a new game.

*** 1 Hour Later***

"And that's Checkmate!" Dipper cheered placing his piece in front of her king.

Pacifica growled in anger. She, like Dipper, was not accustom to losing and didn't like it at all. "You know we each have one win. So how about we just call it a tie and I'll give you the book if you agree to work for me for the rest of the week." she offered not wanting to risk losing again.

"No way!" Dipper said excitedly over the prospects of actually having a challenge. "I'm in it to win it!"

***4 Hours Later***

The battle was at a stalemate. Both Dipper and Pacifica lost about half their pieces and the ones remaining were pretty much stuck. There was no move either one could make that wouldn't result in another piece getting captured and neither one wanted to lose anymore pieces than they had to. Dipper knew that if he was going to win he will have to take some chances. "Rook takes Pawn," he said making his move.

"Pawn takes Rook," Pacifica responded.

"Bishop takes Pawn."

"Bishop takes Bishop."

Dipper grinned triumphantly, his plan worked. Now his pawn has a clear path to the other end. "Pawn moves to your side and I make it a Queen!" Pacifica was strangely silent as she replaced the Pawn with a Queen. "With my Queen back I'll win in three moves!" he declared.

"But this game has been going on for too long already, so why not I just end it now," Pacifica said as she moved her knight in front of his king jumping over the pawns he set up to protect him. "I believe that is checkmate."

"Wha but how?" Dipper choked not believing what just happened.

"Aw don't you know," Pacifica said in a mocking tone. "Knights can jump over other pieces, this is why they are one of the most important strategic pieces in the game."

Dipper face palmed himself. Because of Mabel's tendency to steal the cute little horsies whenever they play chess, he's never had the chance to really use them. That shortcoming that has just cost him a lot.

"You want to go best five out of seven?" Pacifica asked.

"No I concede," Dipper said tipping over his king as a gesture of defeat. He wanted to challenge her again but that would seem childish at this point.

"Goody," She cheered writing something down on a piece of paper. "You know your quite good. Maybe next time we can just you know play for fun?"

Dipper was taken back by what she just said not expecting her to say anything like that. But truthfully he actually enjoyed playing chess with her and wouldn't mind just having a normal game with no stakes. "I would like that," he said accepting her offer.

"It's getting late now so why don't you go home. And here give this to Wendy when you see her." she instructed handing him the paper.

"What's this?" he asked.

"An invitation to my pool party tomorrow," she answered.

"But I lost the bet," Dipper reminded her.

"Oh your not invited," she informed him. "You're working. Also I'm also booking Robbie's band to perform for my party. But with him busy on stage and her alone on the dance floor; I'm sure you can find time between serving drinks and snacks to sneak in a dance." she said with a wink. Dipper blushed in confusion not sure if she's trying to help him or humiliate him or seduce him. Either way he's sure that this will be an eventful event.

The next day at Pacifica's party

Dipper carefully maneuvered around the guests as he placed his snacks and drinks on the table. He had to admit that she really knew how to throw a party. Everyone looks like they are having so much fun that even Robbie's horrible playing sounds good! Dipper might have actually enjoyed himself here if he wasn't so busy working! No, that's a lie. The servants take shifts during these parties and his wasn't until later. So he had some free time and with Wendy was just standing right over there, alone. Dipper could easily just walk up to her and talk to her then maybe...

"Hey Dipper great party huh," Wendy called out breaking his train of thought.

"Wendy, having fun?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah but what's with the monkey suit," she asked pointing to his butler uniform.

"Oh I'm working right now," Dipper answered.

"Helping out your gal-pal huh," Wendy said sweetly. "That is so adorable."

Dipper blushed, while he hates being called adorable by most people. He doesn't really mind it when it's Wendy. "You know I got some time before my next shift so how...how...how..."

"Hey Dipper if you got time how about a dance?" Wendy asked.

"Wha?" Dipper choked shocked that she's the one who suggested it first.

"Ah come on I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't mind if we had one dance," Wendy said. Dipper was feeling like he was in heaven as they made their way to the dance floor when suddenly all the lights went out!

"DADDY what's going on!" Pacifica demanded.

"Sorry Daughter we're looking into it right now," her father reassured her. "Why hasn't that emergency generator kicked in yet?" A couple minutes later the power came back on and the party resumed. Dipper was getting ready for his dance with Wendy when he saw a strange creature running around and entering the mansion.

"Hey Dipper are we going to dance or what?" Wendy ask.

Dipper was tempted oh how he was tempted but right now that strange creature took precedence. "Sorry Wendy but I've got something I have to do first," he said leaving Wendy very confused. "Hey Pacifica where are you?" he called out.

"Yeah what is it?" she asked standing right next to him. "I thought you were going to dance with your sweet heart." Apparently she's been watching him the whole time.

"Pacifica I need my book," Dipper demanded. "I think I know why we've had that blackout and if I don't fix it we will have more!" The moment he said that the power went out again. Followed by people complaining how this is the worst party ever.

"Fine here," she said snapping her fingers. A second later one of her posse arrived with the book.

"Thanks," Dipper said finding Pacifica's control over people both frightening and cool at the same time. He made his way through the mansion and just as he suspected he found them in the backup generator room.

"AAAAHHhhh!" he heard a girl screaming behind him. "What are those grotesque things!" Pacifica demanded.

"What are you doing here?" Dipper asked. "Never mind. Anyway those are gremlins," he explained flipping through his book. Showing her a picture of these strange catlike creatures with gigantic ears. "They love messing with machinery, the more advance the more they like to break it. I guess they especially like your house since it is the most technological in town."

"But why now? We've never had problems with them before." Pacifica said.

"According to this book they usually disappear for a month after being chased away," Dipper read. "So what do you normally do every month that might chase away gremlins."

"We just have a party like what we're doing now," Pacifica said.

"Okay so what's different about this party?" Dipper wondered.

Nothing really except I didn't set the karaoke machine this time," Pacifica said.

"The karaoke machine?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah since I hired that boy's band I figured there was no point to having it out," Pacifica said.

"You sing whenever you have it set up don't you?" Dipper asked recalling something Mabel told him during her first sleep over party.

"Of course!" Pacifica answered confirming his suspicions.

"Look Pacifica I need you to sing right now as high as you can," Dipper ordered.

"I can't just sing without music," Pacifica protested.

"DO IT NOW!" Dipper yelled.

"Fine," Pacifica said rolling her eyes not sure where he's going with this. Pacifica starting singing, as she reached the end of the song she finished on a high note. High enough to break plastic! Just as Dipper surmise, because of their oversized ears gremlins don't like high pitch sounds at all and soon ran off! "What just happened?" she asked after seeing those creatures running off.

"Pacifica don't you see it's your singing. That's what drives away the gremlins every month. You've been protecting this town without even knowing it!" Dipper exclaimed.

Pacifica wasn't sure if she should be insulted or flattered about his comments about her singing but before she could respond her father and a maintenance worker showed up. "Daughter what's going on around here?" her father asked.

"Oh uh father Dipper here was just fixing our electrical problem," Pacifica said quickly.

"We'll just see about that," her father said as he turned to Dipper. "Well go ahead and fix it." Dipper gulped and turned on the circuit breaker. With the gremlins gone there was nothing stopping the system form working and the power was restored. "How is that this little boy is able to fix something you can't?" Mr. Northwest asked the maintenance man. "Never mind just get your worthless hide out of here!" he ordered. The maintenance man looked like he was on the verge of crying as he left. "Well young man it seems that my daughter has chosen well when she picked you to be her butler. Here take this a show of my appreciation," Mr. Northwest said handing him a fifty dollar bill.

"Thank you sir," Dipper said accepting the money.

"Come on Dipper we have a party to get back to," Pacifica reminded him.

Thanks to him restoring the power the party was once again in full swing. Dipper was looking forward to his dance with Wendy. Except that his shift just started. Dipper soon found himself running around delivering drinks and snacks to people, cleaning up the messes, and tending to their needs. He was so busy that he didn't even see Wendy for the remainder of the party! After the party was over he found her congratulating Robbie on his performance with a kiss!

"What's wrong Dipper?" Pacifica asked seeing him just standing like a statue. Dipper slowly raised his hand and pointed to Wendy and Robbie. "So what they are just kissing," she said like it was no big deal.

'Just kissing!" Dipper snapped. "How can you say that? This means that their relationship is official! That I have no chance now!" Dipper lowered his head in defeat.

"Don't be so dramatic a kiss is just a kiss. It's no different than a handshake or hug." she insisted. Then without warning Pacifica pressed her lips on his. "There you see it's just a kiss," she said proving her point. "It's getting late, you should be heading back home now," Pacifica said as she back into her house.

Dipper just stood there in utter shock at what just happened. Not because Pacifica just stole his first kiss, well partly because of that, but mainly because he really didn't feel anything from it. No sparks, no increased heartbeat, no magical feeling of being lighter than air, no nothing! It's just as she said. It really felt no different than when he's shaking hands with Soos, or when Gruncle Stan gives him affectionate nogging, or even when he and Mabel have their awkward sibling hugs. He can't help but wonder if she's right, that kisses were nothing special? If so then would kissing Wendy be just as hollow and empty as kissing Pacifica? Dipper made his way out of the estate after changing back into his usual clothes still distraught over what happened. When he ran into Wendy outside.

"Hey Dipper," Wendy greeted.

"Wendy, what are you doing here?" Dipper asked.

"Oh just waiting for a ride. There wasn't enough room for all of us and the instruments so one of us had to stay behind. And well I lost the draw." She explained.

"You know I got paid for working today. I'm sure I can get us a ride. And maybe grab a bite to eat." Dipper offered.

"Sure why not," Wendy accepted. "Beats just waiting out here all day." As the two walked down the road Dipper notice that just standing next to her felt more magical than kissing Pacifica. This made him feel hopeful that maybe Pacifica was wrong, and maybe he might still have a chance with Wendy.

Back in her room Pacifica was rinsing her mouth with a whole bottle of mouthwash along with brushing her teeth with half a tube of toothpaste! She couldn't believe that she did that! While she knew that she was going to have to kiss Dipper at some point, she didn't think that she would do it on impulse and in that situation! Not only that she kinda enjoyed it. 'NO!' she mentally screamed. He's suppose to fall in love with me not the other way around! In the middle of her tantrum she saw outside her window Dipper and Wendy walking together. As the two disappeared from view, Pacifica couldn't help but feel envious and a sense of longing. But what was she worried about. Wendy will never return his feelings and as long as she has the Book 3, he will always come back to her. Right?


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS  
A/N: Story Idea Inspired by CMR Rosa  
**

"Ah thanks man for treating me to dinner, Dipper!" Wendy thanked as she took a bite out of her burger. "That fancy stuff they had at that party was good and all but it wasn't very filling!"

"Yeah never could understand fancy food myself," Dipper lied. Ever since he started working for Pacifica he's developed a taste for the rich foods that he never thought that he would ever get the chance to try. But of course since Wendy doesn't like them he doesn't as well. At least for right now.

"But I must say your gal-pal pays you really well," Wendy said after taking another bite. "I don't suppose you could hook me up with a job?"

"Well Pacifica runs a tight ship I doubt she'd hire someone who likes to slack off as much as you," Dipper quickly stuffed his mouth with food realizing that he just said something insulting that might have offended her.

"Yeah that's probably why I'm still at the Mystery Shack," Wendy laughed. Dipper breathed a sigh of relief that Wendy wasn't upset about his remark. "Hey Dipper you got a little something over there," Wendy told him pointing to her face.

Dipper quick began wiping the general area on his face. "Did I get it?"

"No, no it's over there," Wendy pointed. "Here let me get it." she said getting ready to wipe his face with a napkin.

"No, no I've got it," Dipper blushed with embarrassment. There's no way he's going to let Wendy wipe his face like some baby.

"Oh don't be such a baby," Wendy said sweetly as she began wiping his face. "Hum stubborn little stain here. Let's try this." Then to Dipper's surprise she licked the side of his face! But that wasn't the end of it, she tilted his head and gave him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips. Dipper closed his eyes, savoring ever second. Feeling the warmth and love that he didn't get from kissing Pacifica. After awhile Wendy pull out of the kiss and Dipper slowly opened his eyes only to find to his horror, Pacifica standing in front of him!

"A kiss is just a kiss," Pacifica preached as she began laughing cruelly at him. The sounds of her laughter echoed in his mind, affecting him right into his core! Dipper cupped his ears begging for her to stop!

* * *

Dipper gasped opening his eyes! Then breathing a sigh of relief, realizing that it was only a dream. Looking at the clock he could see that it was only 1:30 in the morning. Across from him Mabel still slept soundly. Dipper tried to go back to sleep but his anxieties prevented him from doing so. Not wanting to disturb his sister, Dipper made his way the to the goofing off spot. Lucky for him there's still one can of soda left. After popping it open Dipper took a long gulp hoping that it could help him relax. As he drank he recalled what really happened after the party. He and Wendy manage to get a ride to the diner but just as their food arrived Manly Dan showed up to take his daughter home. Not wanting to leave Dipper alone, and feeling a little peckish himself, he joined them for dinner. Effective destroying Dipper's chances of making this his first real date. Not that it mattered because the whole time all he could think about was the kiss. "Yeah Pacifica's lips felt just like that," he said softly tracing the rim of the can. "And why am I thinking about that!"

"So how's your first kiss?" Tyrone's ghostly voice suddenly spoke into his ear.

"Tyrone! Give a guy a little warning before you do that!" Dipper yelped. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Hey I'm a ghost, it's my job to spook and scare," Tyrone pointed out. "Anyways that's besides the point. I warned you not to underestimate her! And now she has the book!"

"Look is this going to be an I told you so visit," Dipper pouted. "Because if it is then you might as well just disappear now. I feel bad enough as it is!"

Tyrone sighed, "Look Dipper I won't say I told you so, even though I did just now, but really you are in over your head. How are you planing to deal with this?"

"I don't know," Dipper admitted, "don't suppose you have any suggestions?"

"Hey maybe you can use your charm to get her to fall in love with you so she'll give you the book back," Tyrone suggested.

"Really," Dipper said cynically.

"Sorry man, but I'm just a spirit guide and to be honest Pacifica scares me," Tyrone cringed. "But don't worry I have faith in you man. Just hang in there." Tyrone smiled giving him the thumbs up as he faded away again. Dipper sighed sadly as he finished off the last of his soda.

Dipper wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping that night. Miles away at the Gleeful residence Lil Gideon sat at his desk going through his Number 2 Book. "I can't believe it!" Gideon snapped. "A whole book of magical trinkets and monsters and there's nothing here that can help me get the Mystery Shack!" After his little tantrum he went over to his model of the shack.

"_Don't give up Gideon I'm still waiting for you to come rescue me,"_ Gideon squeaked playing with the Mabel doll. "Never fear my sweet! I'll never give up, I shall prevail somehow! This I swear!" Gideon laughed manically until his stomach rumbled. "But first a midnight snack." Gideon made his way to the kitchen where he found his father making a sandwich.

'Hey Gideon you want to join me for a little night time munchies and tv?" His father cheerfully asked.

"No I don't want to join you!" Gideon snapped. "But I do want that sandwich." he said in his sweet voice. Buddy happily complied cutting his sandwich in half and giving some to his son. "So what are you watching?"

"Oh it's this documentary about perfume," Buddy said.

"Perfume huh," Gideon said with interest. Not for himself but he knew that girls tend to go gaga for that stuff. _"And some forms of perfume were believed to be some type of aphrodisiac..."_ the narrator went on. "Hey dad what's an aphrodisiac?" Gideon asked in his innocent childlike voice.

"Well it's sort of, a kind of, uh..." Buddy trying to find the right words to explain.

"Spill it old man!" Gideon snarled.

"To put it simply a love potion," Buddy finally said.

"Love potion," Gideon pondered for a second before running back to his room. Flipping through the pages of his Book 2 he stopped at this one page he kept overlooking. "Ah here we go. 'This strange flower only blooms once every ten years, but it seems that the scent it creates acts as a powerful aphrodisiac.' To think that I had the answer this whole time if only I knew what that word meant. Guess I should have paid more attention at school, oh well. Just you wait Mabel soon you will be mine!" Gideon laughed manically.

The following morning Gideon grumbled and complained as he trekked through the woods. He hated coming out here but the prize is worth it. "Ah there you are my pretty," Gideon grinned as he stood before the plant in his book. And just as it said today was the day it would bloom. "Pretty flowers but how do I know that you will work?" Gideon wondered. Just then a Deer approached the flower getting ready to eat it. Then a puma showed up wanting to eat the deer! As the two creatures got close to the flower they started sniffing the blossoms. Gideon stood in wonder as the two animals had hearts in their eyes and ran off together. "So I'm guessing it does work!" Breaking out his trademark Lil Gideon gasmask, after all he didn't want to be affected himself, he slowly approached the flowers and picked every single one of them.

Quickly heading home he brought the flowers to his room where he had his official Lil Gideon chemistry set all set up. Carefully following the instructions, he mixed a small bottle of perfume. "Alright now to test it," he said as he went over to this cage with a parrot and a small rat inside. Spraying both with the perfume. Just like with the deer and the puma, the rat and parrot soon had hearts in their eyes and began hugging. "Yes! Mabel I'm coming for you my sweet!" Gideon cheered as he ran out his house.

Miles away at the Mystery 'S'hack, Mabel felt a cold chill run up her spine. "Brr, hey Soos did you tamper with the AC again it's freezing in here and I'm wearing a sweater!"

"I'll look into it pint size," Soos promised.

"Weird I feel fine," Dipper commented. Until Pacifica and her cronies barged into the store. "And now I'm not."

"Hey Pacifica what brings you here?" Mabel asked trying to sound friendly.

"Yeah I mean I'm not due to be at your place until later," Dipper said nervously.

"Oh Dipper it's nothing I just wanted to have a game with you before work," Pacifica said in her usual haughty tone.

"A game?" Gruncle Stan scoffed at the little girl. "Sorry missy but my nephew is way behind in his work. Especially since you've already been taking too much of his time already."

Pacifica snapped her fingers and one of her girls brought out a fancy looking chess set. "Victorian Chess set, hand carved ivory with gold lining." Pacifica said showing off the beautifully made pieces. "Yours if your nephew can beat me. If not I get him for an additional week."

"Ha you think I'm going to jump in like that," Stan laughed, but then quickly pulled Dipper of to the side. "You can beat her right?" he whispered.

"Well I did beat her once," Dipper said softly. "But I lost twice!" he quickly added though he hated admitting it.

"Good enough for me. Ok game on!" Stan declared.

They cleared a space on the table and the two participants set up their side and the battle for the board began. Off to the side Mabel was going her best to cheer her brother until everyone told her to be quiet.

***1 Hour Later***

Everyone held their breaths as Dipper captured Pacifica's queen. Soos happy whispering play by plays like he's some kind of announcer using a hot dog as his microphone. Taking a bite every time one of the pieces gets captured.

***Another Hour Later After That***

Wendy started yawning. She prefers games with a little more noise and action so chess really isn't her thing. How she wishes that she could go to her goofing off spot but with everyone here there's no way she could sneak off. Still Dipper does look kind of cute and cool when he's concentrating so hard. Makes him seem more mature.

***2 More Hours of Exciting Chess Action Later***

Mabel sat on the couch snoring loudly, unable to handle so much excitement. And she wasn't the only one Gruncle Stan went over to the living room to watch his British soap operas, Pacifica's goons were criticizing the cheap merchandise in the store (even though they bought a couple of shirts and ear rings), Wendy just sat at the register like a statue, even Soos stopped announcing the game and started narrating himself making a sandwich.

***Much More Time Passes (sorry {yawn} even I lost track of time)***

"I don't believe it!" Pacifica screamed catching everyone's attention.

"What is it over?" Mabel asked rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Who won? Please be the boy, please be the boy!" Gruncle Stan whispered with his fingers crossed.

"So now we approach the conclusion of this exciting game," Soos announced now using his sandwich as his new microphone.

They all gathered around and saw that chess board had only two pieces left. Both Pacifica and Dipper only had their Kings still in play.

"So what does that mean?" Mabel asked tilting her head.

"It means a draw," Wendy explained. "Kings cannot capture another King."

"Does this mean that they're going to play again," Mabel complained.

"Of course!" Both Pacifica and Dipper said at the same time, eyeing each other with contempt. Causing everyone in the room to groan at the twos competitive spirit. At that point they all heard a knock at the door after which Gideon then came crashing in.

"Hey everybody it's Little ol me," he announced.

"What are you doing here you snot nose little troll?" Stan grunted. After having to endure that chess match he was feeling a bit cranky.

"Oh Stanford I'm just here to give your lovely niece a gift," Gideon said holding up pretty little wrapped up box with a cute bow. "This isn't some nefarious scheme against your family," he insisted.

"Ugh Gideon what do you want?" Mabel asked after hearing her name.

"Here as a token of my affection," Gideon said handing her the present. Mabel eyed it suspiciously before opening it. "It is a rare and valuable perfume made from a special flower that I had custom made just for you my sweet." Gideon explained.

"Rare and Valuable Perfume huh," Pacifica said grabbing the bottle from Mabel. "It'll be shame to have it wasted on you," Pacifica laughed as she started spraying it on herself.

"Pacifica are we playing or what?" Dipper called out to her.

"Fine I'm coming!" Pacifica said tossing the bottle to one of her posse. As the scent of the perfume kicked in her eyes became like hearts as she gently floated over to Dipper's side. "Say instead of chess how about we do something more interesting Dipper darling?"

"No actually I just want to play chess," Dipper said feeling a little weirded out by Pacifica new attitude.

"Alright ," Pacifica pouted as they resumed their game. As the game continued Dipper quickly noticed that Pacifica wasn't playing up to par. It was too easy, in fact it was almost like playing with Mabel. Even more odd was that Pacifica's henchgirls have suddenly became Dipper fangirls! "Ooh he just captured another piece," one of the girls cheered. "Yes he's unstoppable!" the other said.

"You know I think I need to go to the bathroom!" Dipper cried wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"I'll come with you!" one of the girls said grabbing his arm. "No I'll take him!" the other insisted grabbing his other arm. "Hey girls, let him go this instant!" Pacifica ordered. But her two underlings refuse to listen to her, one even stuck her tongue out at her.

Dipper wasn't the only one who noticed the girls strange behavior. Gideon stood there in amazement seeing how effective the perfume was working and figuring that this is his big chance to finally get Mabel! He snuck over to where the perfume bottle was and quickly picked it up.

"Hey Gideon!" Mabel called out startling him. "What are you doing?"

"Oh Mabel," Gideon started sweating. "Nothing just getting your present back." showing her the perfume bottle. "You want to try some?"

"No way, anything from you is always trouble," Mabel shook her head.

"Ah come on I'm sure your view will change after one little whiff," Gideon said rather sinisterly as he sprayed the perfume right into Mabel's eyes. "Oops, uh sorry Mabel!"

"Aaah! MY EYES!" Mabel screamed in pain stepping backwards, accidentally bumping into someone.

"Hey watch where your going you clumsy oaf!" Pacifica said.

"Sorry my fault," Mabel apologized as she opened her eyes. Getting a good whiff of the perfume along with a good look at Pacifica. "Whoa, Pacifica I never realized how beautiful your hair looks." Mabel swooned playing with Pacifica's hair. Gideon facepalmed himself at this outcome.

"Yes it's about time to realized that but please let go," Pacifica said trying to get out of Mabel's grip. "I need to get those two away from my Dipper!"

"Dipper! Dipper! It's always Dipper!" Mabel angrily stomped on the ground. "What about Mabel! I didn't even get to go to your party!" she cried hugging Pacifica tightly.

Pacifica look around the room and saw that Dipper and the two girls heading up stairs. "Alright fine! Help me get those two away from your brother and I'll...I'll...I'll let you spend the night over at my place!" Pacifica promised. Mabel squealed with delightful joy as she and Pacifica ran after Dipper.

"Did any of that seem strange to you?" Wendy said asking no one in particular.

"When those two are involved, nothing really strikes me as strange," Soos commented.

"What so strange about that? Dipper is just a natural ladies man just like I was at his age!" Stan declared.

"Really?" the two said sounding not at all convinced.

"No," Stan admitted. Just then he realized that in all this excitement he forgot to do something important. "Excuse me for a minute while I take out the trash!" One second later he dropped kicked Gideon out of the Mystery 'S'hack!

"Oh you'll pay for that Stanford," Gideon spat as he got back up. "But first I need to refine this so it's not so potent," Gideon said staring at the bottle. "Then Mabel and the Mystery Shack will be mine!" he began laughing manically.

Back inside the bathroom Dipper nervously paced around. Thankfully he was able to convince the girls to give him privacy in the bathroom even though they wanted to go inside with him. "Okay obviously Gideon had something to do about this," Dipper figured since this all started after he arrived. "But what did he do? Man I wish I still had my book!" he said. _"Maybe you can get her to fall in love with you so that she'll give you the book back!"_ Tyrone's suggestion replayed in his mind. Recalling that Pacifica was also acting weird made him wonder if this was his chance. But first he's going to have to lose the goon squad. _"Hey get away from there!"_ He heard Mabel scream on the other side of the door. Followed by the girls screaming in terror and the sound of people running away. Putting his ear against the door, trying to listen in at what's happening on the other side. At first he heard nothing but then a light knocking. "Mabel, is that you?" Dipper whispered opening the door, figuring that his sister is the only one who would knock first, but to his dismay he found Pacifica standing outside!

Pacifica forced her way into the bathroom and then locking the door behind her. "Alone at last," she said with a purr.

"Uh Pacifica if you needed to use the bathroom I should just give you some privacy," Dipper gulped trying to make his way to the door only to have her stand in his way.

"You know Dipper do you know why I came to visit you today?" Pacifica asked as she slowly made her way towards him.

"To play chess," Dipper choked as he backed away.

"That was just an excuse," Pacifica smiled. "Truth is ever since that kiss I couldn't get you out of my mind. And just had to see you again!"

"Pacifica you are not acting like yourself. Gideon must have done something to you and I need my book to help you!" Dipper insisted.

"Your book eh," Pacifica sneered. "As long as I have that you will never leave me. And I will never let that overgrown slacker have you!" Pacifica pushed Dipper against the wall. "If you want the book back promise that you'll be mine and seal it with a kiss." Pacifica leaned forward puckering up her lips.

Dipper struggled to get out of the way but she had him in a very strong grip, and let's face it he's not really all that strong to begin with. As Pacifica drew in closer the smell of the perfume began to affect him as well and soon he wanted to kiss her too. But all struggling he did earlier shook the wall behind him a bit causing one of the bottles in the medicine cabinet to tip over spilling the contents on Pacifica's head.

"Ack what is this stuff!" Pacifica screech sounding like her old self.

"Pacifica are you alright," Dipper asked.

"Fine!" she said pushing him back. "Ugh I can't believe that perfume made me...Gideon!" she screamed remembering who was responsible.

Dipper reached into the medicine cabinet and picked the bottle that spilled on them. "Gruncle Stan's aftershave," he said. "Of course the smell from this must have countered the perfume's!" Dipper deduced. Leaving the bathroom Dipper went after his sister and the two other girls. He immediately splashed the aftershave on them restoring their sanity.

"Now that everyone is back to normal, come on we're leaving!" Pacifica ordered. The two girls didn't question they just followed. "Oh and Dipper I have some urgent business that just came up so I'll give you the day off!" she said as she stormed out of the Mystery 'S'hack.

"I guess we get to keep the chess set," Stan said admiring the hand crafted masterpieces. Just then Pacifica kicked open the door. "He didn't win!" she reminded them all. Gruncle Stan mumbled in protest as he handed the valuable game back to her.

Somewhere in the middle of town Gideon grumbled as he exited the store. "Man what does a guy have to do to get his hands on some illegal chemicals!" He has been going around town trying to find a way to stabilize his perfume but no one would sell him the dangerous chemicals that he needed no matter how cute and charming he made his face appear. Actually they would have sold it to him if they had it, but a small town like Gravity Falls has no reason to stock the type of chemicals that he was looking for. As he rounded the corner a hand reached out, grabbing him, then throwing him against the wall. "Hey don't you know who I, I, I..." Gideon stuttered seeing Pacifica standing over him.

"Hello Gideon, fancy seeing you again so soon," Pacifica greeted.

"Why if it isn't Gravity Fall's sweet heart," Gideon started to sweat. Pacifica is one of the few people in town that not even he would dare offend. "So what can Lil ol me do for you?"

"That perfume you were going to give to Mabel. It made quite a mess of things. In fact it also messed up my own plans, and I want to know where you got it!" Pacifica said.

"Oh I just something I got out of a book," Gideon said trying not to give away too much.

"A book eh," she said with interest. "Tell me this book wouldn't happen to be leather bound journal with a number in a hand print?"

"How did you know?" Gideon gasped. Pacifica opened her jacket revealing Dipper's Book 3. "You have one too!" Gideon's eyes widen with disbelief.

Pacifica smiled, 'so he also has one.' she figured just as much. "Look Gideon I have no interest in these magical trinkets or those hidden monsters living among us. And I don't care about your issues with the Pines! But I do not appreciate being dragged into any of this! Understand?" Gideon nodded. "Good so just to make things clear. I have my own vendetta with them and the last thing I need is you messing things up! So I'll make a deal with you. You stay out of my way and not only will you have Mabel in your clammy little hands but this book as well." she said patting her jacket. "But get in my way again and I swear your next act will be that of a RODEO CLOWN!" she threatened. Gideon frantically nodded in agreement. "Good, we have an understanding," she said letting him go.

"You know missy just a bit advice. Dipper is one sharp cookie I doubt someone like you'll be able to outsmart him." Gideon taunted.

"Oh don't worry about little ol me. I can handle myself." Pacifica grinned snapping her fingers. "And just to remind you," she then pointed to her two cronies holding on to one of the ugliest, slobberious bulldog he'd ever seen.

"What's with the dog?" Gideon asked nervously.

"That is your new girlfriend," Pacifica said waving the bottle of perfume in front of his face. Gideon gasped in horror checking his pockets. Sure enough Pacifica had picked it right out of his pocket. Pacifica grinned as she poured the entire contents onto the dogs face. The dog shook the excess off then got a good look at Gideon. Gideon ran in terror as the love struck mutt with hearts in her eyes chased after him. While Pacifica and her cohorts were enjoying their handy work!


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

Dipper is once again at the Northwest Manor performing whatever task Pacifica wants him to do. Today he's cleaning and reorganizing her father's study. As always in her ongoing attempt to annoy him, she sat at her father's desk reading his Book 3 right in front of him!

"Hey Dipper, so how many of these things have you actually seen?" Pacifica asked curiously.

"Oh I've seen quite a bit!" Dipper perked up immediately. He's always wanted to talk to someone other than Mabel about the things he's seen. "Gnomes, ghosts, gremlins, and a bunch of other things that are not in the book."

"They're probably in the other books," Pacifica said casually.

"Other Books?" Dipper said looking rather puzzled.

Pacifica pointed to the number 3 on the front cover. "Unless this is the guy's weird signature there are at least two other books out there," Pacifica explained. Dipper facepalmed himself in frustration. He couldn't believe that he had overlooked something so obvious! "What you didn't know!" Pacifica laughed. "And I thought you were the smart one. Oh and don't bother looking for one in here. We don't have it." she informed him. Pacifica smiled as she watch him grumbling while he went back to work. She was surprised that he didn't know about the other book and can't help but wonder what would happen if she told him about the one Gideon had. She could almost picture them destroying each other just to have a glimpse of other book, but for now she'll keep this her little secret. After all a girl's got to have a trump card.

"Excuse madam," Jeeves said interrupting her fantasy.

"What is it Jeeves?" Pacifica sounding very annoyed. "This better be important!"

"A Miss Mabel Pines and company are in the dining hall saying that they are here per your invitation," Jeeves reported.

"Invitation?" Pacifica said scratching her head. "Let's see what this is all about." Pacifica and Dipper made their way to the dining hall where they found Mabel and her friends waiting patiently.

"Pacifica!" Mabel jumped excitedly giving her a big hug.

"Mabel," Pacifica sneered. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't you remember you invited me to sleep over," Mabel said.

"When did I..." Pacifica suddenly recalled when she was under that love potion she did promise to let Mabel spend the night over. "Yeah but that was because..."

"And I thought it would be more fun to have more people so I invited Candy and Grenda as well," Mabel said cutting her off.

Pacifica glared at the two girls who were cowering ever since she came in to the room. Normally Pacifica would have chased them out of her house, but she still needed to be on Dipper's good side. Plus if Mabel started to trust her then that would make revenge all the more sweeter when she crushes them. "Fine!" she said causing Mabel to hug her once again. "Dipper get the guest room ready," Pacifica ordered. She had no intention of letting Mabel and her loser friends anywhere near her room!

"Hey Dipping sauce," Mabel greeted her brother. "Nice monkey suit. Are you going to join us as well?"

"What!?" all the girls gasped. "Mabel, you don't invite a boy to a sleep over that's indecent!" Pacifica pointed out.

"Oh please this is my brother we're talking about," Mabel defended. "He won't do anything bad."

"Fine but only if your uncle approves," Pacifica said. Mabel quickly called the Gruncle Stan who was more than delighted to have a quite evening alone. So Dipper was officially invited, but naturally had to sleep in a different room. Also he can't play chess with Pacifica.

The party went on as expected with Mabel being the only one who was enjoying herself. Pacifica sat there murmuring her frustrations at Mabel's antics. Looking like she was on the verge of exploding! Candy and Grenda were too afraid of Pacifica to participate in any activity. As for Dipper, he was pretty much the butler for this party tasked with getting snacks and whatever entertainment the girls wanted. Soon they were all getting ready to go to bed. Everyone just wanted a good night sleep so they can be off on their merry way the next morning. Everyone except Mabel who was still trying to squeeze some last minute fun before they all went to sleep.

"So how's about spin the bottle," Mabel suggested.

"That's only if we have more than one boy here," Pacifica pointed out.

"Okay then how about Truth or Dare," Mabel suggested.

"If we say yes will you promise that this will be the last game," Pacifica asked.

"Great," Mabel cheered. Taking Pacifica's statement as a yes. "I'll go first. Dare!"

"I dare you to keep your mouth shut for the rest of the night," Pacifica said sarcastically.

"Where's the fun in that?" Mabel asked. "D'oh I lost!" Mabel said facepalming herself. "Your turn Pacifica."

"Fine, truth." She decided on.

"Did you ever kiss a boy?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah your brother," Pacifica admitted.

"You're kidding right?" Mabel asked. Pacifica simply smirked. "DIPPER!" Mabel screamed.

"Yeah Mabel what's wrong," Dipper asked as he came through the door.

"Did she kiss you?" Mabel asked foaming at the mouth.

"Well I wouldn't call it pleasant but...uh" Dipper stuttered trying to avoid answering the question.

"Where did she kiss you?"

"At the lips," Pacifica said pointing to her own puckered up lips. Mabel's eye began to twitch as she screamed incoherently running down the hallway.

"Mabel wait it's not what you think!" Dipper pleaded as he followed his sister.

"Well that was fun," Pacifica laughed. "Now let's get to sleep before little miss fun time gets back!"

The two girls reluctantly complied with Pacifica suggestion, though they felt guilty about sleeping before Mabel could join them. About an hour later, Mabel came back after Dipper helped her calm down a bit. She was surprised to see that they were already asleep but at the same time relieved. Mabel didn't really feel like partying after what happened and simply crawled into bed. Mabel tried her best to go to sleep but every time she closed her eyes she kept seeing an image of Dipper and Pacifica kissing!

Suddenly she heard the door opening. Apparently she wasn't the only one who had trouble sleeping. Looking around she saw that Pacifica left the room. Overcome with curiosity, Mabel decided to follow her. Once again muttering the Impossible Mission theme she followed her target!

Pacifica made her way back into her bedroom and out on to her balcony. There she had a telescope set up for her nightly ritual. "Where are you," she complained as she searched the night sky. "Ah there you are," she said with a sigh of relief.

"What cha looking at?" Mabel suddenly asked startling Pacifica.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Pacifica insisted trying to keep Mabel away from the telescope. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see what you were up to," Mabel said somehow slipping around Pacifica and stared right into the scope. "Oh the Big Dipper," Mabel said with aw. "I didn't know you were into astrology."

"I'm not," Pacifica said. "And that's not the Big Dipper that's Ursa Major! The big bear."

"So why were you looking at it?" Mabel asked.

"If you must know, because it is my destiny," Pacifica answered. Which of course made no sense to Mabel. "A world renown Astrologist told me to always watch for the great bear because just like how my pioneer ancestor used the north star to guide him to Gravity Falls. The great bear will guide me to my destiny!" Pacifica explained. Mabel held in the urge to laugh wanting to remind her the truth about her ancestor. But since Pacifica is in such good spirits she decided not to spoil the moment. "So every night before I go to sleep I come here to look for the big dipper. It makes me feel better knowing that it is up there for me."

"Oh that's great," Mabel said fake yawing nervously. "You know what I'm feeling a little tired now so I'll be heading back." Mabel quickly ran out of her room once again screaming incoherently.

"Weirdo," Pacifica said going back to her telescope.

Mabel ran into the room Dipper was sleeping in and jumped onto the bed. "Dipper Pacifica stars Ursa major destiny!"

"Mabel calm down. Take a deep breath and tell me slowly," Dipper said wiping the sleep from his eyes. Mabel took a deep breath just as her brother suggested then told him everything she learned in Pacifica's room. "Look Mabel that astrology stuff is just superstition nonsense you shouldn't take that stuff seriously." Dipper reassured her.

"Yeah but what about Pacifica?" Mabel asked.

"What about her?" Dipper asked in turn.

"What if she finds out about this!" Mabel said pointing to Dipper's embarrassing birthmark on his forehead.

Dipper gulped realizing what Mabel was getting at. If Pacifica truly believes that the big dipper is her destiny, then what will she do when she finds out that Dipper has one on his forehead! Dipper shivered at the mere thought of it. "Look Mabel all we have to do is keep her from finding out. Heck she lets me wear my hat so we should be all good."

"Ok Dipper," Mabel said though she didn't seem all that convinced. "I trust you."

"Great now you just go on back to bed. Everything will turn out all right. You'll see." Dipper promised.

Mabel walked back to her room and crawled into bed unsure if she'll ever fall asleep again. Two minutes later she was snoring!


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"Hurry up Dipper! I don't have all day!" Pacifica yelled impatiently. Dipper grumbled carrying a huge box up the stairs. "What did you say?" Pacifica yelled causing him to lose his balance falling down the stairs! "Dipper are you alright?" Pacifica asked.

"I'm fine," Dipper groaned rubbing his head.

"You didn't get any head injuries did you?" Pacifica asked trying to take off his hat.

"No, no, I'm fine!" Dipper insisted struggling to keep his hat on his head.

"Come on let me see!" Pacifica demanded yanking his hat off. "Oh my," Pacifica gasped.

"What?" Dipper asked. "Am I bleeding? Do I have a huge lump or something? Tell me please!"

Pacifica was strangely silent as she moved his hair. "You have the Big Dipper on your forehead."

"Yeah it's a birthmark," Dipper explained.

"You're my destine star," Pacifica said lovingly. Her eyes twinkling and her cheeks blushing light pink.

"What are you saying?" Dipper asked starting to sweat. Pacifica said nothing else but instead she closed her eyes and slowly drew closer. Dipper gulped nervously but didn't object or even tried to avoid her. Instead he also closed his eyes ready to accept what was coming. As their two lips met fireworks lit the sky and the ringing of wedding bells could be heard all over Gravity Falls.

* * *

"Blarg!" Mabel screamed herself awake. Unable to believe the nightmare she just had. Looking around the room she saw that everyone else including Pacifica was still asleep. She silently tiptoed to the room where Dipper was sleeping and sure enough Dipper was still sound asleep. Only thing is he was sleeping with his hat on. It seems that she wasn't the only one worried about Pacifica finding about his birthmark. Mabel breathed a sigh of relief that it was only a dream, but can't help worry that it might happen if Dipper continues to hang around Pacifica! Mabel sat and pondered. Putting all of her energy into thinking of a way to get her brother away from her arch enemy. When she heard a knocking on the door.

"Excuse me but I'm here to inform you that breakfast is almost ready," Jeeves said. "So please get yourselves cleaned up."

"Ooh breakfast!" Mabel said excitedly. Waking her brother, her friends, and Pacifica so they can get ready.

Once they got to the dining hall everyone, with the exception of Pacifica and Dipper, were amazed at the sight of the food. The staff set up a buffet of Belgium waffles with whipped cream, blueberry pancakes, ham and cheese omelets, bacon, fresh fruit salad, and an assortment of syrups! Mabel couldn't stop drooling, unable to resist that beautiful sight. So much so that Dipper and her friends had to reign her in to keep her from jumping onto the table. After getting Mabel to control herself the group sat down for one of the best breakfast they ever had.

"So Pashiphika," Mabel mumbled with a mouthful of waffles. Drinking a glass of milk to help her swallow, she continued on. "How much longer are you planning to keep Dipper here?"

"Why Mabel you make it sound like I'm keeping him prisoner here," Pacifica gasped pretending to look shocked. "You know he's here by choice. But if you are so against him working here." Pacifica pulled out a wad of cash. "This is his pay. 500 dollars. Just like I promised" She said handing Dipper the money. "Not bad for a couple days work wouldn't you say."

"It's far more than what she pays me," Jeeves said sarcastically.

Pacifica glared at her butler but said nothing. "You see he can quit right now if he wants to. So how about it Dipper dear."

Dipper saw the desperate pleading look in Mabel's eyes begging him to quit. Then he looked over to Pacifica who had this 'I dare you' expression as well as opening her jacket just enough for him to catch a glimpse of his book hidden inside. "Sorry Mabel but I'd really like to work here a little bit longer," Dipper said sadly. As much as he would love to quit, he can't as long as she has his book!

"There you see, he's choice." Pacifica reaffirmed as she happily continued eating her breakfast. After breakfast Mabel and her friends got ready to leave. Dipper worried about his sister asked if he could walk her home, to which Pacifica allowed.

"Thanks for letting us sleep over," Mabel said rather depressingly.

"My pleasure Mabel, it was fun." Pacifica grinned. She just love seeing Mabel look so utterly dejected. "Hey Dipper darling, you know what I'm feeling gracious. Why don't you take today off and enjoy your first pay check." Pacifica said mischievously.

"Um okay," Dipper said feeling concern that Pacifica is not doing this out of the goodness of her heart. As they left the premises little did they know they were being watch by multiple envious and vengeful eyes.

After they left Pacifica danced around feeling great! The look of defeat, hopelessness, and utter humiliation on both Mabel's and Dipper's faces was priceless. Pacifica pulled out the Book 3 from her jacket and instructed a maid to put it in her room. Giving him the option of quitting was a dangerous gambit on her part, but the fact that he agreed to stay with her proves how valuable the book is to him. So she needs to take extra care of it. Also knowing him he'll blow his money trying to cheer Mabel up. Yeah 500 dollars my seem like a lot, but people like them have no idea how fast money can disappear! She wouldn't be surprised if he spends all of it before the day is out. Which would mean that he will be asking for more money, increasing her hold on him! Everything is going perfectly.

Just then Pacifica heard a knocking at the door. Since she was already there she opened it and found this disgusting, tall, hobo-looking individual. "Sorry no free handouts!" Pacifica said slamming the door. But before the door could fully close the boy stuck his hand in the doorway breaking some of his fingers off. "Are you crazy!" Pacifica yelled.

"Uh yeah uh," the boy muttered. "Are you Dipper's queen?"

"If you mean his lord and master then yes! That'll be me!" Pacifica bragged.

"Great!" the boy said removing his clothes revealing a bunch of gnomes! "GET HER!" the gnome with brown beard ordered. The other gnomes jumped up throwing a sack over her!

Dipper sat alone in the woods just outside of the Mystery 'S'hack looking at his wallet. He felt bad for letting his sister down again, so naturally he treated her and her friends to some apologetic ice cream. But what he hadn't expected on was the seer amount they would eat! He's already down $200 and some change. If twelve year olds are this expensive he shutters to think how much dating a fifteen year old like Wendy would cost! As he got ready to head back to the Mystery 'S'hack he heard a familiar voice talking about Mabel! Searching around he saw Jeff and a bunch of gnomes carrying a sack! 'Oh no did they get Mabel again!' Dipper feared and quickly pursued.

Jeff and the other gnomes traveled deep into the forest to one of their most secure hiding places. After all they wouldn't want some annoying brat finding them this time around! Tossing the sack on the ground Pacifica head manage to pop out of the sack. "Do you circus midgets know who I am!" Pacifica screamed. "Let me go or I swear my daddy will sue you for everything you've got!"

"Finally after several long weeks of wandering in the woods. Trying to reunite our lost tribesmen. Now is the time for our revenge!" Jeff the Gnome declared ignoring Pacifica's ranting.

"Revenge""Revenge""Revenge" the other gnomes chanted.

"What about getting a new queen," one of the gnomes asked.

"Queen""Queen""Queen" the gnomes began chanting.

"Smebulock!" Smebulock grunted pointing to his broken teeth.

"Smebulock is right, Steve!" Jeff said. "We must get our revenge against Dipper Pines before we get our queen! And we'll do it by kidnapping his queen!" Jeff pointing to Pacifica in the sack.

"Your making me your queen," Pacifica said feeling flattered.

"What? No eewww!" Jeff gagged. "We don't want you. We want Mabel!" The other gnomes began cheering Mabel's name.

"WHAT?!" Pacifica snarled finding it hard to believe that anyone, including monsters, would choose Mabel over her.

"So we'll hold you hostage until after the wedding. That way there's nothing Dipper can do to stop us!" Jeff laughed manically. The other gnomes laughed as well even though they have no idea why.

Pacifica wanted to laugh at the absurdity of this plan. After all she knows full well that Dipper would never bother to save her, especially if it's going to put his sister at risk. Strangely knowing that made her feel depressed.

Suddenly Dipper came charging in armed with a leaf blower. "Ok Norman let my sister g-" Dipper pause in confusion after seeing Pacifica instead of Mabel. "-o? Pacifica, what are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too Dipper," she said in her usual sassy tone but glad that he is here.

"Hello Dipper, as you can see, we have your queen!" Jeff pointed out. "If you want her back then allow us to marry your sister!"

"There are two things wrong with your plan," Dipper said. "First, I will never allow any of you guys to force Mabel into marriage! And second, Pacifica is not my queen. Yes I work for her but not in the way you guys are thinking."

"But she called you darling," Jeff said with confusion.

"I was mocking him!" Pacifica clarified.

"Oh so then holding her hostage won't do anything?" Jeff asked.

"None what-so-ever," both Dipper and Pacifica said at the same time. "So can you please let me go now," Pacifica added.

"Oh Ok," Jeff sulked instructing the gnomes to let Pacifica go.

After she was released she then ran towards Dipper giving him a big punch to the face. "This is the second time I've been dragged into your petty squabbles and I don't appreciate it one bit!" she snapped. "But thanks for rescuing me again, even if you weren't meaning to." she said giving Dipper a big hug.

"Hey I may not like you but I would never abandon you in this situation," Dipper said hugging her back.

"Smebulock!" Smebulock yelled pointing at them hugging.

"Hey she is his queen!" Jeff yelled. "Get them!" But before the gnomes could do anything; Dipper sucked Jeff up into the leaf blower.

"I'm sure you remember what happens next," Dipper gloated as he fired Jeff into the air.

"That takes care of him but what about these guys?" Pacifica asked pointing to the other gnomes who were just walking around aimlessly.

"Don't worry about them, gnomes have kind of like a hive mind. None of them can really think on their own they just follow Norman's orders. So with him gone they're no longer a threat." Dipper said. Just as he said it the gnomes began to pile up forming their giant monster mode!

"Not a threat huh," Pacifica said crossing her arms.

"This doesn't make sense," Dipper panicked. "Gnomes shouldn't be able to do anything with Norman's instructions!"

"Less talkie more running!" Pacifica said grabbing Dipper's arm.

"Wait this way," Dipper said taking the lead. Dipper led her to the Mystery 'S'hack's golf cart which got stuck in a mud hole the way there. "I need you to push!" Dipper said.

"Whoa I don't push!" Pacifica objected.

"Well if you think you can outrun that!" Dipper pointed to the giant gnome heading straight for them.

"Fine," Pacifica griped as she and Dipper pushed the cart out of the mud. Then the two jumped into the cart and drove away just as the gnomes reached them. "Well the good new is that this one isn't as fast as the last one," Dipper noted seeing the giant gnome moving further and further away.

"So what's the bad news?" Pacifica asked with concern.

Before Dipper could say anything two more giant gnomes appeared in front of them. "I guess that!" Dipper screamed. Dipper quickly turning the steering wheel evading the other giant gnomes, but it then another appeared in front of them again. It seemed that no matter where they went more giant gnome showed up cutting them off. "What is going on here?" Dipper wondered as he narrowly avoided a tree that the gnomes threw at them. As the tree hit the ground Dipper noticed that there were several gnomes on the tree and were now gathering to form another giant! Looking back at the giant gnomes behind him he saw that a small number of gnomes were collecting on the hands so that the giants could throw them! "So that's how they are doing it!" Dipper said realizing that how they're getting ahead of them.

"If you're going to do something you better do it soon!" Pacifica suggested.

Keeping track of where they were throwing the gnomes Dipper had a good idea where they would appear, effectively steering clear from them. "Nothing too it," Dipper bragged. Feeling invincible, that is until he drove into a river! The two kids manage to swim to shore but sadly they lost the golf cart. "Are you alright?" Dipper asked helping her up.

"Fine, fine no thanks to you!" Pacifica snapped. "Did we at least get away from those monsters?"

"Not quite missy," Jeff said standing on top of a tree. "You two really led us on a merry chase!"

"How did you get here ahead of us?" Dipper asked.

"Are you kidding! You fools launched me here!" Jeff yelled as he made his way down to the ground. "Now surrender!" he demanded. "You have no chance against the new and improved Gnomes of the Forest!"

"I don't get it," Dipper whispered. "Gnomes shouldn't be able to function without a leader. How did they do it?"

Pacifica didn't say anything as she walked up to Jeff and pulled something out of his ear.

"Hey give that back!" Jeff demanded

"He did it with this," Pacifica showing Dipper a bluetooth headset. "I'm sure that those other gnomes have them as well."

"Wow you guys went wireless," Dipper said with a hint of admiration. "Well I guess that solves that," Dipper said smashing the headset.

"Don't be too sure," Jeff warned as a bunch of gnomes suddenly appeared. "My brethren have arrived! So now what are you going to do?" Dipper simply picked Jeff up and tossed him into the river. As the current carried Jeff away he kept spouting vows of vengeance.

"Hey who's giving orders? I need orders." the gnomes started rambling.

"You want order, well I'll give you orders." Pacifica said sweetly. "NEVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN!"

"Do we follow her orders?" one of the gnomes ask.

"Orders are orders," another responded and with that the gnomes quickly disbursed.

"Phew I'm glad that's over with," Dipper said with a sigh of relief.

"Yeah that was great. Now take me home." Pacifica ordered.

"Fine," Dipper said looking around. "By the way you wouldn't happen to know which way the town is? I kind of lost my bearings with all that crazy driving."

"How would I know I was trapped in a sack!" Pacifica reminded him. The two kids gulped realizing that they are now lost in the woods!


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"I can't believe it! Stuck out here in the middle of nowhere with you!" Pacifica complained pacing around in a circle. "Achoo!" she sneezed.

In all the excitement Dipper forgot that their clothes were still wet from falling into the river. "Hold still I'll get a fire going," Dipper said as he went off to gather firewood.

"Haven't you gotten that fire going yet," Pacifica griped watching Dipper smacking two stones together.

"I'm sorry your majesty! But I'm doing my best!" Dipper snapped. In his anger he ended up striking the stones harder finally creating a spark. "There are you happy now." Dipper said as he tossed twigs into the fire.

"No not really," she said pushing him out of her way to get to the fire.

"Look I'm not too thrilled about this situation either. So let's just make the best of it until we get out of this, ok?" Dipper suggested.

"Fine," Pacifica agreed. "So I don't suppose you have a plan?"

"Well," Dipper pondered. Looking at the sun, testing the direction of the wind, and studying the trees. "If we follow the river it should take us back to the falls and from there we can find our way back to town."

"That's pretty good Dipper," Pacifica said slow clapping. "Except that we don't know which river this is!"

"Wait there are more?" Dipper asked in shock.

"Three to be exact," Pacifica said. "It could lead us back to the Falls or to Canada or the Pacifica Ocean!"

"Well do you have a better idea," Dipper asked.

"Yes! We wait here for more competent people to come and find us," Pacifica said. "I'm sure by now my parents is sending out search parties to look for me," she added with confidence.

*Back at Pacifica's House*

"Excuse me Jeeves but do you know where my daughter is?" Mr. Northwest ask.

"I think she left with her friends after their slumber party," Jeeves answered.

"Slumber Party? So I'll guess we wont' see her until tomorrow then." Mr. Northwest said.

"See who dear?" his wife asked.

"Pacifica, seems that she went to a slumber party," he said.

"Slumber party, didn't she just have one of those?" she said with confusion.

"Probably," Mr. Northwest said. Mrs. Northwest dropped it after that. After all their daughter has so many parties they actually forgot how old she is.

*Deep in the Woods*

Pacifica sat shivered next to the dying fire. "Where are they? They should have found me by now!"

"Maybe they're not as competent as you might think," Dipper teased as he scouted the immediate area.

"And what are you doing over there?" Pacifica asked.

"Looking for something to eat," Dipper answered.

Her rumbling tummy reminded her that she's had nothing to eat since she was abducted. "Found anything?" she growled.

"Nothing yet," Dipper answered as he returned to the camp fire. "But lucky for us I happen to have two bags of beef jerky." He handed Pacifica one of the bags.

"You've finally manage to do something right," Pacifica snapped grabbing the bag. "Hey why is this one already open?" she demanded.

"Just wanted to make sure we have equal portions," Dipper said showing that his bag was also opened.

"Fine!" she said seeing that her bag was slightly bigger. "Aren't you going to eat?" she asked after noticing that wasn't eating.

"I'm rationing," Dipper said. "After all we don't know how long it will be till we find more food."

"I'm not worried," Pacifica said stuffing her mouth. "I'm sure they'll come rescue me soon."

"Fine but don't come after me when you want more," Dipper warned. The two then spent the rest of daylight not even looking at each other. As the sun started to set Pacifica began shivering. Between her clothes still moist and tiny fire; she couldn't believe how cold she felt. Dipper sighed sadly as he gave her his vest. "Here, it's not much but it will help keep you warm."

"Don't expect a thank you," Pacifica said putting the vest on. "After all it's your fault I'm in this predicament."

"Fine I admit it! It's all my fault okay." Dipper groaned.

"You can lose the attitude mister," Pacifica said.

"Look why don't we get some sleep," Dipper suggested. "I'm sure things will look better in the morning."

Pacifica wanted to argue but didn't have the energy. So she leaned against a tree (since she didn't want to lay down in the dirt) and closed her eyes. Sometime later her stomach began growling. That small bag of jerky did not satisfy and she wanted more. Looking over towards Dipper, she saw that he still had a full bag of jerky. "Holding out on me huh," she whispered as she tiptoed over to him and carefully took his bag. "Sorry Dipper darling but I need these more than you do," she whispered as she bit into one piece of jerky. "Ow!" she cried. Turns out that what should have been jerky is actually tree bark! In fact the entire contents in the bag were tree bark. "Oh clever make me think you still got some food when really you have nothing," Pacifica whispered. The she noticed that Dipper was curdled in a fetal position shivering frantically and looking somewhat feverish. "Serves you right for playing such a horrible prank," she whispered. "Wait if you gave me all the jerky, then what did you eat?" she wondered. Then she heard Dipper's tummy rumbling, but it wasn't the same as when they were back at her house. No, this sound sounded more like his stomach eating itself. "You really are an idiot," Pacifica said taking off his vest and placing it over his body. "But I can't have you freeze to death yet." Pacifica when back to her side still holding the bag of tree bark. "Since you're no good as food might as well put you guys to good use," she said dumping them onto the fire. Then as if those bark were some kind of miracle wood, the fire flared up heating up the area. The warmth from the newly revived fire was enough to send Pacifica to a peaceful slumber. As the two slept, several shadowy figures gathered around them.

The next morning despite that horrible ordeal, Dipper woke feeling refreshed. But he was surprised and confused when he found his vest on him. He looked over to Pacifica who was still sleeping soundly. "Maybe you're not so bad," Dipper said as he went off to find some breakfast. Whether it was goo fortune, karma, or just plain dumb luck; Dipper manage to find some small fishes washed up on the shore of the river. Using his pocket knife Dipper scaled the fishes and washed them in the river. After which he brought them back to camp and proceeded to cook them.

"Oh man, what stinks!" Pacifica said waking up.

"Breakfast," Dipper said handing her a fish on a stick. "Sorry if it's not Belgium Waffles but it's the best I could do."

Pacifica recalled how Dipper starved himself to give her all his jerky, so she held her tongue and graciously accepted the disgusting looking fish. "Not bad could use some tartare sauce."

"So what do you want to do now?" Dipper asked as he chewed. "Do you still want to wait or what."

Pacifica thought about it for awhile. "Well I don't want to be out here more than I have to. So I guess we'll do your plan this time," she decided. "But don't blame me if we end up in Canada!"

"Or the Pacific ocean," Dipper joked. The two shared a friendly laugh as they continued eating. After breakfast the two began their trek up river.

"Hey can we stop I'm getting hungry," Pacifica complained after a few hours later.

Dipper was about to object, until he looked up at the sun. Judging by it's position he'd figured it's probably around 1:30-2:30ish. "I guess we can rest for awhile," he decided.

Pacifica sat down on a rock taking her boots off. While Dipper went off to search for something to eat. Strangely enough he found more fish at the river bank plus some apples. Suspiciously he look up at the trees and just as he figured, they weren't apple trees! So where did the apples come from, or these fish for that matter. The only fishes that he knows of that dies like this is salmon and he's pretty sure that these aren't salmon. Still the rumbling in his tummy superceded his suspicions, so he gathered up the food and hurried back to where he left Pacifica.

"Wow you're pretty good with this survival thing," Pacifica complimented as she finished her food.

"It's not me," Dipper said keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. "I think there's more going on than we know."

"We're not being chased by monsters again?" Pacifica said.

"I don't know but I found these fishes and the apples way too easily. It's almost like someone planted them there for us or for something else." Dipper noted.

"You mean that these might be bait for a trap?" Pacifica gulped looking around as well. "You don't think these might be poisonous do you?" Pacifica asked pointing to the fish bones and apple cores.

"I think that would be a moot point since we already ate them," Dipper pointed out. "But we should take precautions."

"How are you planing to do that?" Pacifica asked.

"With this," Dipper said showing her his Swiss army knife and explaining his plan.

"Who do you think you are, MacGuyver?" Pacifica said cynically.

"He's one of my heroes," Dipper admitted. "But I'm kind of surprised that you know who MacGuyver is."

"My mom thinks he's cute," Pacifica blushed with embarrassment.

Later that evening they set up camp again for the night. Once again they found food conveniently nearby. As the two settled down by the fire they heard the sounds of voices in the woods. Going in to investigate they found three guys tangled in a simple net trap that Dipper set up hours ago. Because all three were wearing hoods they couldn't see their faces very well, but judging by their size they were probably a year older than them.

"Our benefactors I presume," Dipper said as he approached the three boys.

"Hey let us out of here," one of the guys demanded.

"Yeah sure but first why have you been following us?" Dipper demanded.

"We just wanted to help," another guy insisted.

"Yeah right, if you wanted to help us you wouldn't be hiding in the shadows," Pacifica said. "Unless you had another reason."

"Yeah so start talking!" Dipper demanded.

"Alright, alright but could you cut us loose," one asked. "We've got to relieve ourselves."

"Yeah right like we're going to fall for that," Pacifica laughed. Until she saw that they really were wetting their pants. "Ewww gross, Dipper!"

"I'm on it but no tricks," Dipper said as he cut their captives free. The three boys ran behind some bushes and proceeded to do their business. They soon stepped out after they were done. "So why were you stalking us?" Dipper asked again. The three guys looked at each other for a second before running back into the woods. "Hey get back here!" Dipper demanded.

"You really should have seem that coming," Pacifica criticized.

"Come on they might be able to help us," Dipper said as he chased after the boys. Thanks to Dipper's tracking skills they manage to follow them to a small cabin deep in the woods. Strangest thing is that all the windows of the cabin were boarded up. Carefully tiptoeing to the front door they were surprised to see that it was unlocked. Inside was rather homey, with a lot of board games and role playing books all over. "Strange why would they have all this but no television?" Dipper pondered as he continued to look around. "Pacifica!" he scolded after seeing her raid the pantry.

"Hey I'm starving here," she argued. "Besides I'll pay them," she pulled out some cash and left it on the counter.

While Dipper didn't approve, he was starving as well so he joined in the raid. After going through the pantry they then moved to the refrigerator. "OMG," Pacifica gagged.

Dipper also felt nauseated at what he was seeing. The refrigerator was filled with packets and jars of blood! Some of which had labels with names on them depicting blood type and expiration date! Taking everything he has observed under consideration Dipper came to one conclusion. "Pacifica we've got to get out of here!" Dipper insisted. "I think these guys are..."

"Vampires," an unknown voice finished. They turned to see three guys they've trapped earlier standing behind them. Pulling their hoods back to reveal their monstrous features: pale white skin, bat like nose, and of course fangs! "I'm sorry but we can't have you leave just yet!"

The two kids screamed in terror as the monster trio jumped at them!

* * *

**A/N: Sorry I took so long holiday and all. Oh special thanks to Allie cat for calling this the best story on the page!**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"Well this is another fine mess you've gotten me into!" Pacifica griped after being tied up by the vampires.

"You're right, I shouldn't have chased after them," Dipper admitted as he was being tied up. "But in my defense, I had no clue that they were vampires!"

"Will you two give it a rest!" one of the Vampires complained. "You two have been bickering nonstop even before we found you!"

"Oh bite me!" Pacifica spat.

"Not a good choice of words considering our predicament, Pacifica." Dipper whispered to her.

"Well Mr. I know everything about monsters, tell me how should we handle this predicament?" Pacifica snapped.

"Well maybe if I had my book back I could figure a way out of this!" Dipper shot back.

"If I had brought your precious book, it would have been ruined in the river you felt like drive in!" Pacifica yelled.

"Hey I did not drive into the river intentionally," Dipper argued. "And besides it did help us get away from the gnomes!"

"STOP! STOP! You two are giving us a headache!" one of the Vampires begged. "Can't you two please stop for five minutes." Suddenly his leg started twitching. "Excuse me, take over for me," the Vampire said before quickly running into the bathroom.

"Seriously, you two are our prisoners," the other Vampire said. "So you should act like one."

"Ok fine, so what do you want?" Dipper asked.

"We want you to tell us where we can find the others," the first Vampire demanded as he returned from the bathroom.

"Others? What others?" Dipper crooked his eye in confusion.

"You see we Vampires have to drink 3x our weight in blood, but the you two combine would barely be a fraction of our weight," the Vampire started to explain.

"So you were hoping for us to lead you to more people to feed on," Dipper figured.

"Correct," the Vampire clapped. "After all there's no way two little children like yourselves could have gotten all the way out here on your own. Uh-oh I've got to go." He then tagged the third vampire before leaving.

"Sheesh, what's with you Vampires and toilets anyway?" Pacifica asked.

"Well you may not know this but 85% of blood has no nutritional value. It's mainly comprised of water, plasma, platelet, white blood cells, and cholesterol." the Vampire explained.

"Oh right, that's why South American vampire bats have to pee while they drink blood. So that it doesn't take up space in their stomach." Dipper recalled hearing about this in some documentary. "Wait, so you're saying that you guys are the same?" The Vampire nodded before running off to the bathroom as soon as the other one came back.

"Gross," Pacifica gagged. "Well sorry to disappoint you but we're lost out here so we don't know where anyone else is."

"Pacifica, why did you tell them that," Dipper scolded. "Now they have no reason to keep us alive!"

"Keep you alive, oh no you've got the wrong idea. We're not going to hurt you much." the Vampire reassured them. "Unlike the vampires you see in the movies we only take about a pint or two of blood per person. It won't kill you, at worst you'd probably just collapse from anemia."

"So if you guys drink blood from multiple humans that must mean that there's a town nearby?" Dipper asked hopefully.

"Sadly no," the vampires lowered their heads. "We mainly feed on animal blood, but sometime we get campers and hunters that come here or the occasional nutjobs looking for Big Foot."

"Does that mean being bitten doesn't turn us into vampires?" Pacifica asked.

"No that's Hollywood. If that were true half of the population would have been turned into vampires long time ago," the Vampires laughed. Pacifica pouted, like most girls she'd dream of finding a vampire lover just like in the movies. Maybe even being turned into one. But now after learning that means living the rest of eternity in a diaper, the prospect of being turned have lost its luster.

"That is so fascinating," Dipper said in astonishment. Figures being the paranormal nut that he is. "So is the whole immortal thing also a myth? Or that vampires can only be killed by sunlight or a wooden stake through the heart?"

"Ha-ha, a wooden stake through the heart would kill anyone, you silly boy," the vampires laughed. "You know I like him. He's smart, inquisitive, it's no wonder he caught on to us so quickly. I think he'd be perfect to join our party!" The other vampires nodded in agreement and quickly untied him.

"Party?" both Dipper and Pacifica wondered. The vampires quickly set up a Dungeons and Dragons game and gave Dipper a 20 sided dice. "You guys role play?" Dipper asked.

"Yup, for 57 years!"

"57 years!" Dipper gasped.

"It's something we do to pass the time. Being immortal and all."

"Great, vampires are a bunch of Geeks," Pacifica groaned as her image of vampires being cool mysterious teenage lover boys went flushing down the toilet. That or it could be one of the vampires is using the bathroom again. But she may have found a way out of this situation. "Hey guys," she called out getting everyone's attention. "You know it's a lot more fun if you act it out as well."

"Act it out?" the vampires looked at her with confusion.

"Yeah, you know make pretend swords, say corny lines, actually have some treasure to go after, for starters." Pacifica counted off.

"Pacifica what are you doing?" Dipper whispered.

"Trust me," Pacifica said with a confident smile. Dipper wasn't sure what she was playing at, but since he didn't have a plan of his own he might as well follow her's. Pacifica then set up the scenario of her being a beautiful princess being help prisoner by an evil wizard; with the vampires as brave knights going to rescue her and for some reason Dipper got cast as the thief. She also covered the furniture with colorful blankets saying that they were monsters.

"Hey this is a lot more fun," one of the vampires said as he swung his sword at the table pretending he was fighting a chimera.

"Okay in order to reach the evil wizards castle you first need to get the map!" Pacifica explained.

"I'll draw it," one of the vampires volunteered. "I'm great at drawing maps."

"Or to save time, just get a real map," Pacifica suggested.

"Yes retrieving this map is our first quest," the vampires cheered. Dipper and the vampires entered a secret cave (the basement) to look for the map. After finding the map they continued playing until they reached the wizards castle!

"Is that it," one of the vampires complained after defeating the evil wizard. "Talk about anticlimactic."

"FIREBALL!" Pacifica yelled throwing a ball of tissue paper at them.

"Princess what is the meaning of this?" the vampires asked.

"You fools now that you destroyed the evil wizard I can take his place as the witch queen," Pacifica laughed as she continued to pelt them with tissue paper.

"Oh no the princess has turned evil. We've got to defeat her." the vampires gasped.

"Yes only together we can defeat her!" one of the vampires said raising his sword.

"Good point," Pacifica said. "I cast charm spell to make your thief my slave!" she then blew a kiss to Dipper who was finally seeing what she was planning.

"Oh no she's taking over my mind," Dipper said shaking his head. "I must serve my queen."

"Gasp, she enchanted our comrade," the vampires cried. "You monster! I attack with my sword!"

"Ha, you triggered my trap, now you all stuck there for the next 24 hours!" Pacifica said pointing to a crudely drawn pentagram on the floor.

"A paralysis spell, were trapped! NNNNNoooooooo!" the vampires cried.

"Now my slave steal their map," Pacifica ordered. Dipper quickly grabbed the map and hurried over to Pacifica's side. "Even though you guys are paralyzed there's no way I can defeat you," Pacifica said. "So instead I will just take my treasure." Pacifica grabbing some granola bars with yellow wrappers (the designated gold bars). "And make my escape using this warp gate." Pacifica declared as she and Dipper made their way out the front door.

"They just robbed us, didn't they?" one of the vampires said after awhile.

"No this is just part of the game," the other insisted still standing still. "He is a thief after all."

"Quiet you two. We're suppose to be paralyzed!" the last one scolded.

Meanwhile Dipper and Pacifica ran as fast as they could not believing how they manage to escape. "Say Pacifica how do you know they won't come after us?"

"Because those guys are dorks," Pacifica answered. "And I know for a fact that dorks take their LARPing way too seriously. Trust me they won't move for the next 24 hours."

"Yeah," he agreed but remained unconvinced of her logic. "Maybe I shouldn't tell Mabel about these guys," he whispered to himself knowing how much his sister has always wanted a vampire boyfriend. Although he is certain that those guys are not the kind of vampires she's longing for. "But how did you know about that paralysis spell? Picked it up from watching nerds?"

"Oh yeah, you wouldn't believe how many times I used it to get away from guys like them," Pacifica said proudly. Dipper was both amazed and terrified at how well Pacifica understands her enemies. It's no wonder why everyone in town is so scared of her. Not even he would go through such lengths. It also makes him wonder if he ever stood a chance against her. "Plus we've got provisions and a map. Speaking of which shouldn't you be using the map to find our way home." She suggested while munching on a granola bar.

"Just ration the food this time," Dipper grumbled as he studied the map. "Uh-oh," he said.

"What do you mean uh-oh?" Pacifica demanded.

"This map is old," Dipper said. "Gravity Falls isn't on it!"

"What!?" Pacifica screamed almost choking on her granola bar.

"Hang on," Dipper said looking at the map and the surrounding landmarks. "Let's see the vampire's cabin is here, the river was here, and the mountains are over there. Huh, we were following the wrong river," he mumbled as he wrote several calculations in the dirt. "Ok if I'm not mistaken, Gravity Falls should be about 20 miles Northwest of here" Dipper concluded.

"Northwest," Pacifica laughed at irony. "Don't suppose you have a compass?"

"Don't need one," Dipper said. "The sun is setting over there, so that's west!" Dipper pointing to the horizon.

"And Ursa Major is over there," Pacifica squinting her eyes to try and get a better view of the stars just starting to appear in the sky. "So that would be Polaris over there!" she said excitedly.

"That means northwest should be around..." Dipper tracing his finger northward while Pacifica moved her's westward. "There!" they both cried as their fingers met. The two blushed with embarrassment due to their movements resulting with them ending up cheek to cheek!

"Well then shall we go my lady?" Dipper teased. Bowing and extending his hand as if they were still role playing.

"Let's, my brave protector!" Pacifica laughed taking his hand. The two happily continued on their journey, not realizing or perhaps not even caring that they were holding hands.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Mystery 'S'hack

"Hey have you guys seen Dipper?" Stan asked his two employees.

"Shouldn't he be at Pacifica's place?" Wendy said.

"Maybe, but he should be back by now," Stan said.

"Actually last time I saw him he was asking to borrow the golf cart and leaf blower. Saying something about having to rescue Mabel from some gnomes," Soos reported. "The golf cart is still missing."

"Rescue me?" Mabel said looking rather puzzled. "But I wasn't kidnapped by gnomes! At least not since that one time." she shivered.

"So have you seen your brother?" Stan asked.

"Not since yesterday," Mabel said. "When he bought me and my friends ice cream with his first paycheck. After that he said he got things he needed to take care of and wandered off."

"What? He blew his first paycheck on ice cream!" Stan moaned. "No wonder, I'd be sulking in some dark corner if I did something like that too."

"Some how I don't think that's the reason," Wendy said feeling a little worried about the boy.

"Anyways I'm heading over to the Northwest estate and see if I can get my great nephew back from those snobs," Stan said heading for the front door. As he opened the door Mr. And Ms. Northwest were standing out in front, spooking Stan.

"Mr. Pines we have some questions to ask you concerning our daughter," Mr Northwest said as he entered.

"Great, I was on my way to see you about my nephew," Stan said.

"Where is our daughter?" Mr. Northwest demanded. "She disappeared sometime yesterday. The last people to see her was your nephew and niece!"

"Well we haven't seen Dipper all day," Stan said. "And the last place anyone has seen him was at your place!"

"Ooh Dipper and Pacifica are both missing, along with a golf cart!" Wendy said sound very excited. "Maybe those two eloped or something!"

"Oh that's it!" Mr. Northwest screamed. "Officer Blubs arrest this man!" he demanded.

"Arrest me on what charges!" Stan objected.

"For kidnapping my daughter," Mr. Northwest said.

"I didn't kidnapped your daughter and you don't have any evidence to suspect me," Stan pointed out.

"He's right," Sheriff Blubs agreed. "But then again I'm pretty sure you're guilty for plenty of other things."

"What? Ah come on!" Stan cried in disbelief as Blubs slapped the handcuffs on him. "Not today!" Stan said throwing down a smoke bomb. After the smoke cleared they found a fake hand in the cuffs with Stan running off saying. "Try and catch me, suckers!"

"After him!" Sheriff Blubs ordered as he, Deputy Durland, and the Northwest chased after Stan.

"Okay Waddles, Dipper is missing and Gruncle Stan in on the lam again. Looks like it is up to us to save the day." Mabel said to her pet pig.

"Great so what's the plan?" Soos asked.

Mabel looked up into the sky with the most serious expression she's ever had in her life! "I don't know!"

* * *

Back at the Vampire's cabin

"I need to go to the bathroom," one complained.

"Stop talking we're still paralyzed," the other ordered.

"But didn't Pacifica say that bathroom breaks were authorized?" the last one reminded them.

"Good point, a short recess and then back to being paralyzed!" With that the vampires began fighting to get to the bathroom first.


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

Pacifica found Dipper writing on the old granola bar wrappers. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"What, oh I'm just making notes about the vampires we met," Dipper said. "Just want to do this while it's still fresh in my memory for when I get my book back."

"You are such a nerd," Pacifica laughed.

"You mean like those vampires?" Dipper asked cynically.

"No those guys were dorks, you are a nerd. Big difference." Pacifica insisted.

"How so?" Dipper asked interested in seeing how she thinks.

"If I had to explain it to you that will make you a dork as well," Pacifica teased. Dipper shook his head in disapproval, putting the wrappers inside his pocket. The two continued on until they discovered a field with several stone statues. "What is all this?" Pacifica wondered.

"Well judging by all these statues it's possible this may have been some kind of sacred Indian grounds," Dipper figured. "Or an eccentric artist living somewhere around here."

"What are the chances that this artist might help get back to town?" Pacifica wondered.

"Can't say for sure, but look at these statues." Dipper instructed. "They all have this expression of fear and terror. If I were to profile. I'd say that this guy might be a death artist."

"A death artist?"

"Someone who uses death as the theme for their art," Dipper explained.

"And let me guess, they are also psychos," Pacifica huffed.

"I wouldn't go that far but some have been known to kill their models just to get that look of fright just right," Dipper said.

"I think you watch way too much Duck-tective." Pacifica sighed. "But why would he leave his statues out here, why not keep them in his house or something?"

Dipper pondered that for a minute. "Maybe it's not an artist. Maybe there's a monster here with a gorgon stare," he joked. Suddenly Pacifica slapped him across the face. "HEY!" he protested only to his surprise see her trembling.

"This is no time to be joking like that!" she shuddered.

"Pacifica, what's wrong?" Dipper asked. He has never seen her afraid before.

"What's wrong? I've been kidnapped by gnomes, played dungeons and dragons with vampires, and had one of my parties nearly ruined by gremlins! So the last thing I want is for a Medusa turning into the most beautiful stone statue!" she ranted as tears began coming out of her eyes.

Seeing her crying triggered a long forgotten memory of Mabel crying and how he swore that day that he would do everything in his power to make sure that his sister never cries again! For reason unknown he felt compelled to do the same thing for her. Pulling out a handkerchief he proceeded to wipe the tears from her face. "Don't worry, no I'll protect you no matter what," Dipper reassured her. "Uh-oh," he gulped realizing that he just smeared her makeup.

"What's wrong?" Pacifica asked.

"Uh," Dipper hesitated saying anything, afraid of angering her.

Pacifica eyed him suspiciously when she noticed the smear on the handkerchief. "My makeup!" she yelled reaching into her pockets. "Oh no this can't be happening! This can't be happening! It can't be gone!"

"What's wrong?" Dipper asked.

"My compact mirror is missing! I can't have lost it! This is your fault!" Pacifica screamed.

"Sorry about that," Dipper apologized preparing for her wrath. But Pacifica just stood there frozen in shock. "You know I'm sure you'll actually look cuter without all that makeup," Dipper said hoping to cheer her up.

"Do you really think I'm cute?" Pacifica cried.

"I've always preferred the natural look," Dipper said as he continued to wipe off the makeup. "There," he said as he finished. "You look...Wow," Dipper gulped finding himself unable to finish.

"Well tell me?" Pacifica feeling a little irritated at his hesitation. Before he could say anything they heard some rustling in the bushes. "What was that?" Pacifica cringed grabbing hold of Dipper.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Dipper stuttered trying to put on a brave face. Carefully approaching the bushes, Dipper poke it with a stick. A second later a couple of bunnies leaped out of the bushes, startling Dipper.

"Don't worry I think they're harmless," Pacifica teased.

"I wasn't scared," Dipper insisted. Then two giant figures came walking out of the same bushes. "Ok now I'm scared," he admitted. The pair stared up at what looked like two gorillas in samurai armor.

"You know most moneys can't pull the whole ancient warrior look but guys make it work," Pacifica smiled hoping to flatter them. But the gorillas seemed to take offense at her statement and roared right at her face.

"Pacifica I know this isn't the right time to tell you but monkeys and gorillas are two different species," Dipper lectured.

"Really? Huh no wonder I failed that animal test." Pacifica commented as the two gorillas grabbed the kids and carried them off. "Well Mr. Mystery Twin minus one, any idea where they might be taking us?" Pacifica asked.

"I'm still trying to figure out what are two gorillas wearing Japanese summerween costumes are doing here," Dipper said. The two remained quiet the rest for the rest of the trip until the gorillas dropped them off at a villa. "I guess this is where we meet the Shogun," Dipper said as they entered the cottage.

Inside they were surprised to see that it looked more like a laboratory with several stone statues. In the center of the room was a lone figure talking to one of the statues. "Oh you're back! Did you find it?" the figure asked excitedly as she danced over towards them. "Wait these are just two kids!" she said sounding disappointed. "Oh but where are my manners. Are you kids hungry?"

"Yes Mam," the two kids said at the same time. Their host smiled gently taking them into the kitchen.

-Later after Lunch-

"Oh it is so nice to have company. But what are you kids doing out here?" she asked.

"Well Ms. uh,"

"Amy, Amy Hall." she introduced herself.

"Amy Hall," Pacifica pondered. "Why does that name sound familiar?"

"I'm Dipper Pines and this is Pacifica Northwest." Dipper introduced.

"I can tell her my own name thank you very much," Pacifica sniped when she noticed the plushie around Amy's neck. "Oh by the way Ms. Hall..."

"Just call me Amy," Amy insisted.

"Alright Amy, but is that a Cuddle Buddy?" Pacifica asked.

"Oh yes this is my favorite, the Otterfly!" Amy said hugging the little stuffed animal.

"Cuddle Buddies," Dipper said in confusion. "I thought they discontinued those toys years ago."

"They did after some crazy mad scientist went nuts with them," Pacifica said shaking her head. "Leave it to one nutjob to ruin it for the rest of us."

"That's right blame the one true fan for ruining everything!" Amy ranted.

"Amy, cuddle buddies, mad scientist," Pacifica finally put the last piece in. "You're DNAmy!"

"DNAmy?" Dipper gasped. "Who's DNAmy?"

"Oh I'm just the world's leading bio-geneticist and avid collector of Cuddle Buddies," Amy said hugging her Otterfly.

"Who also tried to crossbreed different species to create real life cuddle buddies," Pacifica added.

"Wow you are crazy," Dipper said. "But how did you know all that Pacifica?"

"I was part of the Kim Possible fan club back when Kim Style was popular," Pacifica explained.

"Oh right that teen super hero," Dipper recalled Mabel telling him about her sometime ago. "So I take it those two gorilla things are your handy work?"

"Oh yes," Amy admitted.

"And these stone statues are also part of your twisted schemes," Dipper accused.

"In a way yes," Amy said without hesitation.

"Well we're not going to be part of your crazy experiments!" Dipper declared stepping in front of Pacifica and holding his spoon out in a threatening manner.

"Oh don't worry dearies," Amy laughed. "I'm not going to experiment on you. I'm just here looking for a cockatrice."

"A cockatrice?" Dipper said reaching in his vest for his absent book.

"You know that half lizard half chicken thing," Pacifica explained.

"I know that but how did you?" Dipper asked.

"Just because I'm beautiful and rich doesn't mean I'm stupid," Pacifica scoffed.

"Yeah I'm starting to see that now," Dipper said with deep admiration. Pacifica blushed as Dipper's sudden confession.

"Aw you two are so adorable," Amy squealed. "It almost makes sorry to this!" Snapping her fingers and the gorillas grabbed Pacifica and locked her in a cage.

"Hey let her go!" Dipper dived in trying to fight the gorillas only to be knocked on his butt.

"There's no need for that," Amy chuckled. "I'm just going to hold her here until you get me the cockatrice."

"Why don't you send your goon squad," Dipper sneered.

"I did but the can't tell a chicken from bunny," Amy shook her head. "That's why I need someone with brains to lead them."

"And your hold Pacifica hostage until I do," Dipper finished.

"Yup, anyway you should be find some in the clearing just east of here. But be careful, the last six guys I sent there never came back." Amy said. Dipper gulped remembering seeing some stone humans on the way here.

"No Dipper don't go!" Pacifica begged. "If you get turned into stone then how am I going to get home!"

"Nice to see you care," Dipper sulked. "Don't worry, I've been in tougher jams."

"Tougher jams," Pacifica scoffed. "Who taught you how to speak, that loud mouth uncle of yours." Dipper sighed sadly as he left. "Just come back to me," Pacifica whispered.

Dipper and the gorillas made their way back to the field where Dipper found those statues. "Hard to believe that these guys used to be flesh and blood huh," Dipper turned to the gorillas who just stared blankly at him. "You guys don't say much do you. That already makes you better conversationalist than Pacifica," Dipper joked. Returning back to the spot where the statues were he saw something rustling in the bushes again. Tiptoeing towards the bushes he signaled the gorillas to move in.

As they closed in, a little bird's head popped out of the bushes. "AAAaahhh!" Dipper screamed startled by the fowl's sudden appearance. "Hey there little guy, you wouldn't be some kind of mythological monster would you?" Dipper asked holding out some bread crumbs he saved from lunch to use for bait. The bird looked at the crumbs curiously. It look like it was going to take the bait, but then the gorillas charged in trying to grab the bird. Reacting to this sudden hostilities, the bird shot a beam of light from it's eyes turning one of the gorillas into stone. Stepping out of the bushes, Dipper saw it was indeed half bird half lizard! "I guess you are the mythological creature we were looking for," Dipper said. After turning the other gorilla into stone the cockatrice turned it's attention on Dipper. "I don't suppose you can just let me go and we'll forget the whole thing." Dipper pleaded nervously slowly backing away, until he tripped on some roots and fell down. The cockatrice screeched loudly before charging straight at him! Desperately Dipper began hurling rocks at the bird/lizard to no avail. As the cockatrice got closer it's eyes began glowing. Dipper frantically searched around trying to find something anything that can help him. That's when he picked up this strange object. Having no time to identify it, Dipper closed his eyes and held the object in front of him hoping to shield himself from being petrified!

He heard the cockatrice squawking in terror then silence. Dipper carefully open his eyes and saw that the monster bird itself is now stone. Checking out the item in his hands, he saw small circular purple mirror with the initials P.N. on it. "Huh, I guess this is Pacifica's compact." Dipper said placing it in his pocket, pleasantly surprised and grateful over the turn of events. As Dipper carried his quarry back to the lab, the petrified cockatrice started twitching.

-Later at Amy's lab-

"Here's your cockatrice," Dipper said bursting in. "Now let Pacifica go!"

"Oh goody," Amy cheered. "But where are my gorillas?"

"Lawn ornaments," Dipper answered.

"I see," Amy sighed sadly as she opened the cage. "So where is it?" Dipper presented the stone lizard/bird. "What no! I needed it alive!"

"Sorry but that was the best I could do," Dipper said not sounding the least bit apologetic.

"How did you do that?" Pacifica asked sounding very impressed.

"In a way it was thanks to you," Dipper said returning her compact.

"My compact!" Pacifica squealed gazing at her reflection. But started feeling depressed seeing how bland she looked without her makeup.

"You see I told you that you'd look better without all that makeup," Dipper said honestly.

Pacifica blushed at his comment. "That's just because you prefer the natural look." Remembering what he said earlier. The two drew closer towards each other, until the mood was disrupted by Amy's irksome crying.

"Oh Monty I failed you!" Amy cried.

"Who's Monty?" Dipper said out loud.

"My dear sweet'ums," Amy said showing him a picture of Monkey Fist. "He was turned to stone by a magic monkey's curse. I was hoping to study the cockatrice to see if I can find a way to reverse it."

"Yeah well good luck with that," Dipper said unsympathetically. "We're leaving!" he said grabbing Pacifica's arm.

"I'm sorry but I can't just let you leave. You know me being a criminal and all." Amy giggled as several hybrid monsters surrounded them.

"Yeah I figured," Dipper smiled as he started to countdown. "3...2...1...Duck!" he yelled pushing Pacifica down to the floor. At the same time the cockatrice came back to life and started blasting everywhere turning all the genetic freaks into stone. "Ok that's enough," Dipper ordered. The cockatrice stopped it's attack with only itself, Dipper, Pacifica, and Amy still flesh and blood.

"What just happened?" Pacifica demanded. "How did you tame that thing?"

"Simple, after I caught him I gave him some breadcrumbs and he became quite obedient." Dipper explained giving the cockatrice more bread.

"Bu, bu, but it was stone before," Amy insisted.

"Yes but these creatures can turn others into stone. So naturally they have a way to turn back if the need arises." Dipper pointed out.

"Can it restore others as well," Amy asked.

"Of course. I already had him changed the other animals in the forest back. Go ahead little guy." Dipper said scratching under it's neck. The cockatrice started crowing; soon all of Amy's genetic creations reverted back to life. "Okay unless you want to be turned back into stone I suggest you leave!" Dipper demanded holding the cockatrice above his head! The animals screamed in terror and ran out as quickly as possible.

"Now why did you go and do that...You're going to help her aren't you!" Pacifica facepalmed herself.

"Really?" Amy said in disbelief.

"Yes but you have to promise to help us get back to Gravity Falls," Dipper demanded.

"Of course," Amy promised.

"Great but try and trick us then you're going to be a statue right next to your precious Monkey Fist!" Dipper warned pointing the cockatrice like it was a weapon. Amy led them to her secret room where she kept the stone statue of Monkey Fist. Dipper again scratched the cockatrice's neck triggering it to crow. Everyone held their breath waiting to see if it would work, but nothing happened.

"Why didn't it work?" Pacifica wondered.

"Probably because he was turned to stone by a different kind of magic," Dipper figured.

"Oh Monty my poor sweet darling," Amy cried hugging the statue. As her tears landed on the statue, it started to move.

"Uh, wha where am I? What happen? Yono! When I get my hands on him I'll..." Monkey Fist rambled.

Monty! You're back to normal!" Amy cheered. "It took me a long time and a lot of research, but I finally turned you back into a human/monkey thing!"

"What? NNNNOOOOooooo!" Monty screamed trying to get out of her grip. "Get away from me!" Monkey Fist using his monkey like reflexes scurried out of the lab and into the woods!

"You're not getting away this time!" Amy swore, jumping into her jeep and driving after him.

"That was just sick and wrong," Dipper said shaking his head.

"I'd say it's wrong sick," Pacifica putting her two cents in.

"Yeah let's just get out of here," Dipper suggested.

"Right, but wait wasn't she suppose to give us a ride?" Pacifica remembered.


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

Mabel took a deep breath putting the finishing touches on her latest sweater. Giving herself a quick once-over before grabbing her hat and heading downstairs to meet with the troops. In the livingroom she spotted her friends waiting patiently for her arrival. "ATTENTION! Everyone fall in!" Mabel called to order. Responding quickly to her command, they all lined up standing at attention. "Gentlemen I don't think I need to remind you what's at stake here." Mabel paused seeing Wendy raising her hand. "Yes Sargent Wendy."

"Um Mabel you do know that we're all girls," Wendy pointed out. "Except Soos and Waddles I think," she quickly corrected herself.

"Irrelevant! And it's General Pines! See!" Mabel said showing off her uniform sweater.

"Mabel," Candy started. "I mean General, you do know that's an Admiral uniform."

Mabel looked dumbfounded but quickly shook it off. "I-Ir-Irrelevant!" Mabel screamed. "Now to business. I want an update on your progress, Soos!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" Soos saluted. "My Dipper detector is almost completed. I should have it ready by the end of the week." Soos showing her what looks like a flashlight with a calculator duck-taped on to it.

"Have it ready by tomorrow! No excuses!" Mabel ordered, much to Soos's dismay. "Candy!"

"I check out the game center and the comic stores, but no one seen your brother." Candy reported. Mabel walked over to the map of the town and 'X' out the places they've searched.

"Grenda!"

"I interrogated several students but most don't even know who Dipper is." Grenda reported. "Also that Pacifica is still missing as well."

Mabel tried to keep a brave face as she continued to cross out places on the map. "Wendy?" she asked desperately.

"I check out the train and bus stations, so far no one matching Dipper or Pacifica has been seen using the trains or buses recently," Wendy said sadly. "Robbie and the others promised to keep an eye out for them," Wendy assured her.

"Private Waddles," Mabel turning to her pet pig. Waddles started snorting something. "So that's a negative on the town dump." Mabel sighed crossing that out as well. "Alright troops, my brother is still MIA. We all know where he is not so go searching where he might be! Dismissed!" Mabel ordered. The girls headed out the door while Soos went to the kitchen 'work' on his Dipper detector. "Where are you?" Mabel sighed looking at the map. Just then she got a brilliant silly idea of where to look. Running across the room she grabbed Dipper's luck dart (not really, she just calling it that for this particular moment). Closing her eyes she tossed the dart at the map. "No way!" Mabel gasped checking out where the dart landed. Mabel is quite certain that Dipper wasn't there, but maybe it could provide the key to finding him. The only question, is she desperate enough to do there? "Soos drop whatever it is you are doing!" she ordered. "I need you to drive me somewhere."

"Sure thing ham bone, where to?" Soos asked.

Mabel turned around and made a sour face. "To the one person that can possibly find my brother!" A few minutes later they arrived at their destination. "Keep the engine running this shouldn't take long," Mabel instructed as she exited the car. Knocking on the front door she was greeted by Buddy Gleeful.

"Why Mabel, this is an unexpected surprise," Buddy said inviting her in.

"Hello Mr. Gleeful," Mabel said looking around. "Is Gideon home?" Her answer came running into the living room.

"Why Mabel seeing you coming into my house on your own and willingly is such a gift," Gideon said joyfully. "So what brings you here?"

"I'm sure you heard that my brother is missing," Mabel started.

"Oh yes quite tragic, tragic indeed." Gideon pretending to feel bad about it.

"Yes well, I was wondering if you can use your psychic powers to help find my brother." Mabel begged.

"That's tough seeing as how you destroyed my bolo tie," Gideon reminded her. "But maybe if you agree to be mine then I might be able to help with your problem." Gideon winked at her.

"This was a mistake," Mabel whispered as she headed towards the door. "You know Gideon if you would have just help us out of the goodness of your heart, I might have thought better of you. But then again, I doubt there is any goodness in you to begin with." she said as she left.

It took Gideon a minute to process what Mabel just said. "Mabel wait!" Gideon called out but it was too late as he saw the car driving away. "NNNNoooo!" he screamed dropping to his knees realizing that he just threw away his best chance to win Mabel's heart.

* * *

-Meanwhile in the Forest-

"You seem in good spirits," Dipper commented seeing Pacifica unusually pleasant during their trek.

"Why shouldn't I be. We've been hiking all day and haven't encountered any weirdness." Pacifica replied. Dipper smiled as her statement. Agreeing that after all they've been through it was nice having a normal day. Or as close to normal as you can get being lost in the woods.

"Add the fact that we don't have to rough it any more. Speaking of which let's camp here tonight." Dipper suggested.

"Great now we get to try out our new stuff!" Pacifica said excitedly. After DNAmy abandoned her lab they found several camping gear inside. Naturally they wanted to take everything, but due to weight constraints (Dipper being a wimp and Pacifica refusing to carry anything unless necessary) they settled for the sleeping bags, matches, flashlight, bug repellent, and as much MREs as they could carry. Dipper quickly got a camp fire going thanks to the matches and cooked up some rations for dinner.

"Hey where did that little bird/gecko go?" Pacifica asked after noticing that the cockatrice was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh he turned back about over an hour or so ago," Dipper said. "I guess he didn't want to leave his home."

"Yeah I can relate, but you sound pretty calm about this." Pacifica said as she ate her food. "I would think that you would be a little more upset about losing your pet."

"He wasn't a pet, Pacifica. Besides it better this way. Can you imagine what would happen if I brought a cockatrice to Gravity Falls." Dipper said. They both shuddered at the thought but for different reasons. Pacifica imagining him as a giant monster turning everyone and everything into statues. While Dipper seeing Gruncle Stan caging and exploiting him as a Mystery Shack attraction. "I'm sure he'll be happier here," he added.

As the sun started to set they saw an eerie light off in the distance. "What is that?" Dipper wondered.

"Dipper, please I'm begging you. Can you just let this one go," Pacifica pleaded.

Dipper felt very conflicted; on one he really wanted to check out those lights, on the other hand saying no to Pacifica when she's making cute puppy dog eyes is almost impossible. "Sorry Pacifica but I just want to make sure it is safe," Dipper said as he headed off.

"Ugh, of all the people to be lost out in the wood with, I had to get stuck with a paranormal freak magnet!" Pacifica groaned as she got up to follow him.

"You don't have to come with me you know," Dipper said.

"What, you're going to leave a helpless girl all alone in the middle of the wood with not only lions, and tigers, and bears oh my. But a whole mess of crazy monsters as well!" Pacifica argued.

"Fair point," Dipper had to give her that. "Just stay close to me ok." He advised holding out his hand which she eagerly accepted. The two continued on until they reached the spot where several glowing lights floated around. "What is this place?" Dipper wondered.

"INTRUDERS! THE LIVING HAS DEFILED OUR SACRED RITUAL!" a ghostly voiced wailed. Dipper and Pacifica grasped each other in shock and terror as the glowing lights manifested into ghosts.

"We could have been sleeping right now in our new warm sleeping bags but nnnnooooo, you just had to see the pretty lights!" Pacifica ranted.

"Your right next time I listen to you," Dipper promised.

"You have entered our domain so now you will pay the price!" one of the ghost said.

"Wait!" one of the lights begged. "These are my friends! Well the boy is, not so sure about the girl." the light added as it became Tyrone.

"Tyrone! Is that really you!" Dipper gasped.

"In the flesh so to speak," Tyrone winked. "While I'm sure there's an interesting story how you and Pacifica ended up all the way out here. Alone! And hugging! But that's not important right now, you need to leave."

"I'm afraid they cannot do that," one of the ghost said. "They have seen what they shouldn't have and according to the law they must be punished!"

"Destroy them." "Devour their souls." "Send them into the abyss." the ghost all began chanting. "I am the Box Ghost! Fear me!" Suddenly all the ghost stopped chanting and turned to see who said that. "Um Beware," the Box Ghost whimpered cowering under the glares of everyone present.

"What are you doing here?" Tyrone asked. "You're not in this show! In fact you're not even on this network."

"Yeah but since my show got cancelled I was looking for another gig," Box Ghost explained. "So how about it? Can you guys hook me up?"

Dipper shook his head. "Sorry but we're union, if you want to work here you either have to be a member or pay the fee." Everyone showing him a copy of their union contract.

"For real!? Ah forget you guys! I'm going to see if cartoon network is hiring!" Box Ghost then flew off in a huff.

"Well that happened," Dipper quoted.

"So are we going to continue?" Tyrone felt a little awkward for asking.

"No I'm not feeling it," Pacifica complained. "Let's just skip this skit." The ghosts were debating this for a minute when a red dragon came flying out of the sky.

"Check it out the Am-Drag is in the hou-!" Jake announced only to be surprised to see that everyone was just standing around. "Hey what up yo? Are you two suppose to be running for you lives?"

"Yeah something came up so we're cancelling this segment," Dipper proceeded to tell him what happened.

"Ah man, one gate crasher ruined my groove," Jake moaned. Just then a small blue furry ball bounced off of Jake's head. "What the...Stitch what are you doing here?"

"He's suppose to be the next cameo we were going to do," Dipper explained.

"Rida me gista!" Stitch laughed.

"Hey, just because my scene was cut doesn't mean you can just barge in early!" Jake argued.

"Okay that's it!" Pacifica stomped. "We're cancelling the rest of these cameos!"

"Pacifica I don't think you have that authority..." Dipper started to say only to her cut him off.

"We're cancelling the rest!" Pacifica reiterated staring him down. "Got it!"

"Got it," Dipper whimpered. "You hear her guys."

"Alright whatev," Jake conceded. "Come on Stitch I'll give you a lift back to Japan." Stitch stuck his tongue out at Pacifica before jumping on Jack's back.

"Japan? I thought he lived in Hawaii." Pacifica wondered as the Jake flew off.

"Yeah but Japan made their own spin off series," Dipper explained. "I heard it was pretty good."

"Yeah in Japanese," Tyrone emphasized. "The English version however was dumb down a bit."

"Isn't that the case with every show they dub," Pacifica laughed.

"Pardon me but just to clarify, you won't be needing us anymore?" one of the ghost interrupted.

"Nope we're done," Dipper replied.

"So now what are we going to do?" another ghost asked.

"Um, I hear there's a party at Grant's tomb," Tyrone suggested.

"PARTY TIME!" the ghost cheered as they headed out.

"A party? Great, I'm so there!" Pacifica announced.

"Sorry but there's a strict no flesh policy at ghost parties," Tyrone informed her. "But if you really want to go, that can be easily rectified."

"On second though I think it's way passed my curfew," Pacifica said with a jitter. This is probably the first time in her life that she didn't want to go to a party.

"Figured as much," Tyrone laughed. "Anyway town is about two miles in that direction. You should be able to make it by tomorrow."

"Thanks Tyrone," Dipper said waving goodbye as Tyrone joined the other ghosts. "Come on only two miles left and we're home!" he said excitedly taking one step in the direction Tyrone pointed.

"Where do you think you are going," Pacifica said pulling him back. "Our camp is that way and I still need my beauty sleep!" Dipper wanted to argue but he did promise to do whatever she wanted.


	16. Chapter 15 alternate

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

**A/N: This is just a rewrite of my previous chapter. Mainly because I wanted to bring Mabel a bit more into this story. I'll be holding a poll to see which version you prefer. So please vote, I be deleting one after a week or so.**

Mabel took a deep breath as finished putting on the last touches on her latest sweater. Giving herself a quick once-over before grabbing her hat and heading downstairs to meet with the troops. In the livingroom she spotted her friends waiting patiently for her arrival. "ATTENTION! Everyone fall in!" Mabel called to order. Responding quickly to her command, they all lined up standing at attention. "Gentlemen I don't think I need to remind you what's at stake here." Mabel paused seeing Wendy raising her hand. "Yes Sargent Wendy."

"Um Mabel you do know that we're all girls," Wendy pointed out. "Except Soos and Waddles I think," she quickly corrected herself.

"Irrelevant! And that's General Pines! See!" Mabel said showing off her uniform sweater.

"Mabel," Candy started. "I mean General, you do know that's an Admiral uniform."

Mabel looked dumbfounded but quickly shook it off. "I-Ir-Irrelevant!" Mabel screamed. "Now to business. First I want an update on your progress, Soos!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" Soos saluted. "My Dipper detector is almost completed. I should have it ready by the end of the week." Soos showing her what looks like a flashlight with a calculator duck-taped on to it.

"Have it ready by tomorrow! No excuses!" Mabel ordered, much to Soos's dismay. "Candy!"

"I check out the game center and the comic stores, but no one seen your brother." Candy reported. Mabel walked over to the map of the town and 'X' out the places they've searched.

"Grenda!"

"I interrogated several students but most don't even know who Dipper is." Grenda reported. "Also that Pacifica is still missing as well."

Mabel tried to keep a brave face as she continued to cross out places on the map. "Wendy?" she asked desperately.

"I check out the train and bus stations, so far no one matching Dipper or Pacifica has been seen using the trains or buses recently," Wendy said sadly. "Robbie and the others promised to keep an eye out for them," Wendy assured her.

"Private Waddles," Mabel turning to her pet pig. Waddles started snorting something. "So that's a negative on the town dump." Mabel sighed crossing that out as well. "Alright troops, my brother is still MIA. We all know where he is not so go searching where he might be! Dismissed!" Mabel ordered. The girls headed out the door while Soos went to the kitchen 'work' on his Dipper detector. "Where are you?" Mabel sighed looking at the map. Just then she got a brilliant silly idea of where to look. Running across the room she grabbed Dipper's luck dart (not really, she just calling it that for this particular moment). Closing her eyes she tossed the dart at the map. "No way!" Mabel gasped checking out where the dart landed. Mabel was quite certain that Dipper wasn't there, but it could provide the key to finding him. The only question, is she desperate enough to do there? "Soos drop whatever it is you are doing!" she ordered. "I need you to drive me somewhere."

"Sure thing ham bone, where to?" Soos asked.

Mabel turned around and made a sour face. "To the one person that can possibly find my brother!" A few minutes later they arrived at their destination. "Keep the engine running this shouldn't take long," Mabel instructed as she exited the car. Knocking on the front door she was greeted by Buddy Gleeful.

"Why Mabel, this is an unexpected surprise," Buddy said inviting her in.

"Hello Mr. Gleeful," Mabel said looking around. "Is Gideon home?" Her answer came running into the living room.

"Why Mabel seeing you coming into my house on your own and willingly is such a gift," Gideon said joyfully. "So what brings you here?"

"I'm sure you heard that my brother is missing," Mabel started.

"Oh yes quite tragic, tragic indeed." Gideon pretending to feel bad about it.

"Yes well, I was wondering if you can use your psychic powers to help find my brother." Mabel begged.

"That's tough seeing as how you destroyed my bolo tie," Gideon reminded her. "But maybe if you agree to be mine then I might be able to help with your problem." Gideon winked at her.

"This was a mistake," Mabel whispered as she headed towards the door. "You know Gideon if you would have just help us out of the goodness of your heart, I might have thought better of you. But then again, I doubt there is any goodness in you to begin with." she said as she left.

It took Gideon a minute to process what Mabel just said. "Mabel wait!" Gideon called out but it was too late as he saw the car driving away. "NNNNoooo!" he screamed dropping to his knees realizing that he just threw away his best chance to win Mabel's heart.

Mabel cried the entire way back to the Mystery 'S'hack. Soos suggested that they stop for ice cream hoping to calm the girl down but the mention of ice cream reminded her of when Dipper bought her ice cream. Which happen to be the last time she saw him. That made her cry even louder. After returning home Mabel dropped onto the couch. "Think Mabel," she said to herself. "Dipper is counting on you! If you were missing how would he look for you?" she pondered. "First: he would make a silly list of things to do. Next: he would look for clues. Finally: he would piece everything together and solve the mystery!" Mabel jumped up with excitement knowing what it is she has to do!

Later that day she recalled everyone back to the Mystery 'S'hack. Assembling in the shop was Candy, Grenda, Waddles, Soos, Wendy, Robbie, and their teenage friends. "Now I'm sure you all know why I call you all here," Mabel announced.

"No not really," Robbie replied. Truthfully he didn't. Wendy just dragged him in after getting the call from Mabel without explaining why.

"I think I may have found a clue to where Dipper might be," Mabel turned their attention to the map. "Alright we are here at the Mystery 'S'hack. And Dipper was here at the Northwest estate. Finally he was last seen here at the ice cream shop." Mabel pointing to the locations on the map.

"Okay so how does that help us?" Wendy asked not really getting it.

"Soos," Mabel calling him up. Soos approached the map with a giant homemade compass and began drawing three circles using the locations Mabel pointed out as the center. "You see it!"

"I still don't get it," Grenda said scratching her head.

"There!" Mabel said pointing to where the three circles intersect. The town cemetery.

"Um, Mabel you just triangulated that location there's no reason to believe that your brother is there," Candy pointed out.

"Oh he's there all the evidence proves it," Mabel said sounding sure of herself. "See for yourself!" Mabel presented them pictures of Dipper around town with the cemetery always in the background, the latest issue of his favorite occult magazine with an article on tombs, and a dead spider she found in their room.

"Can't argue with the evidence," Wendy said not really buying it but knew that Mabel had to see this through even if it is a dead end. (bad choice of words)

Despite protests from Thompson. They all took his van to the cemetery. Except Soos, who stayed behind to continue to working on his Dipper detector. As they searched the cemetery Mabel kept them running around because she kept finding clues that weren't there. Like when she found five tombstones in a row where the first letters spelled D.P.I.E.R. Or a spider web shaped like an arrow next to a dripping faucet. But as the sun started to set everyone began demanding that they stop. Even she had to admit that this was a bust. "Alright guys that's enough. He's not here."Mabel conceded.

"Don't worry Mabel we'll find him," Wendy comforting the little girl. As the group prepared to leave the cemetery several eerie lights began rise out of the graves. Even more lights came flying in from every direction.

"Oh man oh man what is going on here!?" Robbie demanded.

"INTRUDERS! THE LIVING HAS DEFILED OUR SACRED RITUAL!" a ghostly voiced wailed. Everyone grasped each other in a group hug as the glowing lights manifested into ghosts.

"You have entered our domain so now you will pay the price!" one of the ghost said.

"Wait!" one of the lights begged. "These are my friends! Well, except for him." the light added as it turned into Tyrone pointing at Robbie.

"Dipper!" everyone yelled.

"You! Why is it when you're around weird things happen?" Robbie said trying to grab Tyrone. Only to have his hands pass through him. "What the?"

"Dipper are you dead?" Mabel started crying.

"Dead yes, Dipper not quite. My name is Tyrone." Tyrone winked. "There's actually an interesting story how and why I look like him, but that's for another time. Right now you need to leave."

"I'm afraid they cannot do that," one of the ghost said. "They have seen what they shouldn't have and according to the law they must be punished!"

"Destroy them." "Devour their souls." "Send them into the abyss." the ghost all began chanting. "I am the Box Ghost! Fear me!" Suddenly all the ghost stopped chanting and turned to see who said that. "Um beware," Box Ghost whimpered under the glares of everyone.

"What are you doing here?" Tyrone asked. "You're not in this show! In fact you're not even on this network."

"Yeah but since my show got cancelled I was looking for another gig," Box Ghost explained. "So how about it? Can you guys hook me up?"

Tyrone shook his head. "Sorry but we're union, if you want to work here you either have to be a member or pay the fee." Everyone showing him a copy of their union card.

"Are you for real!? Ah forget you guys! I'm going to see if cartoon network is hiring!" Box Ghost then flew off in a huff.

"Well that happened," Mabel quoted.

"So are we going to continue?" Tyrone felt a little awkward for asking.

"No I'm not feeling it," Tambry complained.

"Yeah man I've had enough of ghosts," Nate agreed.

"Let's just skip this skit." Lee suggested. The ghosts were debating this for a minute when a red dragon came flying out of the sky.

"Check it out the Am-Drag is in the hou-!" Jake announced only to be surprised to see that everyone was just standing around. "Hey what up yo? Aren't you guys suppose to be you know running for you lives?"

"Yeah something came up so we're cancelling this segment," Mabel proceeded to tell him what happened.

"Ah man, one gate crasher ruined my groove," Jake moaned. Just then a small blue furry ball bounced off of Jake's head. "What the...Stitch what are you doing here?"

"He's suppose to be the next cameo we were going to do," Mabel explained.

"And so another annoying has-been shows up," Tambry text on her phone.

"Rida me gista!" Stitch laughed.

"Hey, just because my scene was cut doesn't mean you can just barge in early!" Jake argued.

"Okay that's it!" Mabel stomped. "This is getting too ridiculous even for me! We're cancelling the rest of these cameos!"

"Um Mabel I don't think you have that authority..." Wendy started to say only to be cut off.

"We're cancelling the rest!" Mabel reiterated staring down everyone. "Anyone got a problem with that!"

"Oh no. No problem at all." Everyone said shaking their heads.

"Alright whatev," Jake conceded. "Come on Stitch I'll give you a lift back to Japan." Stitch stuck his tongue out at them before jumping on Jack's back.

"Japan? I thought he lived in Hawaii." Grenda wondered as the Jake flew off.

"Yeah but Japan made their own spin off series," Mabel explained. "I heard it was pretty good."

"Yeah in Japanese," Candy emphasized. "The English version however was dumb down a bit."

"Isn't that the case with every show they dub," Wendy laughed.

"Pardon me but just to clarify, you won't be needing us anymore?" one of the ghost interrupted.

"Nope we're done," Mabel replied.

"So now what are we going to do?" another ghost asked.

"Um, I hear there's a party at Grant's tomb," Tyrone suggested.

"PARTY TIME!" the ghost cheered as they headed out.

"A party? Great, we so there!" Wendy and her friends cheered.

"Sorry but there's a strict no flesh policy at ghost parties," Tyrone informed her. "But if you really want to go, that can be easily rectified."

"On second though I think it's way passed my curfew," Wendy said with a jitter. This is probably the first time in their lives that they didn't want to attend a party.

"Figured as much," Tyrone laughed as he prepared to join the other ghosts.

"Wait!" Mabel cried. "So you really not Dipper?"

"No I'm not him. And he's not dead either. Trust me, if he was I'd be the first to know." Tyrone assured them before flying off. Mabel felt relieved after hearing that. Just knowing that her brother is still alive was enough to give her some peace of mind.

-Meanwhile in the Forest-

"You seem in good spirits," Pacifica said seeing Dipper seemingly skipping.

"Yes because I recognize these landmarks!" Dipper exclaimed. "We are almost home!"


	17. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"Admit it we're lost!" Pacifica said with a hint of annoyance.

"No we are not lost!" Dipper insisted looking at his map.

"Oh yeah then where are we? You promised that we would be home before lunch and what time is it! I don't know since I don't have a watch and my cell phone died three days ago!" Pacifica complained.

Dipper looked up at the sun. "It should be around 10:30-11:00ish. See it's not even lunch time."

Pacifica look up at the sun as well. Though she couldn't tell what time it is she could see that it wasn't noon. "Whatever, we're still lost!"

Dipper grumbled as he looked around at his surrounding. "No, I know exactly where we are," he said with a smile. Dipper led her to a hole on the ground. "If I'm right then this would be the dreaded Pain hole!"

"Pain hole?"

"Yeah it was part of my manly training with the Manotaurs," Dipper explained.

"What's a Man...you know what. I don't even want to know." Pacifica groaned. "So how do you know that this is your so called pain hole?" Dipper stuck his hand into the hole and let out a fearsome screams of pain (at least by Dipper's standards)! "I should have known," Pacifica falcepalming herself.

"WHO DARES STICK THEIR HAND IN OUR PAIN HOLE!" a monstrous voice roared as several Manotaurs closed in on them.

"Hey guys long time no see," Dipper said nervously.

"Hey it's uh who are you again?" Chutzpar asked scratching his head.

"It's me Dipper the Destructor," Dipper said but the Manotaurs just stared at him blankly. "Never mind," he sulked not wanting to be reminded of his time with them. "Look we're just passing through on our way back to town and..."

"You put your hand in the Pain Hole! Only members of our tribe can do that! Which means that you outsiders must be punished by Leaderaur!" Testosteraur interrupted.

"Whoa guys, look I was part of your tribe once," Dipper protested.

Chutzpar looked at Dipper curiously and took a big whiff of the boy. "Yeah there's something familiar about this boy. Didn't we have some human awhile back?" The other Manotaurs appeared dumbfounded not really sure if they did.

"If we did it sure wouldn't be this scrawny, hairless, wimp!" one of the Manotaurs declared.

"Hey!" Dipper objected only to be elbowed by Pacifica.

"Listen you oversized happy meals! If he said he's part of your tribe then he's part of your tribe!" Pacifica yelled.

The Manotaurs stared at Pacifica for a second before turning to Dipper. "Hey you, how call your self a man when you hide behind a girl!" the Manotaurs taunted.

"At least he has a girlfriend!" Pacifica shot back grabbing Dipper's arm. "And I can vouch that he's three times the man any of you are! Do any of you have a girl that can say the same?"

"Oh yeah...um well, your hair looks stupid!" Testosteraur yelled.

"It's comments like that why girls don't want to talk to you," Pacifica snuffed. Testosteraur looked like he was going to say something else but instead he just broke down crying! Soon the other Manotaurs began crying as well.

"What just happened?" Dipper asked.

"It's simple really. Overly testosterone men may act all macho, but they're cowards when it comes to dealing with women." Pacifica explained obviously enjoying tearing down the giant monsters' self-esteems.

"You really are wicked girl," Dipper said shaking his head.

"Why thank you," Pacifica smiled taking his comment as a compliment while still poking fun at the Manotaurs expense.

"Okay that's enough," Dipper said reeling her in. "You know it wouldn't hurt you to practice a little restraint, and a lot of humility."

"Why must you go and ruin my fun? And just when I'm just was starting to enjoy myself too. Besides who really cares if a bunch of beefed up beefs get their feelings hurt." Pacifica said in a haughty tone.

"Maybe but these are still twenty times our size, and I doubt you can survive a hit should one take a shot at you." Dipper warned.

"Who these guys? Oh please they won't do anything, because hitting a small defenseless lady is the most unmanly thing a guy could do." Pacifica laughed. After hearing that statement, the Manotaurs standing behind her suddenly froze. Desperately holding back the urge to smack her!

"She's right, striking a girl any girl is the most unmanliest thing any man can do!" Leaderaur declared as he picked up Pacifica and placed her gently on a cliff high above their heads. "However there is nothing more manlier than beating on a scrawny weakling!" Seeing that Pacifica was safely out of the way the Manotaurs began cracking their knuckles eager to take out all the frustrations they've been building up thanks to Pacifica on poor Dipper.

"Eep," Dipper squeaked as they all gathered around him. Closing his eyes he preparing for the worst, when suddenly they all heard a loud roar coming from the woods. To Dipper's amazement the Multi-bear came rushing in knocking two of the Manotaurs down.

"If you wish to harm this boy, you will have to go though us!" The Multi-bear said.

"Multi-bear you came to help me?" Dipper asked in astonishment.

"I owed you one my friend, and besides we BABBA fans must stick together." Multi-bear winked. Dipper smiled at this unexpected development as he prepared to face off against the Manotaurs. Knowing that they could never match the Manotuars in terms of brute strength. Dipper relied on his speed and agility to avoid getting hit, all the while using childish taunts and pranks to distract the Manotaurs giving Multi-bear the opening to strike! And thanks to the Multi-bear's multiple heads, he could keep track of everything going on warning Dipper when he's going to be blindsided. Before long the Manotaurs had enough and quickly retreated.

"Yeah you better run!" Dipper yelled after the Manotaurs as they fled. "Listen I want to thank you for your help." Dipper said to the Multi-bear.

"It was my pleasure. I've been looking to give those bullies some payback. But we should check on your friend." Multi-bear reminded him.

"Or right Pacifica!" Dipper hurried to cliff where Leaderaur. "Pacifica are you alright!"

"Fine fine," she scoffed. "If your not too busy can you please GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!"

"Sure right away," Dipper promised but not sounding too confident. Dipper quickly studied the rock formation that she was on. It was too steep to climb and she was too high up for Multi-bear to reach. So the only viable solution is to get a ladder of some sorts to help her down. Dipper and Multi-bear soon gathered a large log and placed it against mountain. Pacifica cautiously climbed down but due to the poor condition of the log she ended up falling about two-thirds of the way down. "Pacifica are you alright?" Dipper asked helping her back up.

"Ow! No I'm not!" she screamed. "Can't you see I'm bleeding here!" Pacifica pointed to some cuts on her arm.

"Oh man it," Dipper gasped as he took out his handkerchief to bandage her injuries. "I don't suppose you now the quickest way back to town?" he asked the Multi-bear who just stood there in a daze. "Uh Multi-bear?"

The bear just stood there sniffing Pacifica's wounds. "This scent, I know this scent. Your are of the Northwest clan!"

"Yeah so what," Pacifica retorted.

"The Northwest killed my brother, so now I shall have my revenge by killing you!" Multi-bear roared. The children gulped as they recalled the stuffed Multi-bear at the mansion's trophy room.

"Whoa there big buy, I understand what you're saying but this isn't the right!" Dipper pleaded. But the Multi-bear just ignored him and proceeded towards Pacifica who tried to back away only to be blocked off by the mountain. "Please stop she's not the one who killed your brother!" Dipper pleaded again.

"I matters not! I shall have blood for blood! If not the guilty party then one of his relatives will do!" Multi-bear growled pushing Dipper out of the way. "Now vengeance is mine!" Multi-bear raised his claws and quickly slashed at the girl!

Pacifica screamed in terror as the bear's claw drew closer. _"So this is how it ends. Killed by a giant multi-headed freaky bear,"_ Pacifica thought to herself. _"A bear huh, I never would have thought that this is what she meant when she said that a bear would be my destiny." _As she prepared for the inevitable, it happened. She didn't know how or when but at the last possible second Dipper appeared right in front of her taking the hit! "NO DIPPER!" she cried as she went over to his side. The Multi-bear, shocked at what he did, also rushed to check up on him as well. Dipper had a huge gash across his chest where the Multi-bear struck him and his breathing was shallow and raspy.

"Why? Why did you do it?" Multi-bear asked.

"Please I know your anger is justified but can you please spare her at least?" Dipper coughed.

Multi-bear leaned closer him and one of his bear heads began licking his wounds before turning to Pacifica. "I swore vengeance against your family for my brother's death, but I owe him my life," Multi-bear said pointing to Dipper. "So I as a favor to him shall spare yours for now, but never forget that he's the reason you still live. I certainly hope you appreciate what he's done for you, otherwise..." Multi-bear held his claws next to Pacifica's neck as a warning. Pacifica nodded nervously holding her breath, until Multi-bear pulled his claws away. Multi-bear's heads snapped at Pacifica before he headed of back into the woods.

After the Multi-bear left Pacifica turned to Dipper who seems to be breathing a little easier now. "Dipper are you alright?"

"Other than this searing pain in my chest, not bad actually," Dipper joked as he struggled to get back up.

"Say Dipper I just have to ask why? It's not like we're friends or anything. So..."

"Look even if I hated you I wouldn't just stand by and let you get killed Pacifica," Dipper said cutting her off.

"So are you saying you that you like me?" Pacifica said with shifty eyes.

"Well no not exactly...I mean I don't hate you...but you know the thing with you and Mabel...and there's Wendy..." Dipper blushed as he continued rambling.

Pacifica giggled lightly finding his embarrassment adorable. Not that she would tell him that. "Thank you for saving my life." she said gently.

"Any time,"Dipper said softly. The two stood there for awhile gazing deeply into each other's eyes. Little by little, inch by inch, they slowly made their way closer towards each other when...

"COME ON KISS HER ALREADY!" the Manotaurs started yelling. The two kids quickly turned to see the entire Manotaur herd as well as Multi-bear watching them from behind the trees.

"Great! Way to spoil the mood, idiots!" Multi-bear growled before leaving the scene.

After Multi-bear left Beardy pointed to Pubertaur and said "Ha ha, he called you idiots."

"No he called you idiots!" Pubertaur yelled punching Beardy.

"No you're the idiots!" Pituitaur yelled throwing a punch as well. Pretty soon all the Manotaurs were engaged in their favorite pastime of beating each other senseless. Not wanting to stay any longer Dipper and Pacifica quietly left and headed back to Gravity Falls.

* * *

Their trip back was surprisingly uneventful, and they soon found themselves in front of the Northwest Manor. "Well I brought you back safe and sound just like I promised," Dipper said proudly.

"Yes you're defiantly a man of your word," Pacifica said with deep admiration. "I can't wait take a bath and wash this whole experience out of my head."

"Yeah well then I just I'll be going now," Dipper said.

"Wait, are you sure you don't want to come inside and have Jeeves check on your wound?" Pacifica asked with great concern.

"No I'm fine," Dipper said showing her his wounds which are now covered with bear hair. "The combination of bear hair and saliva makes a great bandage and antiseptic," he explained. "Besides I really should be hurrying home. Mabel must really be worried about me."

"Oh okay," Pacifica sounding a bit disappointed. "Well then look before anything else happens." Pacifica drew closer and gave him a light kiss on the cheek before running into her house.

Dipper didn't know how long he just stood there. He just stood there completely baffled at what just happened. It wasn't because Pacifica kissed him again, well that was partly it. But it was mainly because he felt it! He remembered their first kiss and how he felt nothing from it and that was a deep kiss on the lips. This time she barely brushed his skin and yet it caused his heart skipping a beat! This left him wondering what it would feel like to share a real kiss with her this time around. He almost tempted to followed her back into her house but the sounds of familiar voices called him in another direction.

"My detector says he's this way," Soos pointed. Leading Mabel, Wendy, Robbie, and all their friends towards the Northwest manor.

"But why would Dipper be all the way back here?" Mabel wondered.

"How can that stupid contraption of yours tell you anything?" Robbie complained.

"You hear it beeping and look the lights are flashing in that direction," Soos argued.

"It's beeping because you taped a mini-alarmclock on it and the flashlight is flickering because, I don't know, maybe the batteries are dying!" Robbie ranted.

"Enough!" Mabel shouted. "I trust Soos and his Dipper detector! So if he it says my brother is that way then we'll look that way!"

"Man, why am I even out here?" Robbie grumbled.

"We're looking for Dipper," Wendy reminded him. She always knew that there's some animosity between Robbie and Dipper though she not really sure why, but she'd think that he would put that aside their petty rivalry since Dipper might be in danger.

"Did someone mention my name," Dipper said causally standing right where the detector was pointing.

"Ha I told you it works!" Soos gloated.

"DIPPER!" Mabel cried rushing over to her brother, giving him a big hug.

"Ow!" Dipper yelled out. "Mabel please!"

"Dipper, you're hurt!" Mabel cried.

"Yeah just a little accident," Dipper tried to laugh it off. But everyone was waiting for an explanation. "It's a long story," Dipper then gave a brief summary of how Pacifica was kidnapped all the way up to when he saved her from the bear. Of course he left out a few details like all the magical creatures they encountered. (He didn't want to look like he was making all this up after all)

"Whoa you went up against a bear," Thompson said with admiration.

"Oh Dude that is so awesome," Soos said.

"And you were lost in the woods with a girl!" Nate said giving him the thumbs up.

"Man not even Robbie has done anything remotely as cool as that," Lee praised.

"Oh come on he's obviously lying! He probably just fell down some stairs!" Robbie argued.

"He's not lying," Wendy said. "At least not about the bear." Everyone turned to her. "Yeah my dad picks fights with bears all the time. So yeah I can recognize a bear attack anywhere." Wendy explained. "Anyway we should get you to the hospital," Wendy said sternly. "Oh and by the way it's good to have you back," she then playfully punched him on the arm.

"Hey I'm injured here," Dipper laughed. "But it is good to be back," he added as he followed his friends to the hospital.


	18. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

Dipper slowly opened his eyes. "Wha...Where?!" he gasped in a slight panic not knowing where he was. As he tried to get up he felt a sharp pain on his chest. "Oh right," he winced. The pain reminded him that he was in the hospital. Last night when they brought him in, the doctors there stitched up his wounds then gave him some painkillers. While the doctors said that it's nothing serious, they still wanted to keep him overnight.

"Well look who's finally decided to wake up," the doctor said as he came into the room. "So how's our patient doing?"

"I'm doing great, never better!" Dipper insisted, even tried putting up a fake smile.

"I'll be the judge of that," the doctor said as he shoved a thermometer into Dipper's mouth. Then proceeded to check his blood pressure, eyes, and stitches. "Well no sign of infections or any other complications," the doctor confirmed after the tests. "Looks like the stitches are holding."

"So does that mean I go home now?" Dipper asked eagerly.

"Sure, I just need to fill out some paperwork. In the meantime looks like you have a guest." The doctor gestured over to the door when a familiar figure came walking in.

"Wendy!" Dipper yelped hiding underneath the bed sheet not wanting her to see him wearing nothing but a hospital gown.

"Hey Dipper, glad to see you back up and about!" Wendy giggled seeing him hide under his sheets.

"Wendy did you wait for me all night?" Dipper choked.

"Well not all night," Wendy confessed. "I just came in this morning."

"Is it just you?" Dipper asked disappointingly seeing no one else entering his room.

"What wrong? Am I not good enough? Or were you hoping for someone else? Like your girlfriend." Wendy teased making kissy noises.

"No, no!" Dipper blushed with embarrassment. "It's just I thought that Mabel and Gruncle Stan would be here."

"Yeah about Mabel," Wendy said sympathetically. "She waited here all night for you. She tried to stay up until you awoke, but she collapse from exhaustion about an hour ago. Soos just drove her home. As for Stan. He's in jail. Which is why I'm the only one here."

"Jail, for what?" Dipper demanded.

"Kidnapping Pacifica," Wendy went on to tell him about the Northwest's accusations for the disappearance of their daughter.

"That's ridiculous! I mean just because Gruncle Stan is a convicted felon in half a dozen different countries that no reason to suspect him!" Dipper paused for a second, listening to what he just said. "Yeah that didn't come out right."

"I'm sure they'll let him out now that Pacifica is back and safe," Wendy reassured him. "So are you free to leave the hospital?"

"Yeah, the doctor gave me a clean bill of heath," Dipper said putting up a bravado pose.

"Great! Hurry up and get dress and I'll take you home," Wendy said tossing him his clothes that were on the doctor's desk. As Dipper took his shorts, he felt something in one of his pockets. Examining inside, he pulled out some long forgotten cash! "Whoa, where did you get all that loot?" Wendy asked.

"It's the money Pacifica paid me when I went to work for her," Dipper explained. Dipper looking at Wendy he remembered that the reason he endured working for Pacifica was/is to get money to date Wendy. Even though he spent a bit of it on Mabel, he still had a good chunk remaining. Dipper gulped nervously as he analyzed the situation; he has money, his family are otherwise preoccupied, and he's alone with the girl of his dreams! This set up is almost too perfect. All he had to do is ask her. Dipper took a deep breath trying to muster all the courage he could. "Say Wendy, before we head back to the Mystery Shack, would you uh you know like to hang out somewhere first. My treat."

"Shouldn't you be saving that for your girlfriend?" Wendy asked.

"Pacifica isn't really my girlfriend. In fact she's not really a friend. She just offered me a paying job. She just says she's my girlfriend to tick Mabel off." Dipper laughed.

"Really," Wendy eyed him mischievously. "Sure why not. I didn't feel like going back to work anyway."

"Great!" Dipper cheered as he jumped out of bed. "Uh Wendy could you please..."

"Oh right," Wendy blushed realizing what he's implying. "I'll wait for you out by the car," Wendy said.

"Wait you already have a drivers license?" Dipper asked knowing that she was only 15.

"Nope," she answered playfully as she left.

"Okay I'll see you soon," Dipper waved to her. "I love you," he whispered soon after she was gone. Dipper slowly changed into his old clothes. Even though the doctors said he was fine, it still hurts to move too much too quickly. By the time he was done the door open again.

"Hello Dipper," Pacifica said as she entered the room. "The doctors said you were up."

"Ah! Pacifica, what are you doing here?" Dipper asked glad that he just finished dressing.

"I just came to see how you were doing and to give you a little get well gift," she grinned suspiciously.

"Get well gift?" Dipper wondered.

"Call it thanks for looking out for me while we were out there," Pacifica said with a wink. "But I've convinced my parents to pay for your hospital bills."

"Thanks," Dipper said with appreciation. "I'm sure my Gruncle will be glad that he doesn't...Gruncle Stan! Please you've got to drop charges against him!"

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure all that misunderstanding will all be cleared up of soon," Pacifica assured him. "So do you need a ride home?"

"Uh no thanks. Wendy is waiting to take me back." Dipper said.

"Wendy huh," Pacifica stared at him. "I bet you're planing on making a few detours on your way back to the Mystery Shack?"

"Uh well I..." Dipper stuttered avoiding eye contact.

Pacifica grinned as she handed him some cash. "Here you're probably going to need this."

"Thanks," Dipper said accepting the money. "Does this mean I'm finally ready to date her?"

"Not by a long shot," Pacifica snickered.

"Hey, what is that suppose to mean?" Dipper skulked. "What's wrong?"

"I could give you a list," Pacifica waved him off. "A really, really, really long list but somehow I'm sure you won't be convinced until you've fail again. And fail you will. Utterly and miserably." Pacifica added. "Well I shouldn't keep you from your date. Be sure to let me know how it turns out." Pacifica blew him kiss before leaving.

"Hey wait up!" Dipper demanded but by the time he went out the door she was gone. Dipper groaned with frustration, still concern with what Pacifica said to him. But Dipper just shook all disturbing thoughts out of his head and hurried to where Wendy was waiting for him.

The first place Wendy and Dipper went to was an outlet store so they can get him some new clothes since his old ones were torn up by the his trek through the woods. He also bought a new outfit for Wendy as well. The next place they went to was The Club, mainly because Dipper was feeling hungry since he slept through breakfast. Naturally he wanted to impress her so he ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Well the most expensive that he afford without spending all his cash. After all he didn't want their 'date' to end with just brunch. As the waiter headed towards the kitchen Pacifica called his attention. "My I help you madam?" the waiter asked.

"I just want to know that couple ordered," Pacifica said pointing to Dipper and Wendy.

"Oh they ordered two of our special freshly boiled Maine Lobsters," the waiter answered.

"Figured he'd go big," Pacifica giggled. "Might I recommended that you make the lobsters super fresh," Pacifica instructed with a wink. "Oh and I'll have the lobster as well."

"Of course madam," the waiter winked as well. This isn't the first time Pacifica has made special alteration to people's orders, and while the staff tended to feel bad for her victims. They also know that when all is said and done, she's going to be leaving them a very generous tip.

Dipper breathed a sigh of relief. So far things have been going well. Wendy seemed rather impressed with his order, even complimented on him being a big shot. Now as they were waiting for their food, they were engaged in small talk. Mainly about what Dipper was doing out in the woods alone with Pacifica. Dipper decided not to hold anything back and tell her everything including the craziness he encountered. Hoping to impress her further. Wendy just smiled and nodded during his tale, seemingly fascinated but on the fence about believing him of not. Soon their food arrived and to their shock and disbelief the lobsters were still alive!

"Whoa! When they say fresh they really mean fresh," Wendy laughed as she poked her lobster with her fork. The lobster in turn retaliated by snapping back at her.

"Yeah," Dipper laughed nervously. Staring at his lobster who was giving him the 'try it and you die' look. Now Dipper has heard that some places actually serve animals live as a delicacy but he'd never thought Gravity Falls was one of those places. Needless to say neither one would eat their lobsters. So Dipper, much to his embarrassment but wanting to play it safe, just ordered some burgers from the kids menu. The next stop on their 'date' was the lake, where the two gave the lobsters their freedom. As they watched the two lobsters swimming away, Dipper began reminiscing about some of his adventures on the lake. Once again Wendy wasn't sure if he was being serious or not but she decided to humor him. Afterwards the two drove around town looking for some fun when they ran into Robbie.

"Hey gorgeous," Robbie greeted his girlfriend. "And pest," he snarled at Dipper.

"Come on Robbie be nice," Wendy scolded him. "He just got out of the hospital."

"Yeah, yeah," Robbie sulked. "Oh by the way I got these coupons for free admission to that new Roller Skating ring!" Robbie happily showing her the coupons. "You want to go?"

"You mean it's finally open! Aw man I've been dying to go there!" Wendy exclaimed. She was about ready to accept his offer when she remembered Dipper. "Oh I better get this little guy home first."

"What but Wendy these coupons are only valid until noon," Robbie pointed out. "There's no way you can get him back to the Shack and back here in time!"

"Well I can just leave him alone," Wendy thought about it for awhile. "Let's take him with us," she suggested.

"What!? I only have two coupons! And I can't afford to pay his admission." Robbie argued.

"Oh don't worry about that. Dipper here has plenty of cash." Wendy assured him. The two boys glared at each other. Both more than willing duke it out, when all of a sudden Dipper felt a sharp pain in his chest.

"Hey Dipper are you all right?" Wendy asked seeing Dipper struggling.

"Oh I'm fine," Dipper insisted trying to put up a brave face. "So shall we go."

Needless to say Dipper got stuck paying for himself while Wendy and Robbie got in for free. Once they got inside the pain in his chest was becoming unbearable so he decided to not to push it. Luckily for him there was a snack bar there for him to lounge in. Buying himself some soda he hoped to drink away his pain. But seeing Wendy happily skating with Robbie wasn't helping any. He wanted to leave but without Wendy he had no ride, and by the looks of things she might not want to go any time soon. Dipper was considering just getting a cab when he heard a familiar voice calling him.

"Dipper fancy meeting you here," Pacifica said.

"Pacifica!" Dipper exclaimed. "No offense but why do I get the feeling that this isn't a coincidence."

"Well that could be because I was looking for you," Pacifica said innocently. "You left this at the hospital," She said handing him a small bag. Inside the bag Dipper found a bottle of pills. "That's your painkiller medicine," Pacifica explained.

Dipper groaned with frustration. He couldn't believe that he did something so stupid like forgetting his medicine. "Thanks Pacifica," Dipper thanked as he swallowed one of the pills.

"Don't mention it," Pacifica grinned. She thought back at the hospital when she paid for his medical bills. The doctors also gave her the medicine and told her that he'd have to take one in a few hours otherwise he'd be hurting a lot. She was going to give it to him immediately but after learning about his 'date' she decided to let him suffer a bit. Not only did she sabotage his brunch but she's also the one who provided Robbie with the coupons. Without him knowing where they came from of course. After all she couldn't risk Robbie accidentally saying something that could ruin her plans. "So how are you feeling?" Pacifica asked.

"Better actually," Dipper said.

"So are you going to go skating?" Pacifica asked.

Dipper looked out onto the ring where he saw Wendy laughing and having fun with Robbie instead of him. "No, I'm just going to go home," he finally said sadly.

"That's probably for the best," Pacifica said. "This medicine is known to cause drowsiness. So since your ride is otherwise preoccupied. Do you need a lift?"

Dipper wanted to say no but he started to feel woozy from the medicine. "Sure why not," he agreed. The two got up and left the skating ring without saying a word to Wendy or Robbie or leaving them a message.

During the car ride back to the Mystery 'S'hack Dipper turned to Pacifica. "Hey Pacifica, what's wrong with me?" he asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Pacifica asked.

"Back at the hospital you said I wasn't ready to date Wendy. After what happened I can't help but wonder, what am I doing wrong?" Dipper begged.

"Dipper darling," Pacifica said with great sympathy in her voice. "What is it you want from Wendy?"

"Huh?" Dipper said in confusion.

"Let me answer that. What you want to have a romantic relationship with her, right" Pacifica responded.

"Of course! What's the point of dating if it's not romantic!" Dipper preached.

"And there in lies your problem," Pacifica said calmly. "Dipper you are surprisingly mature for your age but you are also very naive about a lot of things. You desire meaningful relationship, but she's only wants for cheap thrills. You honestly think she's in love with Robbie. Heck no! Wendy would date anyone on a whim."

"No! You're wrong about her!" Dipper protested.

Pacifica grinned, "Am I? Just ask any of her ex-boyfriends. Boy the stories they can tell you about how she dated and dumped them. It's shocking even to me. Some actually think that she's still their girlfriend."

"What am I going to do?" Dipper whispered.

"You can continue trying to win her over. Who knows you might be the lucky one that finally gets the girl." Pacifica suggested. "Or you can give up on Wendy and find someone else. Someone who's willing give you what you desire." Pacifica leaned closer to Dipper's face so that their lips were only a few centimeters apart. Dipper began sweating with anticipation but before anything could happen, the car pulled up to the Mystery 'S'hack. "The choice is yours," Pacifica said pulling back without doing anything to him.

Dipper exited the car and walked into the Shack where he was greeted by his sister. Mabel was overjoyed to see her brother again but at the same time disturbed to see Pacifica there. Mabel quickly ran straight towards Pacifica's car. "What did you do to my brother?!" she demanded.

"Whatever do you mean?" Pacifica asked.

"Dipper is depressed about something and I know that you're the cause of it!" Mabel accused.

"Why would I do anything to your brother?" Pacifica scoffed. "I love him! It's you I hate!" With that her car drove off leaving behind a very confused and concern Mabel.

"She loves him?"


	19. Chapter 18

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"_Did she say she loved him?" _Mabel wondered as she watched Pacifica's car driving away. _"No she must have been lying! Yes, this is another one of her tricks! But if that is the case then is Dipper in some kind of trouble?"_ Mabel hurried back into the 'S'hack where she found her brother watching some TV.

"Hey Mabel what's wrong?" Dipper asked seeing the intensity in her face.

"Dipper I just want to know is there something going on between you and Pacifica? Something that you are not telling me!" Mabel asked practically getting right into Dipper's face.

"Um...uh" Dipper slowly backed away from his sister, wanting to choose his words carefully. But before he could say anything they heard the sounds of the police sirens blaring outside. A few seconds later Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland can busting in. "Hey what's the big idea!" Dipper demanded.

"Sorry kids but we're on the look out," Sheriff Blubs answered.

"Yeah that no good varmint Stan Pines just escaped from jail," Deputy Durland added.

"Right, so we came here to see if you seen him," Sheriff Blubs said staring down on the kids.

"I haven't seen him in days," Dipper said honestly. "Mabel?" he turned to his sister nervously since Dipper didn't know what's been happening during his trek through the woods.

"Not since you came to arrest him," Mabel said with hint of animosity.

"Now you kids wouldn't be lying to us?" Sheriff Blubs said in a threatening tone.

"Just what are you implying at?" Dipper challenged. "Besides you should have already heard that Gruncle Stan wasn't responsible for Pacifica's disappearance!"

"Really we haven't heard anything about that," Deputy Durland said scratching his head in confusion.

"Look we're not implying anything," Blubs clarified. "We just want to know if he's here."

"Well he's not okay," Mabel insistent putting up her serious face.

"Alright just let us if you hear from him," The two law officers left after that. As the police car drove off, some of the floor boards opened up and a head poked out.

"Are they gone?" Stan asked crawling out of his secret compartment

"Gruncle Stan!" the twins cheered as they tackled their great uncle.

"It's so good to see you again! We've missed you." Mabel said happily.

"Yeah it's great to see you gremlins again as well," Stan said. "Especially this guy!" Stan rubbing Dipper's head.

"Thanks Gruncle Stan but what were you doing down there?" Dipper asked.

"Hiding from the cops after I escaped from prison," Stan shivered. "It was just so horrible I couldn't take another minute of it in there! Prison is the worst thing I ever experienced in my life!"

"But Gruncle Stan you've been to jail before," Dipper pointed out. "Lots of times."

"Not for a crime I didn't commit! This was the first time I was ever innocent!" Stan clarified. "Man I'm starting to see why all those people I framed swore vengeance upon me."

"Well you won't have to worry about that. Now that Pacifica is back, I'm sure this whole mess will be cleared up soon." Dipper said.

"Phew that's a relief," Stan said. "So what have you knuckle heads been up to while I was rotting away in prison?"

The two kids recounted their adventures, including the weird stuff, but Stan merely waved that off as the kids' crazy imagination. After story time Stan stated that he wanted to get back to work. In which Dipper began playing off his injuries, saying that he needs plenty of bed rest or else his wounds might reopen. Stan, naturally, accused Dipper of faking his injuries as a way to get out of work. Surprisingly Mabel also sided with Stan, practically calling him a lazy slacker. So Dipper took off his shirt and showed them his scars and stitches. To which nearly caused both of them to hurl. Convinced that he wasn't lying, Stan allowed Dipper to take the next few days off. Mainly because he was afraid of the medical bills he'd receive if he needed to bring Dipper back to the hospital.

As Dipper entered his bedroom he sat down at the window sill. He wanted to go out the roof but didn't want to chance it. Dipper sighed sadly as he stared out in the direction of the Northwest Manor. Contemplating what Pacifica said about Wendy and of her proposal. So far all of his attempts to win Wendy over has failed. On the bright side it seems that he is securely placed in the friend-zone with her. Especially with Wendy treating him more like a little brother. Still that's not what Dipper wants and from the looks of things Wendy has no interest in pursuing a real relationship. Maybe perhaps he should consider finding another. Pacifica maybe? He had to admit that during their time together he has been finding that spoiled brat very intriguing even fun at times. On the other hand he's seen how ruthless and manipulative she could be, so he is also wary of her. For all his detective intuition he can't for the life of him tell if she's lying or not. Truth be told he kind of hoping that she is lying because ever since he first agreed to go with this scheme of her's; he secretly prepared a 'List of mean things to do to Pacifica if she tries anything to either me or Mabel'. But if she's not lying, can he really bring himself to break her heart? While he's at it, if he chooses to date her will Mabel understand and be supportive, or will is threaten their relationship?

"_Relationships sure are complicated huh Dipper,"_ a ghostly voice whispered in his ear.

"Tyrone!" Dipper jumped. "I've asked you before. Please don't do that!"

"_Sorry pal,"_ Tyrone apologized. _"It the whole ghost thing. So you want to talk about it?"_ Dipper told Tyrone of his dilemma. To which Tyrone just stared at him dumbfounded. _"Dipper, are you an idiot! This is Pacifica were talking about! You know Mabel's archenemy!"_

"I know Tyrone," Dipper sighed.

"_And what about Wendy? After all that's happened between us you're just going to toss her aside!"_ Tyrone asked.

"No, it's not like that Tyrone," Dipper said softly. Dipper thought back to all the times he hung out with Wendy. How she always made him feel giddy and nervous every time he spoke to her, but above all how just being near her always made him feel well, good. Then he looked down at his palm and recalled when he and Pacifica held hands. "It's just that when I'm with Pacifica it just feels right."

"_I give up!"_ Tyrone yelled throwing his arms up in frustration. _"If you want to go out with that she-demon fine! But when she rips out your heart and grinds it up into dust right in front of your face; don't come crying to me!"_ With that Tyrone flew out the window.

"Tyrone wait!" Dipper called out to his ghostly clone to no avail. When Tyrone didn't return, Dipper crawled into bed to try and get some sleep. But feeling a tad restless after his talk with Tyrone, Dipper just laid there sulking. A few minutes later, Mabel came busting in.

"Hey Dipper!" Mabel yelled until she saw that he was in bed. "Oops did I wake you?"

"No, no I wasn't asleep," Dipper said grabbing the nearest magazine. "I was just catching up on my reading."

"Gold chains for old men magazine?" Mabel said in confusion after reading the magazine cover.

"It's a good issue," Dipper said quickly.

Mabel eyed him suspiciously as her twin-sense began tingling, telling her that something is wrong. "So Dipper can we talk?"

"Oh course," Dipper said staring at the magazine to avoid eye contact.

"I just want to know what's going on between you and Pacifica?" Mabel said. "You've been acting strange ever since you started working for her. Is she doing something mean to you. Is she using some evil magic charm to turn you into her monkey-slave!" Mabel's mind began to wander into weird territory as she imagined Pacifica strapping Dipper to some kind of brainwashing machine and then transforming Dipper into a monkey wearing a bellhop uniform.

"Come on Mabel, if Pacifica has any mystic charms she would have use them on you," Dipper argued. "And no, there's nothing like that happening. She's just a spoiled rich brat that I'm working for that's all." he insisted.

"Then Dipper can you please just quit?" Mabel pleaded. "I don't like the idea of you spending so much time with her."

Dipper glanced at his empty pocket in his vest where he used to keep his book 3. If it weren't for that he probably would have quit a long time ago. Probably? "I'm sorry Mabel but she pays really well, and you know I could use the money."

"MONEY!" Mabel screeched. "Dipper, money is not that important!"

* * *

*Meanwhile downstairs*

"Ow!" Stan fell down in great pain grasping his chest. "What was that? It felt like someone near and dear to me just stabbed me right into the very center of my soul!"

* * *

*Now back to the twins*

"It's not just about the money! It's..." Dipper paused for a minute. Not wanting to let his sister know that he lost his book to Pacifica. "You just wouldn't understand!" Dipper help the magazine in front of his face pretending to read it.

"Fine!" Mabel screamed as she stormed out the door. Mabel continued rumbling and grumbling nonstop until she bumped into Soos.

"Hey there half pint," Soos greeted. "Is there something wrong?"

"Something wrong," Mabel started foaming at the mouth. Soos slowly back away in terror until Mabel seemly regain her composure. "No nothing's wrong Soos," Mabel said in her usual cheerful tone.

"Phew, that's a relief," Soos said wiping off his sweat. "But if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask."

"Well actually..." Mabel smiled preparing to take advantage of Soos's offer.

* * *

-Later in Gravity Falls shopping center-

Pacifica happily exited the store followed by her henchgirls carrying over a dozen boxes and bags each. "It feels so good to be back in civilization. I can't believe so much has changed during my long absence." Pacifica said dramatically as she continued to admire her purchases. "PACIFICA!" she heard Mabel's voice screaming for her. Pacifica turned to the direction of Mabel's voice and saw the pesky girl running straight towards her. "Hmph leave it to Mabel to spoil my good mood," Pacifica sneered before instructing her girls to drop off her things in her limo. After all if Mabel is here for the reason she thinks she's here then Pacifica knew that she would have to deal with this alone.

"Pant-pant-ph-pa-Pacifica!" Mabel gasped trying to catch her breath.

"Mabel, to what do I owe this displeasure," Pacifica said coldly.

"I want you to stop doing whatever it is you are doing to my brother?" Mabel demanded.

"Why what ever do you mean?" Pacifica shrugged.

"Listen I may not know what's going on but I do know that something has been bothering him ever since he started working for you! So I know that somehow someway you are responsible for it!" Mabel said.

Pacifica started laughing taking amusement in Mabel's accusations. "If that is true Mabel then why doesn't he just quit? After all you saw that I already paid him, heck I even paid for his hospital bill. So there's nothing really holding him back, is there?" Pacifica challenged.

Mabel thought back to the discussion she had with Dipper earlier. He specifically said that there is a reason he's still with Pacifica. Ever since then Mabel has been scrambling her brain trying to figure that one clue that might explain everything. Her twin-sense kept telling her that the answer was right in front of her face...or rather right in front of his! Mabel suddenly realized that Dipper would never read that kind of magazine. Normally he would read one of his occult stuff or more likely...

"The book," Mabel gasped while mentally slapping herself for not noticing earlier. "You have his book!"

"Congratulation," Pacifica said accompanied with a slow clap. "You figured it out all on your own."

"Well I am the alpha twin after all," Mabel said proudly. "Ha I knew all that love stuff was a lie!"

"Is it Mabel?" Pacifica said with a hurtful expression. "Now it is true that I had planned on using you brother against you, but a lot happened when we were lost in the woods. I had a chance to see how wonderful he is. I mean he literally saved me from monsters. He even took a hit to protect me. He's like my dreamy knight in shining armor." Pacifica swooned like one of those lovesick fairytale princesses. "Is it really hard for you to believe that I might have genuinely fallen in love him?"

"Oh I know that my brother is a gallant knight, but you are no princess!" Mabel said not believing a word she said. "You're more like a-a-a-an evil queen keeping him on a leash so he can be your little bellhop monkey!"

"That doesn't even make any sense," Pacifica said not wanting to think about what weird imagery is going inside Mabel's brain.

"The point is if you truly love him then you'd give him the book back and let him go," Mabel said.

"Fine but can you?" Pacifica shot back.

"What?" Mabel tilted her head in confusion.

"What if hypothetically speaking, I give him the book back but he still wants to be with me. Can you let him go?" Pacifica challenged. "Or will you just spend your days banging your head on the totem pole like when you lost your little piggy."

"How did you know about that?" Mabel asked nervously.

"Oh your brother and I had plenty of time to get to know one another better. Like I said a lot happened." Pacifica lied. While it is true that Dipper has told her a few things during their trek. She actually learned about his and Mabel's time traveling adventures from the book. "It's quite sad really. Every time he comes so close to getting Wendy, he has to give up on her because of your selfish desire. Almost like since you haven't had an epic summer romance yet he can't either."

"No that's not true! I'm not trying or even want to prevent Dipper from getting together with Wendy or anyone else for that matter!" Mabel insisted. But Pacifica's words did hit a cord within her. Looking back at all the times Dipper sacrificed his chances with Wendy in order to help her get what she wanted. Mabel couldn't help but feel guilty that maybe it is her fault that Dipper isn't with the girl he loves. Plus the thought that maybe Dipper and Pacifica has gotten closer was too crazy for her to comprehend.

"Well, can you let him go?" Pacifica repeating herself.

"Fine if Dipper chooses to stay with you then I'll accept it. In fact I'll even knit a special 'Dipper's girlfriend' sweater for you." Mabel promised.

"No you don't have to do that," Pacifica cringed at the horrible thought of having to wear one of Mabel's ugly sweaters.

"But if he doesn't, then you still keep your promise to help him win Wendy," Mabel said crossing her arms as if she was daring Pacifica.

"Deal," Pacifica and Mabel shook on it. "I'll bring the book over tomorrow. Then we'll see who knows Dipper best!" Pacifica snapped her fingers in a smug fashion before walking off.

Mabel stood there silently glaring at her nemesis. Fully confident that Dipper wouldn't let her down especially if Soos manages to help get Dipper out of his slump.

* * *

*Back at the Mystery 'S'hack*

"Hey dude, I brought you a little snack if you're hungry," Soos announced as he entered the kids' room.

"Thanks Soos, but I'm not all that hungry." Dipper said still laying on his bed.

"Can I have it then?" Soos asked holding a tray of mainly cookies and chips.

"Help yourself," Dipper sulked.

Soos began chowing down on food before turning to his depressed young friend. "Hey what's wrong?"

Dipper sighed sadly, "Nothing...it's just...women." Dipper got up from his bed. "How do you know if she's the right one? I mean there's this one girl I've liked for a long time. She's very nice but she's not really interested in me, and then there's this other girl who's kind of mean but she seems to like me. How do I choose?"

"That's quite a conundrum to be sure," Soos said scratching his chin. "This is why they say that love is the cruelest of all emotions."

"I thought love is the greatest," Dipper interrupted.

"Nope it's the cruelest because in the end you can never really choose who it is you love. You can only feel it." Soos explained. "All I can say is who do you want to be with? If the nice girl is the one you want you should go for her even if she shoots you down. As for the mean girl, who knows it might work out. You never know. After all relationships could change people for the better or worst depending on your partner. Or you could just forget those two all together and go find someone new. Hope that helps."

"Maybe you have," Dipper said feeling a little bit better but still confused. "As always Soos you are wise beyond your years."

"Thanks,"Soos said as he got up to leave. "Just keep at it. As they say sometimes you just find love in the strangest places. Other times with the last person you'd expect." Soos started whistling the Twilight Zone theme as he slowly and dramatically closed the door.

After Soos left Dipper pulled out his 'List of mean things to do to Pacifica' and gave it a quick glance. Dipper smiled as he proceeded to tear his list up and throw it in the garbage.


	20. Chapter 19

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"Today is the big day," Pacifica happily hummed as she applied her make-up. "After weeks of scheming, planning, and preparations it all comes down to this!" After she finished admiring herself in the mirror, she picked up the Book 3. "Well I'll see you soon Dipper Darling," Pacifica said kissing her fingers then pressing them on the framed picture of Dipper on her vanity table.

-At the Mystery 'S'hack-

Dipper awoke to find a huge crowd outside of the Mystery 'S'hack. "What's going on out there?" Dipper wondered. When without warning Stan came busting into his room. "Hey, Grucle Stan! Injured person recuperating here!" Dipper complained.

"No time for that now," Stan said excitedly. "We've got a golden opportunity here! So hurry and get dressed!"

"Hey you gave me the next few days off," Dipper protested.

"Yeah, yeah," Stan waving Dipper off. "Hurry up there's money to be made!"

Dipper grumbled as he got dressed. He knew that there's no talking to Stan when he is like this. "Look there he is!" Someone yelled as Dipper made his way outside. Dipper suddenly found himself being hounded by reporters, random citizens, and tourist trying to take his picture or asking him some questions! In the mayhem Dipper manage to piece together to what is going on. It seems that thanks to some text happy teenagers, he's become something of a hero for rescuing Pacifica. Which explains the media circus and of course Stan wanting to exploit his new found fame. Charging folks for pictures and bidding with media for the rights to an exclusive interviews. As for Dipper, he's finding that he likes being the center of attention. Naturally he had to embellish the story of his adventures to keep the audience's attention. Even proudly showing off his scars to his new fans. And crowd just ate it up, throwing even more money at him.

Across the way Pacifica sat patiently in her car watching all this transpire. She could of course just drive in and steal the spotlight but she decided to let Dipper have his fifteen minutes of fame.

-Fifteen Minutes Later-

"Thanks for giving me all your money! Be sure to come back when you have more!" Stan waved as the crowd started to disperse. Leaving behind only the crew of the Mystery 'S'hack along with their friends. "Why are you kids still doing here?" Stan asked the non-paying visitors. "Either buy something or leave!"

"Oh come on Gruncle Stan don't be such a grumpy puss," Mabel laughed with her friends.

"Yeah man, we've made more in fifteen minutes than we did all the month." Dipper argued showing Stan his calculations for the day's profits. "That's cause for a celebration."

"Fine," Stan reluctantly agreed. "And you still have to do that exclusive interview tomorrow!"

"Alright!" everyone cheered.

"So shall we get this party started!" Mabel said cheerfully.

"Hold up, I think Dipper got a special guest arriving," Wendy said pointing to Pacifica's car pulling up.

"Oh no, I forgot all about her," Mabel whispered fearfully.

"Hey Pacifica what brings you here?" Dipper asked nervously.

"Just came to see how you're doing," Pacifica said. "Doing well by the looks of it."

"Yeah well we were just about to celebrate if you want to join us," Dipper invited.

"No thanks," Pacifica said suppressing the urge to vomit just from sight of these losers. "Actually I'm just here to tell you that you're fired!"

"Wha...?" everyone gasped in surprise. Including Mabel.

"Wait, what, why?" Dipper asked. "Is it because of Mabel?"

"Hey!" Mabel protested though a little concern that it might be her fault.

"Listen Dipper, I'll admit that I actually enjoy your company. I even found your antics delightfully amusing. You've even gave me one of the most enjoyable chess matches I ever had." Pacifica smiled. Dipper heart actually skipped a beat seeing her smile that way. Pacifica expression then became serious. "But what I don't enjoy is getting caught up with all the weirdness that always seems to follow you around!" Everyone nodded in agreement, stating how all these crazy things happening when the twins are involved. Pacifica then pulled out the Book 3 from her jacket and handed it Dipper. "So I might as well give this back as well."

"Oh okay, thanks," Dipper said sadly as he took his book back. Mabel breathed a sigh of relief. As far as she could tell it didn't look like her brother was going to do anything stupid or rash, and that means she'll win the bet. "Hey Pacifica I was just wondering if maybe I could come over sometimes for a little chess match?" Dipper suddenly asked. "And maybe compare notes on some of the monsters we encountered?"

"Of course Dipper, I would like that very much!" Pacifica said joyously. She then leaned forward kissing him on the lips. Everyone's jaw dropped in shock by this sight. Tambry even dropped her phone! Soos on the other hand pulled out his cell phone and took a snap shot of the couple's deed. "You are always welcome at my place," she whispered in his ear after breaking off of the kiss. As Pacifica walked back to her car, she grinned with cruel satisfaction at Mabel silently declaring her victory. While Mabel just stood there, staring at her in utter disbelief!

"Oh man that was an adult kiss!" Grenda said excitedly.

"I've never seen one before in real life," Candy jittered.

"I think there was some tongue action in there as well," Nate noted.

"Wow not even Robbie has done that yet," Thompson added.

"Hey shut up!" Robbie snapped.

"Yeah man, you're like officially the coolest guy in Gravity Falls," Lee congratulated Dipper.

Tambry picked up cell phone and started texting, _"Dipper Pines the coolest 9 year old ever!"_

"I'm 12 actually," Dipper corrected her. "and really?" he asked. Everyone all cheered in acknowledgment, even raising him above their heads. "Hey Mabel did you hear that!" Dipper turned to his sister who was surprisingly and uncharacteristically quiet. "Uh Mabel?" Dipper called again but she just stood there frozen still. "MABEL!" Dipper shaking her trying to get her to snap out of it!

EPILOGUE  
One Month Later

"And as you direct your attention over there you will see our most popular attraction Petrified Mabel!" Soos showcasing her to a group of tourist. Mabel, still standing in the same position for a month, only now had weeds and mushrooms growing on her. Not only that, a family of Woodpecker has started nesting on the top of her head. "Mabel here froze in this position after seeing a horribly wicked girl doing some unspeakable things to her beloved brother." Soos said giving a brief exposition. "Oh hi Pacifica." he greeted seeing her standing nearby.

Pacifica merely scoffed at Soos as she stared at her old archenemy with content. "Man what a loser. Still can't let go of your brother. You'd think that she would have gotten over this by now. At least I won't have to wear your ridiculous sweater." Pacifica laughed.

"You know you could be a little nicer to her since this is your fault," Dipper accused.

"I could, but I can't stand her!" Pacifica sneered. "I still love you though," she said sweetly giving Dipper a light kiss on the nose.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Dipper complained. "Especially not in front of her." He pointed to Mabel.

"Oh you love it," Pacifica countered. Dipper blushed ashamed to admit that he does enjoy it. "Oh and by the way, I'm having a party on my yacht. You want to come?"

"Sorry but you know I have to take care of my sister," Dipper reminded her.

"Come if you want to, or don't, it's your choice." Pacifica blew him a kiss before walking away in a rather seductive manner.

Dipper groaned in frustration as his eyes kept shifting between Pacifica and Mabel. He really hates having to choose between the two girls he loves!

The End?

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"And THAT must be Pacifica's nefarious plan to destroy us! It has to be, it's the only one that makes sense!" Mabel concluded showing Waddles a crudely drawn picture of Dipper standing in between her and Pacifica. Waddles responded by snorted skeptically. "You still don't get it?" Mabel groaned. "Fine I'll explain it to you again." She started explaining it to Waddles again only this time using some snacks as visual aids. Waddles oinked excitedly as if he completely agreed with Mabel's theory. In truth he was just happily eating the black licorice that Mabel was using as a prop to represent Pacifica. "You're right Waddles," Mabel said patting his head. "We have to stop her no matter what!"

-At Northwest Manor-

"And that's how it will go," Pacifica said to the torn picture of Dipper and Mabel. The very same picture that inspired her plan. "When I'm through with you two, I'll crush your spirits like so!" Pacifica started crumpling Mabel's picture. "Then you'll learn what it means to cross me!" Pacifica laughed manically as she tossed Mabel's half of the picture into the trash. She was about to do the same to Dipper's, but something stopped her. Instead she inserted the picture in a small frame and placed it on her desk. "See you tomorrow Dipper dear," Pacifica then kissed her fingers and pressed them on Dipper's lips. As part of her nightly ritual she prepared to go out on her balcony to look for her guiding stars, Ursa Major. Only to find that her starts were directly outside of her window. "No way," Pacifica gasped. Normally she would be overjoyed to see her stars without having to go outside, but this time it disturbed her because her stars were directly over the Mystery 'S'hack!

* * *

**A/N: APRIL FOOLS! Yes this is NOT the ending. It just a crazy random idea from Mabel's overactive imagination. Can she thwart Pacifica's plan? Is this crazy scheme really Pacifica's plan? What of Dipper, what will he do? Tune in next chapter we'll see what really happens.**


	21. Chapter 2o

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

Dipper awoke feeling groggy, with a loud rumbling noise coming from his stomach. While his medication could help him sleep through his pain, it cannot supersede his hunger. "Mabel! Gruncle Stan! Soos!" Dipper desperately called, ringing a bell that his sister provided for him if he needed anything. But no one came. Dipper shook the sleepiness from his head and carefully made his way downstairs. Down at the shop he saw pretty much the usual; Wendy at the counter doing whatever except her job, Soos sweeping up, Gruncle Stan trying to con more tourist into giving him all their money, finally Mabel who was now doing his work and periodically glancing at the door and windows as if expecting some unwanted company. Dipper could have easily snuck pass them but he wanted to at least say hi. "Hey guys," he greeted.

"DIPPER!" they all called out.

"What are you doing up? You should be in bed!" Mabel demanded. Dipper's rumbling stomach answered her question for him, much to his embarrassment. "Is that all," Mabel laughed. "You know you could have just rang the bell," Mabel reminded him.

"I tried but no one answered," Dipper complained. "So what do we have to eat?"

"Oh about that," Mabel looked away in shame. Mabel led Dipper to the kitchen where he saw that there was no food anywhere. "It's not our fault!" Mabel defended. "Gruncle Stan was in jail and we were all too busy looking for you! So we never got to go shopping."

Dipper's stomach began voicing it's contempt over Mabel's lame excuses. "That's ok," Dipper said trying to put up a brave face. "Hey Gruncle Stan can we please go to the diner?"

"Love to kid, but I need to make up for lost time," Stan argued counting a small stack of bills. "But here, treat yourself to some jerky or something." Stan handing Dipper some change for the vending machine.

"This is no way to treat the injured," Dipper moped as he made his selection.

"Yeah, yeah you just get your butt back to bed," Stan ordered. "Can't have you hurting yourself even more. You are my most reliable employee after all."

"Hey!" Wendy and Soos taking offense at that last part.

Dipper grumbled as he left the shop. While he knew that he should go back to bed, he instead decided to get some fresh air and snuck out the back. As he left the Shack, Dipper made his way into the woods before sitting down on a fallen log. "Treat yourself to so jerky," Dipper spat as he opened his bag of jerky. "Man Pacifica treats me better than this and she's probably trying to kill me!" he mumbled stuffing his face with jerky. Dipper sighed sadly, his stomach is still rumbling even after finishing his bag of jerky. He hasn't felt this hungry since he gave all of his jerky to Pacifica that night they got lost in the woods. As he prepared to return to the Shack a familiar voice called out to him.

"Well, Dipper Pines," Pacifica said from her limo. "Don't tell me you were out here waiting for me."

"What no," Dipper stuttered. "Why would I be waiting out here for you?"

"You mean your sister didn't tell you I was coming over? Typical!" Pacifica said pretending to be shocked but figuring that Mabel wouldn't tell him.

"Ah I see," Dipper chuckled recalling how Mabel was keeping a lookout. "So why are you here?" he asked nervously.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing," she said sweetly. "Looks like you're doing well."

"Of course! It's me after all!" Dipper boasted, but his bravado was interrupted by his stomach.

"Some things never change," Pacifica laughed. "Hop in," she invited opening the door.

Dipper knew that he shouldn't but all the pros outweigh the cons! So he accepted her invitation without any hesitation!

Back inside the Mystery 'S'hack, Mabel had just finished up her shift and was about to check up on her brother when Soos spotted something strange outside. "Hey isn't that the Northwest limo outside?" he observed.

"WHAT!?" Mabel screeched as she ran out the door. Mabel arrived just in time to see her brother entering the car and driving off. "Dipper come back!" she cried but to no avail. "Soos come on we're following them!"

"Oh boy this is so exciting!" Soos clapped.

"Hold up you guys are still on the clock!" Stan ordered.

"We're taking our break!" Mabel quickly said as she grabbed Soos's arm and dragged him outside before Stan could object.

"Sure whatever," Stan said after they left knowing that it was more trouble than it's worth to try and stop her. "Looks like you're doing a double-no triple duties, Wendy," he told his only remaining employee.

"Oh man!" Wendy groaned as she dropped her magazine.

* * *

To Dipper's surprise Pacifica brought him to the local Diner rather than one of those fancy expensive five star restaurants that she's accustom to going. As they waited for their food Dipper could help but feel that Pacifica was up to something, plus the way she was just staring at him made him somewhat uncomfortable. "So Pacifica is there a reason why you chose this place rather than your usual establishments?" Dipper asked nervously.

"I thought it would be a nice change of pace," Pacifica said sweetly keeping an eye on the entrance. A few minutes later Lazy Susy brought them their food. As Dipper happily ate, two strange individuals entered the diner wearing grey trench coats, fedoras, and sunglasses. Pacifica grinned as the two sat in the booth right next to them, but Dipper too busy eating to notice them. _'Right on schedule,'_ Pacifica thought to herself.

"So Dipper I've been meaning to talk to you about something," Pacifica said. Dipper immediately giving her his full attention expecting her to trick him into to something. Pacifica pulled out his Book 3 and handed it to him.

"My Book!" Dipper cried excitedly as he began flipping through the pages. "Wait what's the catch?"

"Just my way of saying thanks," she said quietly.

"I thought paying for my hospital bills was your way of saying thanks," he said skeptically.

"Nope as my personal butler you are privilege with medical benefits," Pacifica clarified.

"Oh well thank you," Dipper said sincerely as he placed his precious Book back into his vest pocket. Dipper felt a sense of wholeness having the Book back where it belongs.

"So are you still into Wendy?" she asked suddenly.

"O-O-of c-c-course," Dipper stuttered. Not really sure if it's out of embarrassment or hesitation. "Why?"

"I'll be honest. When we first met I thought that you were just another idiot, like your sister." Pacifica started off.

"Hey!" Dipper objected. "Then again I just thought you were another spoiled air headed heiress."

Pacifica ignored him and continued on. "But you know these past few days I'm starting to see you differently. You're brave, smart, clever, smart." Dipper started to feel a little disgruntled at the lack of qualities that she's using to describe him. "The point is ever since you saved my life out there, you've been on my mind a lot! So maybe I was hoping that you might consider possibly making our little arrangement more permanent and more personal?" Pacifica asked as she reached out to touch his hand.

Dipper gulped nervously knowing what she was implying. He quickly tried to think logically about this situation but right now his brain is spinning at a hundred miles per hour, unable to think straight. "Are you serious," he whispered not wanting to draw attention.

"Maybe," she said playfully confusing Dipper even more. Over in the next stall, the smaller of the two trench coat wearing weirdos was strangling her glass of water.

Dipper took a deep breath, taking a minute to think about it before deciding. "I'm sorry," he finally said. "Look Pacifica I really kind of sort of like you. But I don't mean like like you and well it's just that..."

"It's Mabel isn't it," Pacifica concluded. Dipper's silence was all the answer she needed. "Dipper the one thing you need to understand about girls is that we don't like playing second fiddle to another girl. Even if that girl is just a sister. No ESPECIALLY if that other girl is just your sister! If you seriously want a girlfriend you are going to have to let go of your baby sister's hand!" Pacifica slamming her hand down on the table.

"Actually Mabel is older by five minutes," Dipper whispered.

"You're kidding!" Pacifica gasped. That was one piece of information she didn't have. "That's even worst! She's suppose to be mature one looking out for you! Instead she goes off prancing around like some moron forcing you clean up after her!"

"That's not how it is!" Dipper argued. The two got into a deep staring contest.

"With that be all?" Lazy Susan asked the kids. But they didn't respond. "Okay here's the check," she said placing it on the table. Pacifica got up and slid the check over to Dipper.

"Hey," he objected.

"After all I've done for you can at least pay for one meal," Pacifica shot at him before getting up and leaving. On her way out she stopped by the guys in trench coats. "Looks like he's all yours," Pacifica whispered to the smaller one.

Mabel took off her sunglasses as she watched sadly as Pacifica left the diner. What Pacifica said about her really hit home. Making her believe that maybe Dipper would be better off without her. Looking over to the next booth she saw Dipper just sitting there. If she knew her brother, Dipper would most likely be conflicted and confused. Mabel didn't want to do this but she needed to for her brother's sake.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Mabel finally asked.

"What? Mabel, Soos, what are you doing here?" Dipper asked. "And what are you wearing?" Noting the obvious spy/detective disguise they were wearing.

"Dining duh," Mabel retorted. "But seriously if you want to be with her then you should go after her."

"But isn't she like your archenemy?" Dipper reminded her.

"This isn't about me. It's about you and what you want." Mabel lectured. "And if you really like her then you should go after her no matter what I think."

Dipper nodded and quickly ran out the door. As he exited the Diner Pacifica's limo drove off leaving him in the dust of it's exhaust. Dipper fell into depression knowing that he may have just blew it again. Inside the Diner Mabel and Soos watched sadly at what transpired unsure what to say or do to help comfort him.

* * *

Later at the Northwest Manor

Pacifica laughed as she entered her room. Picking up her picture of Dipper and dancing around her room with it. "That was fantastic! Everything went according to plan!" she bragged at the picture. "What plan you ask? Simple, by taking Dipper to the local Diner instead of a fancy restaurant I insured that the common folk that normally associate with the Pines will there to witness our little drama. Soon rumors will be spread about how Dipper dumped me for his sister, destroying their reputation!" she explained to the picture. "Not only that I also planted the seeds of doubt in both Dipper and Mabel. Now it will only take a little push to drive them apart. And once Mabel is out of the picture, I will finally have Dipper all to myself!" Pacifica sighed happily hugging his picture. She suddenly froze after realizing what she just said, what she is doing. "Wait, what am I saying? And since when was that part of my plan?" she asked herself fearfully.


	22. Chapter 21

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"Well kids, here we are! The Gravity Falls Neighborhood Picnic Potluck!" Stan announced as he drove into the town's picnic grounds. As they exited the car, the kids observed the townsfolk setting up a large picnic buffet along with games and other activities.

"This town seems like throwing a lot of festivals doesn't it," Dipper said critically.

"Oh come on Dipper, it's summer!" Mabel argued. "Can't you just enjoy the party for once. Boop, Boop." she teased and started poking him on the cheek.

"Besides, you look like could use some fresh air," Stan preached. "And some good free food should help you get a speedy recovery," he added. Dipper had to agree that the food is very tempting.

"Ow!" Dipper cried after his sister accidentally poked him on chest.

"Oh I'm so sorry Dipper," Mabel apologized.

"It's alright Mabel. It doesn't hurt as much as is did before." Dipper assured her. While that statement was true it still stings a lot!

Stan led the kids to the picnic tables full of different foods that everyone brought in for the potluck. Stan and the kids quickly began filling up their plates until the were confronted by some random lady bring in some potato salad.

"Hey, it's not time to eat yet!" she scolded slapping Stan's hand away from the potato salad. "Also if you want to enjoy the potluck, you have to contribute something as well," she informed them.

"Oh right don't worry I brought soda!" Stan declared pulling out a six pack.

"I'm sorry but you're going to need to do bring enough for everyone," she lectured.

"Fine just give me a minute to SMOKE BOMB!" Stan suddenly threw a smoke bomb at her face then ran off with his plate. Following their Gruncle's example Dipper and Mabel also made a mad dash with their food as well.

"I hate those Pines!" the lady coughed as the smoke started to clear. After they were safely away they stopped to enjoy their food.

"Well I'm off, you kids go and enjoy yourselves." Stan said after finishing his food.

"Gruncle Stan, where are you going?" Dipper asked nervously. "You're not planning to get us into trouble again are you?"

"Ha this guy," Stan laughed rubbing Dipper's head. "You see Dipper, with event as big as this, there's always a lot of game booths around and I plan to cheat-uh-I mean win some prizes!" Stan said excitedly. "So I can sell them at the Shack later," he whispered immediately afterwards. "Well I got to get going before all the good stuff is gone!" Stan left, unaware of or just ignoring their disapproving stares.

"So what do you want to do now Dippin' Sauce?" Mabel asked her brother. Before Dipper could answer, Candy and Grenda came running towards them!

"Mabel, Mabel thank god we found you!" Grenda panted.

"Yes we need a third person for the relay obstacle course!" Candy begged. Mabel didn't want to leave her brother alone, but at the same time she really wanted to do the relay with her friends. As a courtesy they also invited Dipper to join in as well, but he graciously refused stating his injuries. But Candy was quick to point out that there were plenty of less strenuous events that he could participate in that shouldn't cause him any problems. Actually there's only one, the marshmallow toss; to which he reluctantly agreed to after several seconds of pleading and begging from the girls. As they got ready for the relay, when who should show up on stage but Pacifica herself for the starting ceremonies. Dipper wanted to talk to her but he knew that this wasn't the time nor place for that.

"Welcome you all to Gravity Falls friendly neighborhood potluck," Pacifica said over the speaker. "You all know me Pacifica Northwest, and just to keep it short and simple. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" After her big speech Pacifica raised a small cap gun and fired it into the air officially starting the festivities.

Dipper sat on the ground watching his sister and her friends running the obstacle course. Or rather stumbling and tripping over the obstacles. While no would argue that Mabel isn't athletic, she does however have a hard time playing by the rules. Wanting to run on all fours like a dog or just rolling on the ground and crashing into the obstacles simply because it's more fun that way. Candy and Grenda following Mabel's example preferring to have fun rather than win. Dipper was almost amazed that they didn't come in last place.

From her pedestal Pacifica watched the goofiness from a safe distance. "Idiots," she declared drinking a can of soda. The only thing in the potluck she knew she would enjoy. Too bad who ever it was only brought one six pack. Everyone else brought in either a pitcher lemonade or ice tea.

"Yeah but at least they're having fun," a mysterious girl said.

"Who are you and why should I care?" Pacifica asked the girl who looked vaguely familiar.

"Oh I'm Wendy, Wendy Corduroy." Wendy introduced herself. "You know Dipper and Mabel's friend. You saw me at the Mystery 'S'hack."

"Oh right, you're that lazy slacker Dipper is always telling me about," Pacifica mocked.

"Guilty as charged," Wendy laughed taking Pacifica's insult as a playful joke.

"_Wow, she's as dumb as Mabel. No wonder they get along so well."_ Pacifica thought to herself. "Shouldn't you be hanging out with you friends or supporting your employer's relatives?" Pacifica said directing her attention to the teens causing mischief and then to Mabel who was happily playing in the mud even after winning in tug of war.

"Shouldn't you be there with your boyfriend?" Wendy shot back pointing to Dipper sitting alone.

"In case you haven't heard he dumped me for his sister," Pacifica said cynically.

"Aw come on. So he's a little overly affectionate of her. But she's his sister you can't blame him for that." Wendy argued.

"Would you be so understanding if your boyfriend always stood you up to play tea time with his sister?" Pacifica challenged.

"Ouch, touche," Wendy conceded. After all she has dumped boys for lesser reasons than that. "But Dipper is a great guy. One in a million in fact. Maybe you should give him another chance."

Pacifica scoffed at the older teen and turned her attention back to the games. The next event was a marshmallow toss with Dipper tossing Marshmallows into Mabel's mouth. Thanks to Dipper's mad trajectory calculations and Mabel's love of sweets, it seemed like that two had this event in the bag. But then the guy standing next to Dipper, during his windup, accidentally knocked Dipper's hat off. Dipper then started to freak out chasing after his hat disqualifying them.

"What's the big deal with his hat?" Pacifica wondered. "It's not like he's balding or anything."

"Oh that, he's just embarrassed about his birthmark," Wendy informed her.

"Embarrassing birthmark eh?" Pacifica interest began to perk up.

"Uh-oh, sorry but I'm not really suppose to tell anyone about it," Wendy apologized. "But I guess since you're his girlfriend it's alright. You it's funny because even though he hates his birthmark but he has no problems with his nickname and..." Wendy went on unaware that Pacifica was no longer there.

"I can't believe I did that," Dipper moped.

"Ah come on Dipper you did your best," Mabel said trying to comfort her brother.

"What are you taking about Mabel? You guys lost the game because of a hat!" Grenda pointed out with Candy concurring.

"Please girls Dipper is hurt! Show him a little compassion." Mabel defended even though Dipper's injuries had nothing to do with this situation. Just then two boys on of whom knocked Dipper's hat off appeared behind Dipper.

"Ha, Ha! We won the marshmallow toss, and it's all thanks to this guy!" these two boys cheered rubbing their ribbon in Dipper's and Mabel's faces.

"Hey that's bad sportsmanship!" Mabel argued. "Wait did you knock his hat off on purpose?"

"No that was an accident," one of the boys insisted.

"But this isn't," the other said grabbing Dipper's hat!

"Hey give that back!" Dipper demanded.

"KEEP AWAY!" the boys both screamed tripping Dipper.

"Oh you'll pay for that!" Mabel screamed. The boys smiled and quickly ran off with Dipper's hat, with Mabel and her friends in quick pursuit. Dipper wanted to follow but the pain from the fall made it hard for him to move to quickly.

Observing from a safe distance, Pacifica grinned with satisfaction. Once again everything went according to plan. She got those two boys to steal Dipper's hat and to lead Mabel on a wild goose chase. Leaving her alone with him to see this embarrassing birthmark and use it to embarrass him further. "So Dipper are you enjoying the potluck?" Pacifica asked innocently.

"Pacifica!" Dipper gasped drooping his head. "Oh yeah it's great, having lots of fun!" he laughed nervously.

"Is there something wrong," Pacifica asked trying to get a good look but he keeps on turning his head or blocking her view.

"No nothings wrong," he insisted turning his head again. "Just looking for Mabel."

"I see," Pacifica chuckled. "You know I never seen you without your hat. You look like a completely different person without it. More handsome in fact."

"Really?" Dipper said excitedly as he turned to face Pacifica. Forgetting why he was avoiding looking at her directly.

"No, it can't be," Pacifica shook her head in disbelief at the image she saw on his forehead. Then without warning she turned an ran away as fast as she could.

"That was weird," Dipper noted scratching his head. Just then he froze remembering that he wasn't wearing his hat!

Pacifica ran as fast as she could. "No it can't be," Pacifica said to herself recalling the mark she saw. She knew that pattern well. After all she spent the last three years of her life memorizing it and tracking it in the night's sky! And now just as everything was going her way, it seems that fate is playing a cruel trick on her. After she stopped running, she looked back at where she left Dipper. She saw that Mabel manage to retrieve Dipper's hat and is now returning it to him. Even with his birthmark covered Pacifica could still see it's image through his hat. Almost as if it was glowing brightly just to mock her! "No I won't to accept it! I refuse to believe it! He can't be my destiny!" Pacifica screamed into the air. Thankfully thanks to all the commotion caused by a certain someone cheating at the all games and stealing all the prizes no one heard or noticed her.


	23. Chapter 22

**I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

"Come on out daughter let's talk about whatever it is that's bothering you," Mr. Northwest pleaded knocking on his daughter's locked door. With no response from inside. "You've been locked in your room for three days now. We're worried about you," he added sound rather nonchalant and unconcerned for his daughter's well being. Again no response. He sighed after waiting for two minutes. "Let me know if there is any changes," he instructed the maids as he left.

Pacifica sat silently on her bed with her sheets over her head. Lost in her own thoughts of what transpired that day at the picnic. There can be no doubt in her mind that she saw what she saw. The constellation of Ursa Major the sign that, if the fortuneteller is to be believed, suppose to lead her to her destiny!

* * *

_*Flashback 3 years ago*_

"_This carnival is dullsville," Pacifica complained as she and her posse transited between booths._

"_Excuse me child but would you like me to tell you your fortune?" a gypsy lady offered in a thick old Italian accent._

"_Whatever, should be good for a laugh." Pacifica scoffed entering the gypsy's tent._

_Once inside the gypsy began studying her palm. "Ah I see that you will..."_

"_I will have a glorious future of radiant happiness," Pacifica cut in. "Please, tell me something that haven't heard from every two-bit fortuneteller that rolls into town!"_

"_Um uh, well..." the gypsy quickly began drawing tarot cards, drinking tea, and reading the daily horoscopes. All of which did nothing to impress her. "Ah I see it now," the gypsy said ominously._

"_What?" Pacifica asked impatiently._

"_Here this is your sign," the gypsy closed her eyes and pointed her finger at the star chart behind her._

"_The big dipper?" Pacifica said in confusion looking at the constellation that the gypsy's finger landing on._

"_No this is Ursa Major the big bear!" the gypsy insisted._

"_Okay so what?" Pacifica asked rolling her eyes. She may not be into astrology but even she knew they were the same thing._

"_Just as the North Star guided your ancestor here to Gravity Falls. So too the Great Bear shall guide you to your destiny!" the gypsy rambled._

"_That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!" Pacifica laughed. "If you want to continue being a fortune teller you better come up with better material!"_

"_Be warned child! For you shall never know happiness until you find the Great Bear!" the gypsy yelled after Pacifica left her tent. "Sheesh what a brat," they gypsy added dropping the accent and speaking in a manly voice._

_*Flashback end*_

* * *

Even though she laughed about it at the time, mainly because she didn't want to pay the gypsy, she found the idea ridiculous. I mean how could she not be happy? After all she's rich, everyone in Gravity Falls beckons to her call treating her like royalty; and she really enjoys bossing and belittling people. So why shouldn't she be happy. Pacifica looked around her room at all the star charts, astrology and mythology books she has collected over the years. "Since when did I start believing in that faker's nonsense," she wondered.

* * *

_*Flashback about month after the carnival*_

_It was an average normal day. Pacifica and her crew were engaged in ridiculing girls who were wearing last years fashions, when all of a sudden there was a loud scream! Somehow a bear had wandered into to town! Doing...not much actually. Just moseying down the street minding it's own business. Not even attempting to get close to or even growl at anyone. The townsfolk however were in full blown panic mode! Screaming and yelling some started rioting. Pacifica just sat back and enjoyed the chaos. That is until the bear made it's way towards her. "Hey get away from me you over sized winter coat!" Pacifica yelled as the slowly approached her. "HELP!" she demanded. For the first time in her life no one came to her aid. Far more concerned with their own safety everyone backed away from the not so fearsome beast. Leaving Pacifica at the mercy of the bear! At that moment Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland arrived and with a surprising show of competence they managed to subdued the bear with tranquilizers! Unfortunately the bear landed right on top of Pacifica wrapping her in it's arms as it slept._

"_Pacifica are you all right?" one of her friends asked after making sure the bear was safely asleep._

"_Fine, fine no thanks to you!" Pacifica screamed struggling to get out of the bear's grip. "Now get this snoring carpet off of me or I'll make you wish this bear ate you!" she threatened. Everyone within earshot quickly rushed to her aid knowing that she was dead serious._

_Later that night Pacifica recalled how terrified she felt, but at the same time she also felt strange when in the bear's embrace. It wasn't fear but something else, something she's never felt before. It made her feel well good and wanted to experience it again. Of course Pacifica wasn't stupid enough to go bear hunting, but maybe she could find something else that could replicate that feeling. Something far less dangerous. After several days of searching and testing Pacifica could find nothing that gave her that same feeling. Then one night as she stood out on her balcony, she noticed that some of the stars seemed brighter than the rest. The light from the stars just seemed to be calling her. Engulfing her in their brilliance, she felt the warmth and joy she did when she was held by the bear. Looking back at the stars she quickly recognized the star pattern as the Big Dipper constellation. That's when she remembered the gypsy's fortune! The next night she stood under the stars again but sadly this time she felt nothing. For the next couple of years she would watch her stars, following their movements; studying everything both scientific and mythical about them hoping to learn their secret! Sadly she could not learn anything that could help her understand their secret. Then one night, during her ritual of looking for her stars, she saw them glowing. Bathing her in their warmth again. That was the night she went to the Mystery 'S'hack for the first time._

_*Flashback end*_

* * *

"No! That's ridiculous!" Pacifica screeched. The very thought that the stars were guiding her to the Mystery 'S'hack was completely ludicrous. She went there on her own accord because of the party nothing else! Besides she didn't even meet Dipper there just his stupid sister! Of course if that didn't happen then she might not have met Dipper at all. "NO!" Pacifica yelled shaking the very idea from her head. "This is just coincidence," She whispered trying to convince herself. "That birthmark must be a fake! Yes a prank concocted by those twins to mess with me." Pacifica concluded. After all she did tell Mabel about her destiny with Ursa Major and wouldn't put it pass them to try something like this. Believing that the mark on his head is a fake helped make her feel better. Made her feel that she's still in control of the situation and is able turn it to her favor.

"You almost had me there," Pacifica laughed at her picture of Dipper. "Now all I have to do is find the real embarrassing birthmark that Wendy told me about and use it to humiliate you and your sister!" Pacifica plotted. As she stared at the picture, his forehead just seemed to glow. Pacifica gasped as she saw the outline of his 'fake' birthmark glowing under his hat, calling out to her. "Oh no I'm not falling for that! This is a fake! A figment of my imagination. You're not fooling me again Dipper!" Pacifica yelled. "Heh, Dipper you know that's a weird name. How did you ever get stuck with that?" Pacifica chuckled, wondering why she never thought about it before.

"_You it's funny because he hates his birthmark but he has no problems with his nickname."_ Pacifica suddenly remembered Wendy trying to telling her that just before she ditched her.

"_He got his nickname because of his birthmark!"_ Pacifica realized feeling all sick again. The birthmark wasn't fake and apparently it is calling out to her! The question is will she answer it?

"Excuse me madam," Jeeves called out to her from outside her door. "You have a message from Dipper he says it's urgent."

Hearing that Pacifica rushed to her door and opened it. "Where give it to me!" she demanded. Jeeves scoffed as he handed her the note. The note read:

_Pacifica_

_I've been trying to reach you but so far you haven't answered any of my messages. So I called in a favor that Jeeves owed me and hope that this letter will reach you. I just want to say that I have an idea of why you ran off that day at the potluck and I really want to talk to you about it. And yes Mabel did tell me about your thing with the Big Dipper constellation. So please call, text, visit, send a messenger, anything. I don't want any bad feelings between us even though you are just using me to get revenge._

_Love Dipper._

"He knew," Pacifica gasped as she reread the last line. Of course he knew, he is a smart boy. The smarter half of the Mystery Twins after all. Pacifica glanced over to her private phone wondering if she should call him. "This has to be a trick," Pacifica said out loud. "Yes he'll invite me over and then he will humiliate me in front of everyone inside that Shack!" She figured. "Well bring it on!" she declared as she grabbed her phone. But as quickly as she picked up her phone she quickly slammed the phone back down. "I can't do it, I can't face him." Pacifica cried.

* * *

-The Mystery 'S'hack-

Dipper waited patiently by the phone hoping to receive her call. Well actually he was a good distance from the phone pretending to do his work. But he always kept one ear on the phone ready to pick it up at a moment notice just in case she called him. Mabel watched sadly from outside. Sensing her brother's plight Mabel offered to do the jobs outside of the Shack so Dipper could stay indoors near the phone. Claiming that she didn't want him to hurt himself more than he already was. While she would prefer that her twin would get over that girl, Mabel knew that Dipper needs to see this through and just let love take it's course. Hopefully to a clean break up. Just then she heard the faint ringing sound of the phone. Dropping everything that she was doing, she rushed back in to see Dipper talking on the phone.

"Hello," she heard Dipper said. "Oh hi. How have you been? I really missed you. Really day after tomorrow. No that's not a problem. Yes I'm, we're looking forward to seeing you too." Mabel breathed a sigh of relief. That had to be Pacifica on the phone. Maybe now Dipper can get over his crush and find a new girl to fawn over.

"Gruncle Stan phone!" Dipper yelled out.

"Huh what would Pacifica want to talk to Gruncle Stan?" Mabel wondered.

"That wasn't Pacifica," Dipper answered her. "That was mom and dad. They say that they are coming to pick us up day after tomorrow." He told her quietly.


	24. Chapter 23

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS**

Dipper stood in front of the Northwest Estate, taking deep breaths trying to must as much courage and he possibly could. Ringing the doorbell he waited patiently until Jeeves opened the door.

"Ah Mr. Pines are you working today?" Jeeves asked in monotone.

"No actually, is Pacifica available?" Dipper asked.

"I'm afraid madam instructed that she is not to be disturbed," Jeeves informed him.

"Can I please talk to her?" Dipper pleaded. "I have something very important to tell her!"

"I'm sorry but those are her ordered, and you've already used up your favor! Good day!" Jeeves reminded him before closing the door on his face.

"If that's the way you want to play it fine!" Dipper giving his declaration of war. He quickly snuck around back and made his way through the gardens. Thanks to his keen observation skills Dipper knows where and the range of vison for all the security cameras in the estate. Allowing him to move in their blind spots. Dipper peek his head out to check out his situation. Weirdly enough everyone the mansion; the maids, the butlers, even Pacifica's parents were moving along in a set pattern that it almost makes them look like robots. Looking back Dipper realizes that Pacifica lively one in the estate. Everyone else just seemed so wooden stiff with no personality whatsoever. Normally Dipper's paranoia senses would be tingling but right now he's keeping his eyes on the prize. Climbing up a tree next to near her room, Dipper made his way to Pacifica's window. Inside he found her sitting on her bed with the bed sheets over her head. Taking another deep breath Dipper gently tapped on her window catching her attention.

Inside Pacifica sat staring at Dipper's picture on her table and rereading the letter Dipper sent her. She half wanted to see him again the other half just wants him to disappear. That's when she heard the tapping on her window. "Dipper?" she cried seeing him outside. "You know there are laws against peeping in a girl's room!" Pacifica lectured after opening the window. "Besides I want to be alone!"

"But I have to talk to you!" Dipper insisted trying to get in but Pacifica prevented him from entering.

"But I don't want to talk to you right now!" Pacifica said harshly.

"Why because of this!" Dipper took off his hat showing her his birthmark. Pacifica slowly back away fearfully from it. As if seeing something horrible. "Look Pacifica as much of a paranormal nut that I am. I never really put much stock in prophecies and fortune telling." Dipper said making his position clear. "But I do know that I kind of like you and I really want to make this work." Dipper started getting tongue tied.

"I'm sorry Dipper but this is all so unexpected and coming so fast. I just need some time ok." Pacifica pleaded.

"Alright Pacifica," Dipper said sadly. "But just so you know, I'm leaving tomorrow."

"WHAT!" Pacifica screamed, "and you're telling me this now!"

"My parents called us last night. They say they're coming tomorrow to pick us up." Dipper explained. Pacifica just stood there in silence. Dipper sighed sadly not wanting to force her into anything. "If you want to meet up I'll be at the Mystery 'S'hack all day." Dipper climbed back down and made his way out of the estate.

Pacifica watched sadly as Dipper ran off. Two things went on inside her mind. One she was silently celebrating that she'll never have to see or deal with Mabel ever again. On the other hand she may never see Dipper again. Half of her wants to run out and meet with him, the other half just wants to wash her hands of the those accursed Pines once and for all! Pacifica began to feel lightheaded. The stress of everything that's been happening is taking it's toll on her and she collapsed on the floor. About an hour later Jeeves came in to deliver her meal and saw her passed on the floor. He simply picked her up, placed her on the bed and left the room without giving it another thought.

Later Pacifica forced herself up. Shaking the sleep from her head she grabbed her clock and saw that it was almost noon the next day! "No," she cried. Jumping out of bed she quickly got dress not caring how she looked for the first time in her life and ordered her chauffeur to take her to the Mystery 'S'hack as quickly as possible.

* * *

At the Mystery 'S'hack

Dipper sighed sadly as he glanced out the window hoping to see any sign of her. He waited patiently for her all day yesterday, in fact he didn't even sleep a wink that night. Just in case Pacifica came for a midnight rendezvous. But she never came, and now it's too late. His parents arrived a few minutes ago and were planning to leave after they finish conversing with Stan. "Guess I got her answer then," Dipper sighed as he brought the last of his things to the car.

Mabel watched sadly as her twin loaded up the car. Unsure for the first time what she could say, what she could do to help him feel better. Yesterday she wanted to bring Dipper out for one last hoo-ha around town with her friends but Dipper refused to go. Not even Wendy could get him to budge. It's pretty clear that the only one who can get her brother out of his depression. Unfortunately she is the one person Mabel didn't want anywhere near him!

"Kids, are you ready to go now?" their father asked.

"Yeah," Mabel responded.

'I guess," Dipper answered. As Dipper was about to enter the car he heard another engine roaring towards the Shack. Too his shock he saw a limo pulling up and Pacifica stepping out. "Pacifica!" Dipper cried as he ran up and hugged her. Not caring who was watching him.

Pacifica however blushed with embarrassment especially with all the "Awwws" everyone was giving them. "Okay that's enough," she finally said pushing him back.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming," Dipper said.

"Yes well can we talk privately!" Pacifica asked giving everyone else the stink eye.

"Oh you go on ahead dear, we'll wait for you." his mom giggled. No mistaking what's going in her mind.

The two wandered not far into the wood. Just far enough to get away from everybody. "Look Dipper/Pacifica" they started at the same time. "You first," Dipper offered.

"So you're leaving now huh," Pacifica asked.

"Yeah but I'm planning on coming back next summer," Dipper promised. That got a smile out of Pacifica.

"Dipper I must tell you that the reason I started hanging out with you is because I wanted to make you and your sister pay for humiliating me," Pacifica admitted.

"I knew that from the start," Dipper said proudly.

"Of course you did," Pacifica said rolling her eyes. "I'm just saying that things have changed. I've grown to like you. I mean really like you, and not just because of your birthmark either." Pacifica reached for his forehead.

"So your saying I'm worthy of being your boyfriend?" Dipper asked excitedly.

"Oh heck no!" Pacifica scoffed, crushing Dipper's spirit. "As I told you before you are inexperienced. You need to practice some more with other girls before you can ever hope to capture my interest!"

"Practice with other girls," Dipper gulped.

"That's right," Pacifica said pinching his nose. "You said you were coming back next year right. So that gives you 261 days to become a Suave Debonair capable of sweeping me off my feet."

"When you say practice with other girls, does that mean?" Dipper asked nervously.

"Yes I want you to date other girls," Pacifica nodded. "Become a heart breaker if you have to, but if you break my heart you won't live to regret it!"

"Is this really necessary?" Dipper asked.

"If you want to be my boyfriend then yes," Pacifica purred seductively while tickling his chin.

"Now hold on there a minute!" Mabel screamed coming out of the bushes in her camouflage sweater.

"Mabel why and I not surprised," Pacifica retorted.

"Just when I started thinking better of you, you do this!" Mabel spat.

"Why Mabel, whatever do you mean?" Pacifica laughed. "I'm just trying to make your brother here into a perfect boyfriend."

"Dipper doesn't need to change he's perfect the way he is; if you can't see that then maybe he's not for you!" Mabel argued.

"Mabel, there's no such thing as a perfect boy. It's a girl's job to make them perfect!" Pacifica countered shaking her head. "You can't possibly tell me that all those boys you've been flirting with were your ideal dream man are you?"

"Well I," Mabel mumbled.

"Of course not, you were simply trying to capture one in order to mold him into your perfect man," Pacifica finished.

"No that's not it!" Mabel snapped. "Sure I've been trying to date different guys but I would never try to change any of them. If it turns out that they weren't Mr. Right then I would have let them go!"

"And that's why you will never find a boyfriend," Pacifica laughed at the thought of Mabel crying her eyes out every time a boy rejects her.

"Dipper what do you see in her?" Mabel asked her brother.

"You leave him out of this!" Pacifica snapped. "If he wants to be with me then that is his choice not yours! Unless you're planing on keeping him locked up for yourself."

Mabel wanted to say something, but couldn't come up with any good argument. "Do you really want to be with her?" Mabel finally asked. Dipper nodded but avoided eye contact with his sister. "Fine, I won't interfere," she promised as she headed back to the car.

"You know you could be a little nicer to her," Dipper said critically.

"That's between me and Mabel," Pacifica smirked pleased with her victory. "So what about you have you changed you mind about me?"

Dipper took his hat off and placed it on her head. "I'm coming back for that hat," he simply replied. Which was all the answer she needed.

"I'll be looking forward to seeing how much you improve," Pacifica smiled as she leaned forward and gently pressed her lips on his. Dipper in turn began hugging her drawing her in closer. As they were enjoying their last few moments together, unbeknownst to them that they were being watched by another two pairs of eyes.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing," one voice whispered.

"If you mean Dipper classic trading spit with Pacifica, #3? Then yeah, also grosses!" the second gagged.

"This is big #4, if he's into Pacifica now..." #3 whispered excitedly.

"And her and Robbie having already breaking up..." #4 added.

"That means Wendy is available!" Dipper clones #3 and #4 cheered high fiving each other. Only to start glaring at each other suspiciously one second later.

* * *

Later that night at the Northwest Estate

Pacifica happily danced all the way to her bed. Her plan worked perfectly. Dipper is now her love slave and Mabel's spirit is crushed! That dejected look on Mabel's face as they drove off is something that Pacifica will remember forever. Pacifica smiled as she placed Dipper's hat next to his picture on her table with a content smile on her face. "Only one year, Dipper darling," she said as she closed her eyes and prepared to go to sleep. Suddenly a horrible thought occurred! What if Dipper does find another girl? What if he loses interest in me? What if Dipper becomes a player? What if, because of what I set him out to do, he stops being the boy I love? Maybe I should hire a detective to follow him? No I gave him permission to date. I should just move to wherever he lives. No then I will be just a nameless new kid! Pacifica began pacing nervously around the room fearful that she may have just ruined her chance at happiness!

Pacifica wasn't the only one who was having trouble sleeping that night. Mabel also paced around her house, planning on how to get Dipper away from Pacifica. "I'll just find him a better girlfriend! No matter how many girls I have to set him up with!" Mabel decided. "But wait, what if he doesn't like any of them and ends up becoming the Suave Debonair that Pacifica wants him to be? Worst he becomes a player and a heartbreaker! I know I'll keep the girls away from him that way he stays good and boring and Pacifica won't be interested in him anymore! But that could ruin Dipper's chances of finding true love. Blarg what to do, what can I do?"

As the two girls were freaking out over their dilemma, Dipper slept peacefully. No longer ashamed of his birthmark, and happy with the knowledge that he now has a girlfriend waiting for him. Blissfully dreaming of the day when he returns to Gravity Falls and into Pacifica's arms.

END

* * *

A/N: Yes this is the official ending. I certainly hoped you've enjoyed it, and yes I threw copier clones in for laughs and also we don't know what happened to them. Now before any of you asked I might do a sequel but I'm planing on waiting for season two just so that I have more material to work with. But I do have a side story called Pines' Quest. Please check it out.

Oh and also check out my new story 'Mega Ultra Super Heroes Unite'. The premise is that Danny Phantom, El Tigre, American Dragon, Norrisville Ninja, and Shezow team up to protect a Comic book Convention from a villain who plans to get rid of every hero in the world by destroying comic books!


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